9 Circles of Hell

So, I get to register for Fall classes at Midnight on Wednesday morning.  Heh, it’s not like I won’t probably be awake.  My proposed schedule is perfect, I hope nothing gets full before then.  The odds are definitely in my favor though, so I am not worried about it.

I talked to Financial Aid (which I am sure is located somewhere in the Hell, next to the DMV).  I can’t fix anything for Fall/Spring aid until July.  OK, that is fine I guess.  I’m gonna save 2000 dollars from summer just in case things don’t get changed for me.  I need 3000 for each semester, they right now are offering me 2000 per semester, so saving 2000 dollars from summer will get me the 3000 each semester that I need.  I don’t know why they tight-wadded it, but I will get this straightened out one way or the other.

42 days til Classes start.  35 days til I get my books for summer.  I am still feeling good about this time, still feeling ready for school.  Maybe I have finally matured enough to finally do it.

Found out today also from Financial Aid, that since my summer classes are all online that my aid won’t be released until 45 days into the semester.  In other words, I should get my financial aid around July 19th instead of June 28th.  Oh well, as long as the pay tuition and books, I don’t care about the other money.  Don’t think I’ll need it this summer.

Anxiety levels about school are still kind of low.  This is a good thing.  Last time I had to wait a couple months I was practically having major anxiety not attacks but feelings every day for like 3 months.  Now I am still pretty chill.  My shrink did increase my clonazepam (klonnies) from 1mg a day to 2x1mg a day as needed.  If I do start freaking out during the day, I have the option of taking a second instead of just my 1 at night.  He also thinks it will help me maintain balance when school starts in the Fall.

Shrink and I talked a good amount of time about Seasonal Affective Disorder and how bad I was last year.  Somehow I missed seeing him when I was at my worst.  I blame it on me not wanting to leave my house from the end of September to the end of November.  Anyhow, we do have plans to try to elevate my mood during SAD season.  Only problem is I have no ability to control my internal temperature.  And part of the plan is going outside for a half hour a day (on sunny days).  Well, with being in school, this won’t be as hard as it was last year, assuming I don’t totally shut down and drop out of life again this Fall.  I guess we have several months to figure this out.  And I trust my shrink when he says “We can get you thru this.”

Regular doc lowered my blood pressure med again cuz my blood pressure was way too low in the mornings, like I couldn’t get out of bed low.  Not good since I am trying to get up earlier each day (heh, I slept til 11 today though).  Yesterday I was up by 7:30.  A little earlier each day is the goal so when Fall hits my body will be used to getting up at 6 to get me to school by 8.  I may have started this process really early, I just don’t want to put it off and then get caught with having to get up at 6 as a shocker.  With trying to get up at 6, I am going to have to start going to bed earlier.  Much to Teresa’s annoyance.  I need my 8+ hours of sleep, she gets by on 4 to 6.  She likes to stay up late and has little to no problem getting up.  If I stay up late, I sleep late, simple as that.

I think I need to talk to my adviser again.  I think I want to take the English Refresher course this summer in their special session.  2 weeks, hardcore.  May 8th – May 19th.  It would screw with my financial aid (since it’s not an online course, my funds would go back to being released on June 28th).  Increase my tuition by 441 dollars, plus the price of the book.  I would need to talk to my adviser to take more than 10 credits this summer.  But since this class runs BEFORE summer session actually starts.  It shouldn’t be an issue.  Got to think about this for a bit, but not too long as that class will have an effect on my Fall schedule, but that’s all good there is a Comp I class that meets at exactly the same time as the English Refresher in the Fall, so that is a wash.

Everything is still going great.  Just got some thinking to do.  It’s all good.  Peace.




Author: Jeff Campbell

I am 50 year old guy, who beat blood cancer but is getting his butt kicked by bone marrow cancer. At this point it appears I am dying. Married and in love with the most wonderful woman in the world (27 years). She has stood by me thru a lot of crap and I love her so.

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