Shortest blog post by me ever

Well, I got my tp53 mutation analysis results yesterday, they were negative for mutation. WOOT!!! It was negative last biopsy too, but it’s still nice to have it confirmed. My blood stats are so good, my chromosome test has to be good too. That test result should be in tomorrow or potentially today. If that comes back clean too, I will officially be in remission. However, doc A says I need to be on chemo for 6 more months to hopefully make remission stick for a while.

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Things are not going well for the Chronicles Dungeons and Dragons game getting it ready. I have asked the players to not make characters or backstories until session 0. This is because I have some restrictions that will be going on. Session 0 is this Thursday, they didnt have to wait long, however, some players have already made their characters, which will have to be changed, and some have chosen their backstories which I have throw out. I feel bad about mushing backstories that they have worked on, but if they do not fit the narrative, then they can’t be. The narrative is that all the party members were born and raised in Light’s Hope. They have never left Light’s Hope. Light’s Hope is their home. They led perfectly normal lives. I’ve been saying this all along, but am getting wild stories for backgrounds. I’m gonna by adamant at session 0, that I have put a lot of work into this campaign and I will see it happen, with or without them. I do have 1 more player chomping at the bit to get in the game.

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Chemo yesterday, chemo today, chemo tomorrow. Dr. Wehbe visit on Thursday. I see a lot of the Clive office of Mission Cancer + Blood (dumb name) this week. It was nice being back at the Clive office, it is much more mellow than downtown. And so much easier to get to.

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heh, short short short blog post this morning, just wanted to share my good news and vent my frustrations. so with that done, I guess I will go find a video

D&D and other things

It is early Monday morning, Teresa just came in to say Good Morning and ask how I am doing. She then went back to work in her lady lair. On the rare occasions that I use it, does temporarily become a man cave? Nah, to feminine, I’m just a dude in a lady lair. I really enjoy that Teresa gets to work from home still, I have no clue how much longer this will be allowed, but I know she is gonna keep working from home until they make her come back to the office.

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This afternoon, in the heat, I will be going for round 7 of chemo. Today is supposed to be mid-80s with heat index in the 90s, while tomorrow is supposed to be mid-90s with heat index in the 100s. I chose the wrong times to have my chemo, 2pm, ugh its gonna be miserable walking from the parking lot to the building. But I only have to deal with the heat for 4 days, 3 days of chemo and 1 day of appointment with Dr. Wehbe.

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I moved Session 0 for the Chronicles Dungeons and Dragons game to this Thursday, the 4th. No sense in waiting. I have everything ready and the players all seem ready. So, for the sake of sanity, I moved the date up. That will allow us to have Session 1 on the 18th. There will be no gaming at session 0. It is mainly for getting to know each other, relaying information, and answering questions, and finally making characters. Once that is done, I have a short homework assignment for them to help me know there characters better, and its is lieu of a backstory. I got these questions of a YouTube video on how to run a session 0. I like most of the questions, so I am gonna post those on Discord and have them type up the responses and email them to me. Then I will incorporate those answers into my world. This the 2 weeks between session 0 in session 1. I’m gonna be busy.

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I am anxiously waiting for the chromosomal and tp53 mutation results. I wasn’t anxious yesterday but today I am. Go figure. I know that they are going to be fine. I have no reason for this anxiety. But I am slightly nauseous, and jittery, I hope the results come soon.

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Jason has added other Dave to his Sunday night Dungeons and Dragons Eberron game. I am happy about this. Other Dave is also playing in the Chronicles D&D game on Thursday nights. Other Dave is a real nice guy who left D&D a few months ago, said he was done, then came back for a one shot and was hooked again. D&D is like that, it is hard to walk away permanently. I’m just glad that other Dave is back.

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My Dungeons and Dragons Maloon game will resume next Tuesday, but then I should have my results that I am anxiously waiting for. I’ve had stuff ready for their next adventure for a while, but with the bone marrow biopsy and all the accompanying anxiety, I just wasn’t up to running the game. Next week I should be fine. And Maloon should continue.

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jubal’s game will hopefully conclude on Friday, if not this Friday then next Friday. It’s all good either way. jubal’s second attempt at DMing, things went a little wild on him, he improvised well enough. He did a fine job one night one considering we didn’t follow his planned path. Heh, if I had a dollar for every time my party didn’t do what I planned, I’d be rich. But I digress, I hope we get to the Goliath in need and we conclude our mission.

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My mom and brother plan to come visit on the 22nd now. Staying for I don’t know how long. They never stay long, it’s boring here, especially considering I am still in a self (well Teresa) imposed lockdown. Only going out for doctor’s things. Can’t go out for dinner, movies are still closed till who knows when,not that there is anything I want to see, and this is a small town. So, I don’t blame them for not wanting to stay long. It’ll be good to see them though, I do not see them often enough. This visit may be cancelled if Jim gets the job in Colorado.

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Dr. Alkhateeb has banned me form groups larger than 10 until there is a vaccine for Covid-19. Which blows my party and thanskgivingfest out of the picture. it’s really hard to think of anything I can do with a group of 10 or less. I want to go someplace and do something. I’m tired of being cooped up. This sucks.

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Biopsy preliminary results are in

This morning waiting in my inbox, was biopsy test results, at least a link to the preliminary results. This is the fastest they have ever gotten them to me, and I am thankful. Anyhow, the results looked good. Every thing that was a little off, the doctor who did the study had a logical suggestion for the cause. So, this was great news for my Sunday morning. Still have to wait for the chromosomal study and the tp53 mutation study which should be here the 3rd or 4th of June. But at this point, it sounds like those are going to be normal too.

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I have my 6 players (was gonna stop at 5, but I ended up with 7, booted the really young kid and settled on 6). 3 friends, Cori, Danny and Dave (other Dave), and then 3 new Kayla, Alan and Scott. Kayla and Alan are noobs, well Kayla is a complete noob, and Alan is a old school player from 1978, he had problems getting Discord to work, but he figured it out, and then he had problems making a character on dndbeyond but he figured that out too, not rocket science. We are an older group of players, 24 is the youngest, 53 is the oldest, so we average late 30s. LOL. The Chronicles Dungeon and Dragons campaign is gonna be great. Session 0 is set for June 11th. And Session 1 is set for June 25th. I’m doing this differently this time. Its gonna be interesting, its gonna be fun.

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Jason cancelled his Dungeons and Dragons Eberron game this week. So there is no game tonight. Which is a slight bummer. But I understand his reasons, I think. So, I got something to look forward to next Sunday.

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7th cycle of chemo starts Monday.

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I cancelled my Dungeons and Dragons Maloon game this week due to anxiety. So there is no game on Tuesday. Which is also a slight bummer. But my reasons are solid, I am having problems concentrating on anything due to being so anxious about the bone marrow biopsy. But I might change my mind and reinstate it cuz I am not very anxious after getting the preliminary results this morning.

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Thursday I have an appointment with Dr. Wehbe to go over my biopsy results with him. That is assuming my chromosomal and tp53 mutation study results are in by then. Dr. Wehbe isn’t gonna tell me anything I don’t already know, but he is doing me a solid, so yeah, I will meet with him. Besides, I like Dr. Shorty.

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Friday we resume Adam’s Dungeons and Dragons two or three shot. It’s all good. Last session took 3 hours to get where it should have taken us maybe 1 hour. So his one shot became a two shot, and if our comedy of errors continues, it might be a 3 shot. Ah such is the life with a new Dungeon Master.

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Ya wanna know something, even though I have incurable cancer, I live a good life. I have good friends. I have an incredible wife. I’m in surprisingly good health for a guy with cancer. I have my games. My bipolar isn’t bothering me much, anxiety though. But really I am happy Yeah, I’m not gonna live to a ripe old age, but so what I am having fun anyway.

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I am sorry to have to say that there will be no STILL NOT DEAD party this year, nor will I be able to make Thanksgivingfest this year. Dr. Alkhateeb put a 10 person cap on me until there is a vaccine for Covid-19. So, hopefully next year for both.

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Possibly the end of theater of the mind

It has occurred to me, kind of like a slap in the face, that Theater of the Mind Dungeons and Dragons is a dying thing. With Roll20 and Fantasy Grounds out there, its become painfully obvious that Virtual Table Tops are what people want now. I have ads on dndbeyond and the Greater Des Moines Dice & Dragons meetup group and have gotten a whole 3 responses in 24 hours. 1 has joined us, he talked to me and sensed my excitement about TotM gaming. 1 asked about it and then just didn’t respond. And the 3rd is a complete Dungeons and Dragons Newbie, so will probably run when they find out what theater of the mind is. Session 0 is in 12 days, I hope I can find 1 more person who can see the joy and freedom that is Theater of the Mind.

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Despite the problems I am having finding a 5th person to play, my Thursday night Dungeons and Dragons campaign prep is coming along nicely. I have a firm idea of what the characters are going to be doing on the greater scale, its all plotted out. Oh the title of the campaign is Chronicles of the Lost, I will be referring to it as the Chronicles game. I am going to try something different with this campaign than I normally do. I really hope the players like it, its going to be a lot more work on my part.

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Maloon is on hiatus again this week due to anxiety on my part. We will be resuming of June 9th with another installment. Luckily all my players for that one are personal friends, so they understood when I had to take 2 weeks off for health crap.

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I spent 2 days in painful hell from the biopsy site. Today it finally feels better. Just a dull ache instead of a 6-7 pain. I have never had a biopsy site feel so painful before, I figure he poked thru a nerve or something. It’s all good though, biopsy is done and everyone is expecting good results.

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Speaking of results, I should have June 2nd or 3rd. You know, the middle of next week. We are expecting everything to be clean because my blood numbers are so good. ALMOST normal Hemoglobin and normal white blood count and platelets. Yeah buddy, I am doing really good right now. I found out from Dr. Alkhateeb that the odds of surviving 2 years after transplant with my type of mds is only about 10%, not the 17.1% I had thought previously. So wow to that, its surreal beating the odds like this.

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Ho hum, another Publisher’s Clearing House prize day and another day they didn’t knock on my door or ring my doorbell. Oh well, I am too close to dead to enjoy being rich anyway. But I will keep entering and maybe, just maybe one day before I do die, they will knock on my door with a big check and a real check. While I am not holding my breath for that day, I am concentrating on staying alive and playing Dungeons and Dragons.

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Monday I start my 7th round of this chemo. Dr. Alkhateeb has decided NOT to make me go to 5 days and I am happy about that. Since I am doing so well on 60% of the normal dose why dink with it. I talked with him, when I reach 1 year on chemo, I have his permission to ask to try to live off of chemo and we will see what happens. I will forever and always be on blood tests every other week. So coming off chemo will be watched very carefully. And if something went wrong, it’d be caught and back on chemo I would go. But the dream is to live a normalish life again, even for a little while.

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Mayo and odds and ends

Our 16 hour day yesterday turned out only be a 14 hour day, thanks to them rushing the office visits at the end and getting us out early. Thank you Gabe, Laurie, and Dr. Alkhateeb, you made a sore guy happy.

Anyhow, for those who didn’t know, yesterday was a trip to Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. After a 4 hour drive and a weird detour we got there with about 10 minutes to spare. It was a little weird having my temp taken and being told that my mask wasn’t good enough and being given a new paper one, heh. Oh well.

Having blood drawn is the same everywhere. This time was no different than the thousand blood draws I have had before. Only had to wait about 10 minutes before my name was called, so I call that all good.

Then it was off to the bone marrow biopsy. I got there a little early but didn’t wait long at all. The called me back, checked my weight and height and then took me back to my room. Teresa did not get allowed to come back with me, so waiting there was boring. There they took my temp again, hooked me up to the monitors, gave me an IV and ask the 100 questions about my health. Waited about 5 minutes in there and then rolled me to the procedure room. Their they knocked me out, obviously did the biopsy, and I awoke back in my room. It took me about 15 minutes to shake of the effects of the sedatives. Then I sat there for 5 more minutes. Then the nurse unconnected me from everything, and sent me on my merry way back to Teresa. The biopsy spot did not hurt then.

It was 10:30 and we were trying to decide what to do for lunch. Quiznos won. Their Baja Chicken Sub is really good. Anyhow, we got out food and then sat outside and ate. My biopsy site started to ache a bit.

We had almost 2 hours to kill before the appointments started. We went up to the transplant center, I checked in for the 3 appointments, and then plopped my butt down in a chair and watched HGTV while we waited. Biopsy site actively hurting.

They called us back a little early. We met with Gabe, our favorite pharmacist and Laurie the nurse. We went over meds with Gabe, and discussed issues I have going on (forgot one though). Spent about a half hour talking mainly with Gabe, then he left, and Laurie had a few more questions. Then she went to find Dr. Alkhateeb, Laurie came back and said 15 minutes. We asked for an icepack cuz by now my biopsy site is hurting a lot. About 20 minutes later Dr. Alkhateeb comes in.

Dr. Alkhateeb used to be a big man. Now he is a much slimmer big man. He looked good. Anyhow, we talked a bit, he’s very happy with the results of all my tests EXCEPT, he things I might have some GVHD of the liver too (to go along with the dry skin). That is a bummer, but he said its minor at worse. He shot down the STILL NOT DEAD Party for this year. And he said that when I have been on chemo for 12 months, I can ask to come off chemo and see what happens. So it may not be chemo for the rest of my life. He also said I am NOT going to 5 days of chemo, staying at 3 cuz its working. So, all in all a good visit, with some not so good news. But I am happy, he is happy, we’re all happy. The biopsy site was the most painful biopsy that I have ever had. OMG.

We got out of there by 2:30 instead of 4:30. Woot. We had the worst Hardee’s ever for dinner on the way home. But were home by 6:30, instead of 8:30. YAY. I took a pain pill to make it home cuz this biopsy hole hurt so much. But overall it was a nice uneventful drive home. It feels so good to be home too. Some more Tylenol to try to help with the pain.

That was our trip to Mayo. Now its a waiting game for the results of the biopsy, we are thinking the 3rd for general results and the 5th for the mutation results. I am not as anxious as I thought I’d be, but then again I am not really awake yet.

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Came home, got on Discord, and discovered that Chris got booted from Jason’s game. Chris was a nice enough kid. But he was a bit whiny and a lot of poor me happened with him. Sorry to see him go. Really, I am. Now Jason has to figure out what he is going to do. So no game next Sunday.

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I already cancelled my Tuesday game next week figuring I would be high anxiety. So, no game on next Tuesday.

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There will be the continuation of Adam’s one-two shot on the Gang Gaming Server on Friday night. I am looking forward to actually getting to the quest. lol. So, there is that for Dungeons and Dragons this week,

I have 3 people now for my Thursday night Dungeons and Dragons game, Chronicles of the Lost. I need 2 more and will get them from the Greater Des Moines Dice & Dragons Meetup Group. I figure when I post the game, I will have 20 or 30 people to pick from, so finding 2 more won’t be a problem. Finding too many might be a problem.

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Today I plan to play around with my new map making program and see what I can do. Its a sweet program, does overland maps, dungeons maps, and city maps. If I can figure it out, then for both of my campaigns there shall be maps.

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It’s sounding more and more likely that my brother and mother will be moving to Colorado. I’ll be happy when Jim gets a job. But I don’t want them to move. Oh well, I have no say in the matter. So, I hope things work out for him

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Anxiety go away

OK, I make no secret that I hate Roll20. Roll20 is a Virtual Table Top for gaming (for those that didn’t know). The character generator on it is barbaric. And the interface is complicated and not intuitive. Roll20 just sucks. Both of the games I talked about yesterday blew apart on me cuz they waned Roll20. So, for the Saturday night game, I read a 10 page primer only for the last line to read, “to get used to Roll20”, I was crushed, all along I was eating up what he had written and then Bam, Roll20. So I cancelled on joining that one. Then with the Europeans, I talked with the contact guy, he was on board for theater of the mind, but he had to run it by the rest of his players. The rest of his players are all new players and they couldn’t “See it in their minds” so they didn’t want me cuz I don’t use the craptastic Roll20. So, I give up for a while on searching for a new game and am back to running my own 2nd campaign of theater of the mind, the way Dungeons and Dragons was meant to be played.

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Speaking of Dungeons and Dragons, we did not play last night cuz I was/am too anxious to concentrate hard enough to run a good game. So this Tuesday and next Tuesday there will be no Maloon games.

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By this time tomorrow we should be in Minnesota about an hour from Mayo Clinic. Yep, we are leaving between 4am and 4:15am. It makes for a brutal day, but its what Teresa wants to do. Hopefully I will be able to sleep in the car. I will try. Heh.

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Anxiety is driving me crazy today. I feel nauseous. I am experiencing the shakes again. It’s not pleasant at all. Tomorrow can’t get here soon enough. I will feel better once I am there.

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I had said I was gonna run my 2nd game on Sunday afternoons. However, Teresa asked me not to because sometimes she likes to sleep past noon on Sundays. So I have to pick a night. I have Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday to choose from. Per the Boomtown Rats, I don’t like Mondays. Wednesdays are reserved for Cori’s one-shots and eventual campaign. That leaves Thursday and Saturday. People like to take care of things on the weekend, so it looks like Thursday night. Maybe if i change it to Thursday night, Cori will play. Cori adds the right amount of chaos. Danny will play no matter what day it is, he just wants to play again. I don’t know who else I can get, maybe other Dave cuz I think Dave is at his maximum to maintain wife faction. Now I have options besides reddit to find players and that makes me happy. So, it is looking like Thursday evenings for my 2nd campaign and I have 1 player as of now. Heh, I got time to find more.

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The potential that my brother and mother might be moving to Colorado is putting me in a spot for my STILL NOT DEAD party this year, which hasn’t officially been squashed yet. And my REALLY STILL NOT DEAD party next year. I won’t have any place to hold these parties. I want Jim to find a job, but I don’t want him and mom to move to Colorado. For totally selfish reasons.

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Teresa shaved my head and beard last night. Feels so nice now. It’s amazing how much difference 3/4 of an inch can make.

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I am really tired right now but I am gonna try to stay awake all day so I can go to bed at 8pm. Might be mission impossible trying to stay awake, but I am going to try. Getting at 3:30 is going to be rough otherwise.

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OK, cutting this (what feels like) short. Don’t have a whole lot to say I guess. You all have a good dady.

Busy yesterday evening, slept in today

I slept in today, barely waking to take my 7am pill, I slept till 10:30am. Then got up and had leftover pizza, caught up of Facebook, and checked my email. It felt good to sleep in, mind you there still might be a nap later, but sleeping in was what I needed.

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I said I wasn’t gonna do and I went and done it anyway. I found a new Dungeons and Dragons game on Saturday nights. I am getting in on the very beginning of the campaign. Otherwise I would have not joined on a Saturday night. I texted with the DM for a half hour last night, he is old school like me. I think we are going to become friends. I have a voice chat with him at 4ish today to just make sure I can understand his Louisiana accent lol. But I will probably be making a character tonight.

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Also yesterday, I volunteered to DM for a bunch of Europeans (the posters term). That is if Discord doesn’t have bad lag between here and there. It will start in 3 weeks on Thursday afternoons for me, which is evening for them. The weird thing is the contact guy friended me on Discord but didn’t say anything, so I don’t know whats going on with that. I accepted his friend request and said Hello and he/she/it started playing Terraria. <shrug>

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Between adding late Saturday night, and possibly Thursday afternoon I have decided not to try to do a Sunday afternoon game, this will disappoint a few people, but I am sure they will understand.

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Anxiety level is thru the roof, but I can’t take Xanax until tonight cuz it makes me stoned and puts me to sleep. So I just have to live with it right now. Still feeling anxious about going to Mayo. Stupid anxiety to have. Been to Mayo a bajillion times and nothing bad has ever happened. So why am I freaking out about it?

Speaking of Mayo and anxiety. I will be fine once I am there. However, the day after I have my bone marrow biopsy, I will start being anxious about the results. Maybe I am a little anxious about them already and I haven’t even had the test yet. Stupid stupid anxiety.

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The Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of the week after Mayo visit are chemo days. Just what I need. Maximum anxiety with a touch of chemo. Blah. At least the chemo will be administered at the close office, they are reopening on that Monday, the 1st of June. That is the only good thing coming up, not having to drive downtown anymore.

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Oh yeah, I got the updated spelljammer information today. Gonna start reading thru it in a little bit. Dungeons and Dragons in space. Yeah buddy. Thank you Adam S of the Greater Des Moines Dice and Dragons meetup group. I owe you one.

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It’s noon and I have achieved nothing I wanted to do today and it feels pretty darn good. Soon Teresa will stir from her computer to find lunch unless she is super busy then she skips lunch. I will poke my head in there and see how she is doing after I finish this.

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well, I guess that is it for now. Peace to my brothers and sisters who read this.