Up and down the joys of bipolar

Yesterday evening turned into a big ball of depression.  I hate Bipolar and I hate cycling.  By night it was better.  The depression only lasted a couple hours but it was bad, real bad.  Been going thru mood swings a lot since finding out my blood stats dropped.  I wish it was the end of February already so I would know.  February 6th is just a stepping stone to getting the information we need.  The real information we need will come between February 20th and 27th.  Gods, please don’t make me cycle for that whole time.  That would suck.


Today, so far, I am doing pretty good.  I slept in til 11:30am after going to be at 10:30pm.   So 13 hours last night.  Yeah, it goes totally against what I tell Dr. Alkhateeb, but I like to sleep.  After I got up I weighed myself, 197, was pleasantly surprised.  Ate some pulled pork and Hawaiian rolls for breakfast, only went to 197.8.  Yeah, buddy.  I will figure out this weight thing if it kills me (but it’ll have to take a number to do that).


Teresa thinks it is weird that I drink my Gatorade room temperature.  Back when I was getting chemo before the transplant, I started gagging and dry heaving water.  So, Jon, one of the nurses suggested Gatorade.  Worked like a charm.  So I started drinking a lot of Gatorade.  At first I wanted it cold, but then I found that I liked the flavors better room temperature.  So I have been drinking them that way for about 4 months now.  I think Teresa just found out.


I’m excited for the game on Tuesday night.  We have been on break for way too long.  It’s all good though, I have Tuesday night all planned out.  The party is going to be ask to do a mission in the Hole proper and its gonna take them just about everywhere in the Hole.  In case you don’t know, the Hole is a city that was built by the dwarves in an extinct volcano.  Anyhow, the party will traipse all over the Hole and it should be a good time.


Next Sunday I still haven’t figured out what to do yet.  Very unlike me to be so wishy-washy, but it comes with my cycling.  I will think of something between now and then.  I always come up with something.  Its not always good, but its something.


I look forward to Friday night and trying Jason’s game again.  Hopefully not getting sick this time.  It was a lot of fun until I overheated.  I put a fan over by my gaming computer just in case.


I’ve been trying to read the Cypher Rulebook for the last few days.  I am getting nowhere fast, my mind won’t calm down enough to allow me to read.  I decided to try to read the Cypher book because the Call of Cthulhu book is such heavy reading.  So many rules.  Cypher is supposed to let you create whatever genre you want to, and like I said before, I want super heroes.


I’m also trying to learn web development thru Udemy.  I bought the course during a manic over a year ago.  Might as well get use out of it.  I think I paid 10 bucks for the course.  The guy who made it is really sharp and knew what he was doing.  So, hopefully, where I can’t read, maybe watching a video and listening will work.  I really want to learn web development.  I mean, I can make a simple webpage now.  But I want a dynamic webpage with a form and a searchable database and a forum and a storefront of sorts.  I want to build all of that myself.


That is for inkling of an idea.  Just a bunch of thoughts right now.  Nothing truly to talk about yet.  Won’t be anything to seriously talk about until after I find out the results of the biopsy.  If they are bad, there will never be anything to talk about, if they are good, I will probably be ready to make an announcement out of this inkling of an idea.  But right now, it’s just what I said it was… a bunch of thoughts.


Author: Jeff Campbell

I am 49 year old guy, who beat blood cancer but is getting his butt kicked by bone marrow cancer. At this point it appears I am dying. Married and in love with the most wonderful woman in the world (27 years). She has stood by me thru a lot of crap and I love her so.

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