It’s been a while

Hey guys, sorry it has been a while since I posted here.  My bipolar kicked in and my mood went into the crapper.  I didn’t have anything new to say, or if I did I blew it off as non-important and went on with my life as it is.


So my blood numbers all went down and that freaked my regular doctor out.  She contacted my cancer doctor who ordered a bone marrow biopsy to find out that I do NOT have leukemia again.  He had no valid reason as to why my numbers all dropped at the same time, but at least he had some sort of plan.  And boy does his plan suck.  —-  100mg of Prednisone a day for a week, then go in for a blood test, then 90mg for a week, another blood test and so forth and so one til I finally go down to 10mg a day for a week, then maybe my blood production will go back to behaving like it is supposed to.

Prednisone is my instant-asshole med.  Turns me into a total jerk.  Makes me want to destroy things.  100mg is causing severe stomach pains.  I can’t eat enough in the morning to circumvent this pain.  Or so it sure seems, today I ate more than I ate for dinner last night and still had the pain.  So maybe food isn’t the answer and the answer is just deal with it.  I really do want my blood numbers to go back to normal normal, as opposed to the weird normal that had settled into.

Anyhow, I am fighting really hard to not take it out on my wife, my mother, my brother, my friends, my dogs, anyone I have to deal with.  It is being really difficult.  I want to scream and shout and break things, instead I am just cruising thru life, trying not to offend.


To that end, I have put both of my Mumble D&D games on hold.  Initially because of the depression I was in…  now because of the pent up rage I am feeling.  I hope that the people who didn’t know me before don’t bail on me.  As soon as I level out I plan to resume the games.


I cancelled the cruise next year for lots of reasons.  The biggest being my fear that the leukemia would come back right before we were supposed to sail.  That would be my luck.  Holland American Cruise Lines rocks though.  They could have kept 20% of everything I put in (I did read the paperwork).  Instead the refunded the whole amount or are refunding the whole amount rather.  That is super nice of them if you ask me.  I would guess that were I feeling physically and mentally better now, I wouldn’t have cancelled.  But with such extremes going on now, things could still be worse.


Oh yeah, remember my complaining about my back hurting.  Well it still hurts.  Of course it is my own damn fault for moving my desk into the bedroom and my computer from beside my bed.  Although, I do have to say that the desk setup looks marvelous.  Anyhow, my point I was making, it hurts my back to sit.  Lounging back on pillows with a keyboard in my lap was much better on making my back not hurt.  —  So, I start physical therapy next week.  Goody.  While dealing with pent up rage issues, I get a therapist telling me how I am supposed to stretch and move and sit and stuff.  This physical therapy is to make my pain doctor shut up.  He did give me a short in my nerve damage area of my neck and that feels 110% better, he did nothing for the rest of my back.  Not even pain pills of a minor form.  He said, physical therapy so off I am gonna go.


Skyrim is still my go to game to pass the day away.  I lost interest in the character I was playing last time, when I said this would be the one I would play to beat the game.  Heh.  I started an Orc Warrior who is now Master of the Assassins guild, Master of the Thieves guild, Archmage of the Mage school, and a Bard, oh yeah, he also collected all 24 special gems and the crown for the game killer quest.  That quest was not fun.  The resulting Prowler’s Promise or whatever it was called like that is an amazing result.  All the gems that keep showing up, where there used to be maybe 2 on a whole dungeon, there would be 40 or so for a run.  Not silly little cheap gems either, but flawless ones worth big bucks.  But I am bored with him now too.

Tried to play a caster AGAIN.  A Breton Conjurer.  Someone online posted it was the most fun he had playing the game ever.  I say he levels too ridiculously slow.  He is level 17 now and if he were a warrior or thief that did the same quests, I would have been level 30.  It’s the way you gain xp in the game that is screwy.  You don’t get xp for completing quests, you get it when you skill up any skill.  Well a Conjurer, conjures, the rest of his skills just kind of flounder.   There is no armoring to do.  Enchanting has minimal usage.  It was fun, but I am definitely a results for time spent kind of guy I guess.

I don’t know right now what new class/race I am going to try.  But I seriously doubt it will be a caster from the go.  Since anyone can learn to cast spells.  And even with a base starting out magic ability you can become Archmage of the mage school, even while carrying a 2 handed axe and wearing a full suit of dragonplate armor.    Heh, the game is a little screwy I guess.


I have given up on the diet and exercise thing I was going to try.  Well, the physical therapy will include some exercise I am sure.  But not joining a gym is part of my plan.  And not going on weight watchers is also part of the plan.  Why?  Because I don’t like brown rice.


So anyhow, to sum up my life.  I am an angry, sick, pained, Skyrim Junky, who would rather just be left alone right now.


Normally, I would be off to find a picture to put here.   But laziness has claimed the call.  So, no pic today.  Just a honest hope that everyone who reads this is having a better life than I am right now.

 

 

Author: Jeff Campbell

I am a 46 year old dude, married to the most wonderful woman in the world. I am officially a 2 year survivor of AML Leukemia. I am crazy but love my life anyway.

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