The waiting is the hardest part

OK, I had been in remission from Leukemia for 2 years.  Life had been going great.  Things had all been falling into place.  I have been happy.

Then a few days ago, I went to my regular doctor and asked for some flexeril to hold me over until I get to see the pain doc.  No problem there.  She just comments that I am looking a little pale and asks to do another blood test (after having one 3 weeks earlier).  I was all “sure, whatever”.

Turns out that all my blood numbers are down.  Hemoglobin, WBC and Platelets were way down.  This prompted my regular doctor to contact my cancer doctor who ordered a bone marrow biopsy, which happened Yesterday afternoon.

Now is the long weekend wait for the results.  Waiting sucks and over a weekend it just ruins the weekend. Not that we had anything planned, but the potential that we could have done something is there.

Waiting to hear the bad news that my Leukemia has had a reoccurrence. Waiting to hear that I am going to have to have a bone marrow transplant.  Just waiting.


I put both of my D&D games on hold until I find out if I am sick again.  Can’t concentrate on anything.   Luckily, everyone has been cool about it.  I have such great plans for both campaigns. Just glad I hadn’t started finding people for a third game just to tell them, oh, never mind.


I think I feel most sorry for my wife.  This is being really rough on her.  She is supposed to go on travel on Monday.  She doesn’t know if she is going to go.  They offered to fly her out and fly her right back if needed.  That would suck.  I should know Monday but it might not be until Tuesday.  She just wants to know too.


Thank the gods that the republicans haven’t repealed Obamacare yet.  Obamacare put a cap on how much out of pocket that it can cost for treatment of leukemia.  Neither the House nor the Senate versions of the new health bills have any such cap.


I just hate the not knowing.  Simple as that.

Author: Jeff Campbell

I'm a 45+ year old AML survivor, now with MDS. About to go to Mayo for a Stem Cell Transplant. I also have bipolar disorder. Cancer and bipolar make for an interesting life sometimes. I have a wonderful wife of 25+ years who has been with me thru it all. Even with my problems, I pretty much love my life.

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