Mood still pretty good. Not letting things get into my head. I sometimes can shut the crap out that is gonna cause problems. That is what I am doing now. It doesn’t always work, but when it does it’s nice.
I slept funky last night even with the Ambien. I kept waking up. Has to be stress related. Can’t do anything about things right now, so stress settles in at night and the anxiety hits. I couldn’t nap today either, although I am plenty tired enough to.
199 pounds. That is my goal weight and that is where I sit right now. Exactly at 199. Not 200, not 198… 199. I told Teresa I wanted to be under 200 pounds and I keep edging above that line and then dropping back down. I like 199. I hope I can stay around that mark for the long run.
Yeah, I wrote chapters 13+14 in my book and they don’t read as smooth as 1-12. It’s like a different author sat down and wrote the new chapters. It almost has to be the remains of chemo brain having an affect on my writing. You can have problems with chemo brain for up to 2 years after you finish chemo. I’m not even at a year yet. Sucks, but that is how it is.
Taste of New York was a winner in our house last night. Teresa really liked her Pepperoni Calzone and my Mega-Meat Pizza was delicious. Taste of New York will definitely be on the list of places Teresa goes to after Wal-Mart grocery runs. Gives us variety as opposed to always Panda Express.
Tonight is my first night gaming in Jason’s game. Alonzo is ready, except his background, I’ll write it sometime. It’s gonna be weird playing again, I haven’t played since Danny’s debacle and before that it was a LONG time. Should be easier than riding a bike. Should be able to get into the groove fairly quickly. Alonzo should be a fun character to play. I am excitedly nervous. We start at 6pm my time.
Tuesday is restart night from the long hiatus. The party is in for a big surprise. I can’t tell you what it is, cuz several of the players read this blog now. It’s just gonna be a different sort of adventure. They’re gonna have a chance to be heroes or at least more well respected in the city. LOL. I’ll tell you all about it on Wednesday.
Next week Sunday we start the level 3 adventure. I still have no clue what I am gonna do with them. I got a week and a few days to come up with something. I will too. I’ve spent so much time getting Tuesday ready that Sunday has been put to the wayside. And Sunday will be the first adventure, so it has to be good. Oh well, I got my work cut out for me I guess.
Cori is working on getting her game ready for Wednesday nights. At least she said she was, but she still has real life things that she has to take care of, so there might be more of a delay. Oh well, I can wait.
OK seriousness here, with my blood stats dropping, things have gotten real again. I may not survive. There is only so much modern medicine can do for MDS/AML. And then they give you the ,”There is nothing more we can do for you” speech. I guess I am ready whichever way things turn out. Nothing will happen right away, if I am gonna die, it will be a lingering thing, not years, but long enough. I will know more about things after the Feb 6th results which will be available the end of Feb. I’m just babbling about this now. I don’t want to die and I certainly don’t want to suffer before I die. I wish I believed in God. It would be comforting to have a higher up to talk to. But then I would just blame him for the MDS/AML anyway, so probably better that I don’t believe in him.
But anyhow, I have an inkling of a plan for the future if I do survive. Teresa would have to get on board. And I would need help. But that is in the future. Just note that today I have announced I have an idea.