At least there is a diversion

Mood is still great.  So happy about not being depressed and angry anymore.  Will always take a happy great mood over the down I was in.  However, anxiety is getting worse. 20 days til transplant, 10 days til things start at Mayo, and 5 days til we are supposed to leave to go drop of Pucky and Mojo and see my mom and brother.  Time is not on our side.  We got a lot to do to get ready to be not in the house for 4 months and just really not a lot of time to get prepared.  This is causing a lot of anxiety for me and for Teresa too.  It’s not that we put stuff off, it’s that we never knew if it was really going to happen, so priorities were skewed.  So whereas my mood is excellent, anxiety has me somewhat tied in knots and its not gonna get better probably for 20 days.


A moment about anxiety.  Anxiety has been with me for the past 30ish years.  It has kept me from doing a lot of things (most specifically school), and rises it’s ugly head whenever anything of importance happens in my life.  Where I can live with my bipolar, it sucks, but its just what it is…  Anxiety is always a negative, so hard to live with, impossible to live with.  This transplant and everything we have to do for it are feeding into my anxiety.  It’s taking everything in my being to continue on with all this.  Today the anxiety is really bad and I am not sure why.


I feel sorry for Teresa.  She never had anxiety before my leukemia diagnoses in 2015.  Now it’s getting bad again with MDS diagnoses of 2018.  She is having problems dealing with it.  She has taken Clonazepam (her own prescription) that is heling a little, she has a journal as well (similar to my blog, but she doesn’t share it with anyone but me).  I wish I didn’t keep bringing anxiety into her life.  Hopefully this is the last time.


I should be finishing getting ready for the trip, but instead I am watching the Greatest Royal Rumble on the WWE Network.  For some reason they decided to start it at 11am Central Time on a Friday.  A bit weird for WWE programming, but it’s creating a nice diversion.  And really, I did need a good diversion today.


Heh, they were still pounding on my neighbors roof by the time Teresa got home after 6.  That means it took them like 11 hours to reroof my neighbor’s home.  UGH, just kinda sucked to be me yesterday.  I should’ve went somewhere, but hindsight is 20/20 and I just lived with it.  My stupidity.


Made a deal with my oncologist (Dr. Wehbe), next Tuesday if my platelets are close to the cut off for an infusion (which they will be), he will order me a 6pack of platelets.  This came about because I don’t want to have to go to the ER in the Region to get an infusion a few days later or worse be really sick on the way up to Rochester.  So I should be getting an infusion of platelets Tuesday afternoon or Wednesday.


I did pack all my important D&D books, and a few notebooks, my big Skyrim book, and most of my computer paraphernalia (headset, gamepad, charging cables, etc…).  All of that went into my little suitcase.  I tried to fit all that in a smaller case, but it wasn’t going to happen.  So, I will make room for the little suitcase in the Dart.


We’ve been playing Pokémon Go every evening.  Pucky and Mojo love to go for the ride.  And Teresa and I just go around town and catch what we can and visit all the Pokestops and Pokegyms.  We may not be the highest level players in Adel, but we are tenacious, so basically if we see a gym, we take a gym.  I am, however, almost out of healing, so we need to visit a bunch of Pokestops tonight.  Tonight or tomorrow I will finally be ready to upgrade my Magikarp to Gyarados, just a week or so behind Teresa.


I just have to interject here.  The ladder match at the Greatest Royal Rumble was insane.  4 of my favorite wrestlers going at it.  An incredible finish.   Yup.  Impressive stuff.


Just got word that May 17th is confirmed as the date barring something horrific happening to my donor between now and then.  So, in other words, it’s a definite go.  Heh, was kind of sort of hoping it would be pushed off another month or so.  But in reality, this transplant has to happen as soon as possible, so the May 17th is all good.


I think I am going to cut this off now.  At least my ramble ended on a good note.


Author: Jeff Campbell

I am 50 year old guy, who beat blood cancer but is getting his butt kicked by bone marrow cancer. At this point it appears I am dying. Married and in love with the most wonderful woman in the world (27 years). She has stood by me thru a lot of crap and I love her so.

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