29 days till school and I feel rotten

I’m going to see Chris tomorrow (he is off on Tuesdays or it would be today).  I am pretty sure I have pneumonia.  Definitely some kind of lung infection.  Coughing up nasty crap and I sound horrible.  I haven’t had any lung issues since the transplant pneumonias, so this one kind of caught me off guard.  I feel like someone is sitting on my chest.  It’s actually work to just breathe.  Teresa has even said it’s time for me to go see Chris.  So today I will call and make an appointment for tomorrow for the lungs and the knee; which is still bothering me a lot.

ok, I can handle weather in the mid to high 60s.  It’s just at night it gets down into the 40s where I have issues.  I am ready for the big warm up.  I thought it was starting on Easter, but that was just a tease.  The 80 degree warm up is coming and it’s coming soon I tell you.  Then we can all start complaining about how hot it is and how much we miss these 60+ degree days.  And the crazy people who will say when it gets over 100 here… I miss winter.  No one should miss the winter we just had.

I made it through yesterday with only taking a half hour nap.  Yep, I am working on being able to be awake all day like a real person.  Not worries about my summer classes as they are in the evening, but my fall classes are scheduled during traditional nap time, this might be rough.  Anyhow, I went to bed at 11:11 and woke up at 6:10am today, so 7 hours.  I think I can make it on 7 hours.  6am is just so fricking early.  But getting up that early gives me time to catch up on Facebook and Twitter and write my blog entry before the sun is fully up.  That’s ok.

Orc #3 is doing pretty good is Skyrim.  Except I can’t keep a war dog alive or he keeps running off one or the other.  500gold… poof.  Oh well, maybe I am not meant to have a war dog.  Anyhow, my orc is level 21 (not bad since I started him yesterday at 7am).  He wields a Warhammer, knows how to shoot a bow.  Kept Lydia alive.  Bummed about the war dog though.  I don’t think I killed him, but he disappeared.  The point though is I am having fun and that is what I think is important.

Lunch and dinner yesterday were leftovers from Easter, and I think today might be more of the same.  We got so much ham, so very much ham.  I think I might have ate the last of the au gratin (Alexa calls them August Rotten) potatoes.  Still have plenty of homemade potato rolls, and Teresa said she will make me some broccoli if I want it.  (I feel I should be able to cool broccoli, but the skill eludes me).  And we have the chocolate cake.  Teresa makes the BEST chocolate cake.   I can make yet another good meal out of leftovers again.

After all the reminders and posts to remind me, I forgot to call DMACC yesterday.  I got into my game and just totally spaced it.  I really need to call them.  I will do that today (I hope).  I will check the ALEKS site before I call to just see if the expired has been removed and I can take the test, but I’m not holding my breath for that.  It’s going to take me calling up to the college to get this fixed.  Blah.

Anxiety doesn’t seem as bad today.  I have health issues to worry about.  A different kind of anxiety.  But school anxiety is mellowing I think.  I know that yesterday I was all about how bad the anxiety is, but today I am much more chill about the whole situation.  I do not know what has happened as nothing has changed.   Still got all the anxiety triggers going on, but it’s not causing as much anxiety today.  I will call this a good anxiety day and move on with my life.

May 10th is when I go back to Mayo.  Have to get rid of this lung issue before I go back up there.  Don’t want to wear a mask, don’t want to spread my germs to anyone else.  But I will wear my mask if I am still coughing.  I am very conscientious about other people getting my germs.  I didn’t like other people coughing without a mask on when I was really sick, so I won’t do it.  But a Zpack should fix me right up.  And then I should be good to be around transplant patients without fear of giving them a lung infection or some such.

Maybe we are done with the cold

I wonder if it’s supposed to be 80 degrees again today.  I am sure we made it there yesterday.   80 degrees right now feels HOT.  Yes, we are running the air conditioner for part of the day.  LOL, I just looked at he weather prediction, 68 and occasional thunderstorms.   So much for my 80 degree dream.   At least it’s not 40something anymore or worse below 32 at night.  But it’s all good, I’m not going anywhere, so let it be cool and thunderstorms, I will be playing Skyrim for most of the day.

We got notice yesterday that they are going to repave our street starting today.  Lord knows we need it, it’s like one giant pothole with street between it.  So that’s another reason not to go anywhere.  I’m down with that.

Bed at 10:30pm up at 6am.  I didn’t nap yesterday.  By 10:30 I was a vegetable.  Might not nap today and see if I can get used to this.  I got more done yesterday than I have in a long time.  So, not going to say nap today, although it sounds like it might be a good day to nap, I will say I am going to take it easy.  Heh, that is every day.

Skyrim for me is a lot like D&D, I like trying out new characters.  My Khajitt made it to level 30.  1st orc made it to level 20.  2nd orc made it to level 12 (when I accidently killed Lydia and couldn’t decide on a replacement follower).  And now my Nord is gonna be retired at level 3, just not feeling him.  Maybe a Wood Elf Archer is next.  I am getting better with a bow at short distances, still suck with it at angles though.  Or maybe an Argonian (Lizard person), they get bonuses to lockpicking and pick pockets.  I got 15 minutes to decide which I a going to play today.  Might try Orc 3, I was enjoying 2nd Orc when I made a stupid mistake.

Teresa made a full Easter meal yesterday.  She cooked for 5 hours, maybe closer to 6.  We had ham, au gratins, homemade potato rolls, broccoli, deviled eggs, and a home made chocolate cake.  Dinner was delicious.  The rolls were to die for.  They tasted amazing.  My wife is such a great cook.  I think I will keep her around.

We did have some unwelcomed guests though after the meal before clean up.  ANTS.  Lots of little tiny ants all over the place.  They were mowing on the slice of ham but not to big piece of ham, so we were good there.  And the sad part is the ant trap was 2 feet away and the ants just ignored it.

So today’s lunch will be leftovers from last night.  Yep, we got lots of leftovers.  Teresa made enough to feel 7 or 8 people and there was only 3 of us eating.  I’m happy though, gonna go have deviled eggs for breakfast when I finish this blog entry.   Yeah, it’s a rough life, but someone has to live it and it might as well be me.

Reminder to self:  Call DMACC today and find out about the ALEKS test.  Someone has to know how to reset that beast, so I can finally take it again.  It’s not like I want to take it again, but they say I have to.  I guess I will start with the Registration people and go from there.  Registration is being held up by the test, so it make sense to me to start with them.  I’m sure they will have me call someone else (well transfer me), who will send me somewhere else, but eventually it will get fixed.  I hope.

School starts in 30 days.  Sometime I have to get my books, but they haven’t announced 2 of them yet.  Maybe they won’t have books, that’d be nice.  Then just 246.50 for the math class and be done with books.  I can handle that.  But college classes always have books or material made by the professor that still costs some amount.  So my dream of getting away cheap is shot, they’ll have books I am sure of it.

Anxiety is almost palpable when I get thinking about school.  It’s ridiculous that I feel so messed up about it.  Even writing what I have written here made me get anxious.  30 days, books, tests, all of it just piling on.  I want to do this, I really do.  And I reaffirm my determination to do this.   And dammit, I am not a slave to my anxiety issues.

One month till school starts

It’s Easter Sunday.  So, Happy Easter for those who celebrate it.   I choose not to.

Bed at 10:30pm up at 6am to feed the dogs and make sure they go out to take care of morning business.  I don’t think I could have slept longer though, I was actually awake before 6am but got up to be up at 6.  Nap(s) will occur today.  I love a good nap, my nap yesterday was full of bad dreams and not very restful, here is hoping for a good nap today.

I stepped on the scale for the first time in quite a while yesterday evening after lunch but before dinner, I was fully expecting bad news.  Well, I was shocked and happily surprised with the scales response of 206.8.  Yeah, buddy, let’s hear it for my new metabolism.  I thought for sure I was way over 210, but nope I holding on to the 205 area.  Color me happy.

According to Alexa, today it is supposed to get up to 80 degrees.  Wow.  First 80 of the Spring season.  Right now it’s mid-fifty something, but the heat is supposed to crank up.

I have determined something, Khajitt level faster than Orcs in Skyrim.  My Orc is only level 20 now, whereas by this point with my Khajitt, he would have been level 30 easily.  But I have discovered a flaw in my Orc, I haven’t been working on his archery skill, I think it’s 17 now (starts at 15, he read 2 skill books, the scale is to 100).  So what?  You ask.  Well, there are some quests that require archery or spell casting, neither of which my orc does.  Gonna have to change up the plan and start firing the bow and get that skill up.  Cuz I am NOT going to be a spell caster. —–  Oh yeah, I also got the ability to not hurt my followers anymore, whish has always been a problem of mine.  Whack, dead follower, reload.  Now, the hits just don’t land.  Yeah, buddy.  I like it.

I am definitely going to see Chris (my PA) tomorrow if he has any openings in his schedule.  My knee is getting worse and worse.  Residual pain is a definite 3, bend pain is a 6 and pressure pain is an 8.  I am ok with pain, but I want to know if I did something bad to it (will never know what I did).  So, me and my sore knee will head down the road a couple blocks and visit with Chris to see what he has to say.  And if he has any suggestion on what to do about it.  It’s more annoying more than anything unless I bend it or put pressure on the bend, then it’s more than just annoying.

ALEKS still won’t let me retake my assessment.  Definitely going to have to call the college and get this fixed.  Annoying that they list inactive, expired test results, but do not let me take the test again a year and half later.  I can’t be the only one experiencing this issue; there has to be others who didn’t take math for a year and a half after enrolling.  So, there has to be some mechanism in place to reset ALEKS.

School starts in exactly one month. 5/21 is the start date.  Got to get into that math class.  Got to have both English and/or Philosophy not cancelled for lack of sign ups.  Lots of anxiety thrown around.  But there is nothing I can do about anything until tomorrow, so today I am just going to play Skyrim and try not to be anxious about school.  I think I can do that.

Just a guy trying to go to College

Still going to bed too late and getting up to early.  Seems to be a pattern for me.  I was up till 11pm (which for me is late) and then woke up at 6am for no reason.  You may think 7 hours of sleep is enough, not for me, I am one tired dude.  I plan on napping at sometime today, maybe half way thru this blog entry. lol.  No seriously, I got hit with a wave of tiredness just before I started writing this entry and probably should have not started writing and taken a nap right now instead.  But since I started, I guess I will write this and then take my nap.

Still playing Skyrim.  Still having fun again.  Playing an Orc this time instead of a Khajitt (or however they spell the cat persons).  My orc is a heavy armor wearing, Warhammer wielding, enchanting machine.  I started him last night, got him to level 4, now he is level 11.  But he is dropping most bad things with one hit of his Warhammer, so it’s all good.  I am very glad to be back playing Skyrim and again I say if you have never played, pick it up off Steam, whatever you pay, it’s worth it.  And obviously, according to Hectic, it has replayability after being away from it for a while.

Beautiful day out today, the sun is shining, the birds are actually singing,  It’s a nice spring day.

I am gonna go see Chris (my PA) on Monday or Wednesday if my knee doesn’t start feeling better.  It hurts all the time to varying degrees, and Pucky keep trying to lay on my knees.  10 pounds of chihuahua is a lot on a bad knee.  I need to find out if I somehow really screwed it up or if it’s just I am getting old and things are gonna hurt.  I think and x-ray is in order and some careful poking and prodding of the knee.

I tried to take the ALEKS test yesterday but it still wouldn’t let me take it again, so on Monday I call up to the school to see what can be done.  I guess I start with Registration and they can send me to whoever I need to speak to.  I really thought that the day after expiration of the old ALEKS test would let me in, but NO, not me, says Test Expired 4/18/19 but gives no option to take it again that I can find.  Stupid ALEKS test, I didn’t want to take you yesterday anyway.

I have looked, there are no classes I need this summer that will work to fill the English nor the Philosophy classes.   So, if either gets cancelled, I drop till Fall.  Will take me hours to figure out where to stick them and the Math class in my revised several times over schedule.  I really have no wiggle room anywhere, it worked out to perfect semesters.

Anxiety is going up every day, as is my resolve to do this.  All the little things that keep adding to the anxiety (the ALEKS test, possibility of my classes being cancelled) just are adding to my resolve.  I can do this, I will do this.  Screw the anxiety,  Screw the Bipolar.  I think this time is the time I actually get to do this.  Get there, get busy, forget about anxiety, quit using bipolar as an excuse.  Yeah, let me at it.

Teresa wants to get up at 3am on the 10th and drive to Mayo to be there by 7:20am.  I want to drive up on the 9th, sleep in a bed at the transplant house, and attack the day after I get a good nights sleep.   I will lose this debate as I always do.  It’s so not worth getting into an argument over.  And Teresa is the one who does all the driving, so she should get to decide.  So, calculations, to get sleep to get up at 3am, I have to go to bed about 7pm.  Restoril to the rescue if I am not tired.

And we get to go thru this every month for the next several, cuz I have to get ALL my baby shots (immunizations) and they can’t or won’t give them all at once.  So, like a baby, I get my shots slowly every month.  The one I want is MMR and that one in normally given last.  I better not get measles or I am going to be pissed.

went to bed too late, up way too early

Went to bed at midnight, got up at 5:45am.  Yeah, pretty stupid of me.  I am one tired dude.  This is after a no nap yesterday.  In my defense, I tried to go back to sleep at 5:45 but couldn’t.  I WILL be napping later.

But the real question is, why was he up at midnight…  The guy who goes to bed at 9pm sometimes.  Well, I started playing Skyrim again and got into the main storyline where you have to go kill Alduin.   Well, I killed Alduin and then looked at the clock and it was 11pm and I hadn’t taken my night pills yet.  DOH.  Well, my night pills do two things for me, give me a little burst of energy and then usually let me go to sleep.  So, popping my meds at 11pm, I finally went to sleep at midnight.

Again, another promised storm day that kind of fizzled, well not kind of, I am not even sure it rained.  Yesterday was just cold, high of 55.  Today is supposed to be in the 70s again.  The weather is being weird, welcome to Iowa.

Teresa does not want me to go see Chris for my knee, which has been bothering me for almost a week now.  She keeps saying “Welcome to getting old.”  Well, I agree it’s a getting old issue, it’s not getting better.  Resting pain is a 2 or 3, bending pain is a 4 or 5, and pressure on a bended knee is a 7 or 8.  Nothing like coming back to bed in the middle of night and crawling in with my right knee in the front.  OH CRAP, well, now I am awake and in pain.  And for the record, it is slightly swollen.

Anyhow, seeing Chris will cost 30 dollars and the price of the X-ray(s).  30 dollars today, they will bill for the radiology.  It’s not like we can’t afford it, and it’s not like I am not going to reach my minimum anyway.   I really should go and at least get it checked out.  I still don’t know what I did to it, how I hurt it, but it hurts and I’d hate to think I really hurt it.

Hopefully today I will get to take my ALEKS math placement test.  If it doesn’t let me I call the Registrar and see if they can do something for me.  My old placement expired yesterday, hopefully it has cleared the system.  I want to get it done and over and get registered for my Bus 112 Business Math class.  After I finish my blog entry here, I will go check.  I am too tired to do math right now, but I can go see if it’ll let me.

As of now, neither my English class nor my Philosophy class have enough people signed up for them.  Would suck if either of them (or both) are cancelled.  It would totally screw my big schedule up, not to mention I would have to scrambled to find classes to fill the blanks.

Anxiety is very high.  I hate having an anxiety disorder.  It makes normal things seem impossible.  But I conquered Cancer twice, I should be able to do this.  I am strong.  Screw anxiety and screw bipolar, I refuse to be defined by them any more.

Dr. Alkhateeb’s office moved our appointment from the 22nd to the 10th of May.  Had to be moved cuz school starts on the 21st.  They still have use at blood draw at 7:20am, and they still have my bone marrow biopsy early in the morning which we asked them the change.  But at least there was no hassle in changing the day.  Oh, the 10th was chosen because I am getting my first immunization shot and It takes 10 days to be effective.  The 11th was a Saturday.

Dr. Alkhateeb said after this biopsy we are going to see him every month, they’ll have to get used to seeing me on Fridays again.  Because that is the only day I have free in Summer or Fall.   I actually made my schedule with 1 day free specifically for medical reasons.  That kind of is sad that I had to think of that.  But it’s my reality.

Perfect day to sleep away

Went to bed at 11, got up at 7, that’s 8 hours.  I will take that.  Plus, after I write this blog entry and have breakfast, I’m going to nap for a bit.  Sleep is being weird, I’m going to take advantage of when I can sleep.  And today feels like a let’s sleep day.

It did not storm all day yesterday, but I think it might today.   After days in the 70s, we are dropping down to a high of 55 and it just looks gloomy.  But the same weather guy who said storms yesterday which didn’t happen, just a little rain, said that it was going to storm today, so I am not holding my breath for it.  But the cold is here today, it was 44 when I woke up and it doesn’t have far to go to hit today’s high.

OK, I lay I bed, propped up on pillows, a lot.  Pucky and Mojo both like to lay in my lap.  Problems is the weight of them put pressure on my already hurting knee.  They don’t understand why all the sudden daddy won’t let them lay in his lap while he is playing on his laptop.  I wish there was a way to relay that it hurts, instead I use the other leg to sweep them off.  They end up laying next to me, so it’s all good I guess.  I just love my doggies and want them to be happy, and besides me or in my lap, both seem to make them happy.  So it’s all good.

I’m almost D&Dless.  Neven I quit a few weeks ago, Danny’s campaign I bowed out of, and Aravas ends in 3 weeks or sooner.  Then I will have no D&D for at least 5 weeks, maybe 8, maybe 10.

It all depends on how hard this schedule is.  I know the 5 week English class is going to be a bear.  Really tough.  But I am up for the challenge.  The 8 week math class should be easy, if I do well enough on the Aleks test to get into it.  Then there is the 10 weeks introduction to philosophy which I have no clue how tough it’s going to be, as a matter of fact, at this time, I have no idea who the instructor is going to be, says STAFF for the instructor.  It’s all good.

I think I get to take the ALEKS test today.  I believe my old one expired and she have fallen out of the system.  I hope so, I am feeling mathy today.  I only have to score a 14 on it to get into the math class I want, 2 years ago I scored a 25.  Today I don’t know slope intercept form, so it might be a  really short test.  Or I might get inspired and figure out things and score better.   Who knows, I just want to take BUS 112 Business Math, but if I bomb the ALEKS, I will take MAT 772, Applied Math or as I refer to it as 5th grade math.  It is actually an alternative for my Web Development degree.  Yep, basic math or business math are the 2 choices.  But since Business Math is required for Marketing, Photography, and Video Production, that is the one I want to do.  Anyhow, if I can’t take the ALEKS today, I should be able to take it tomorrow.

I was going over my big tentative schedule I did.  I am gonna have a lot of online classes during the summers.  I DO NOT LIKE OR WANT ONLINE CLASSES.  But I guess I don’t have a choice, if I want to go to DMACC and do almost any program, I will be taking a plethora of online classes, especially over the summer semesters.

But, assuming I pass all my classes,  I have 9 credits every summer, and 12 or 14 or 15 credits every Fall or Spring.  It’s all good.  I can handle this.  If I can get through this first semester, I should be good to go for the rest of the schedule.

Oh, I did end up doing Orientation.  Took about 20 minutes and I missed 1 question to prove I read it, which I didn’t.  It was boring, inane, and stupid for someone my age to have to go through, but I did it.  So the school should be happy now.

Anxiety is high.  But on the other hand Confidence is high too.  I really think this time I am going to be able to do this.  I’m going to be a anxious wreck at the start, but I should ooze into it fairly quickly.  And finally get a degree.  Yeah, it’ll only be an AAS degree, but for me it means a lot more than that.

Oh yeah, I go back to Mayo on May 10th to start my immunizations and get a bone marrow biopsy.  The immunization schedule should have been started a few months ago, but that’s just my opinion.  The bone marrow biopsy is to just make sure everything still looks good.  I thought I would be on the once a year biopsy program, but he said 3 months, then 6 months, then yearly.  My poor hip bone is just chuck full of holes.  Anyhow, it is what it is and I will get bone marrow biopsies on his command.

And in case you are reading this and you didn’t see it on Facebook.  In the coolest test results I have gotten from Mayo Labs, my blood type changed from O+ at A+.  Yeah, buddy, way cool.

Anxiety and things more pleasant

Up at 4am, went back to “sleep” and finally gave up and woke up at 6am.  This is probably school anxiety now that I think about it.  Timing is right, for Stem Cell Implant anxiety causing sleep issues moving right into school anxiety issues in general followed by 5 weeks till school starts anxiety issues.  Anxiety has always messed with my sleep, I know this, it’s nothing new.  I take 2mg clonazepam every night to try to deal with the anxiety and that might not be enough.  I know people on a lot more to deal with their anxiety, wow do I need to see the shrink.  Less than 1 month to go.

It’s supposed to storm all day today, so I am not going to see Chris about my knee.  Relations between the 2 things is sketchy, but leave it as I don’t want to get wet so I am not going anywhere today.  My knee will just hurt another day or two, and it’s not like he is going to have a mega-cure.  So as long as I can deal with the pain and not do stupid things with my knee, I’ll be fine.  I walked 1/2 hour on it last night and it didn’t hurt anymore than it does laying around.  It’s just bending it that hurts.

Mojo has started giving me high 5s.  Previously, he’d only give them to Teresa.  It’s the cutest thing you can imagine.  You put your hand on to get the high 5, then you say “Mojo, high 5” and he runs over and smacks your hand with his front paws.  Well, Teresa got him doing it about a year ago.  He finally did it for me a day or so ago.

Pucky’s annoying is his roll over trick, he will only do it if you have the treats out.  But get those treats out and he does his roll over trick 100% of the time.  Sometimes it’s sloppy and he is all over the place, but most of the time he is concise and rolls over in tight order.

I love my dogs.  I think they both are considered elderly, but they sure don’t act like old dogs.  They run and play and Mojo barks at everything.  We did good when we decided to get chihuahuas, they are the perfect dogs for us.

I took a real hard look at my schedule for summer session coming up.  It’s going to be real tough and a lot of work.  English 105 Composition I in 5 weeks is gonna be scary tough.  The other 2 classes, BUS 112 Business Math and PHI 101 Intro to Philosophy don’t scare me as much.  But with the English class in mind, I decided that I am not doing Danny’s campaign.  Don’t want to start what I won’t be able to play thru for at least 5 weeks.  Not fair to Danny, not fair to the other players.  So Cracked isn’t going to see the light of day.

Aravas had 3 more sessions if we can get everyone together for them.  Then it’s going on a 10 week hiatus, much to my player’s dismay.  But school has to come first.

Found out that I won’t need a parking pass until Fall semester.  No parking pass is needed for after hours parking and my summer classes are just that.  So, it’s all good there, I got plenty of time to get my parking pass problems straightened out.

My ID should be here in less than 2 weeks then hopefully I can go get my books for summer.  EXPENSIVE, they say put aside 300 dollars to buy books a semester, HA.  My math book alone is 258.50.  English and philosophy haven’t announced their books yet.  Got to love summer, things get put off to the last minute.

As I mentioned earlier, I think anxiety is running really high and without a shrink right now, there isn’t anything to be done.  So I will just kick back and try to enjoy the ride.  I’m just hoping that Mania doesn’t come too.  Cuz that would suck.