not sleeping cycling and no Scotland

I slept 1 1/2 hours “last night” and napped for 1 hour today.  I am a wiped out zombie today.  So tired, but couldn’t get back to sleep.  I even took an Ambien last night and didn’t sleep.  Anxiety must be really building up in me and I just didn’t realize it.  Well, if I don’t nap again this afternoon (which I will probably try) I am sure to sleep well tonight.  Body needs to sleep, anxiety can screw itself.


Well, I am still cycling.  Mentally I am all messed up.  I go from happy happy to doom and gloom depressed in the matter of a couple hours and then go back a couple hours after that.  I haven’t cycled like this in a long time.  I forgot how crappy cycling is.  Seriously, I haven’t cycled down is so long, depressions suck the life out of you, and for me the way I cycle, 2 hours after being in a serious depression I am bouncing off the walls happy.  This sucks.


Speaking of things that suck, my brother and I are not going to Scotland in October.  With a 4 to 6 month chemo run coming up, I won’t be in any shape to walk around Scotland in October.  Heck, I may still be getting chemo in October.  Anyhow, I decided to call it off for this year because of the chemo schedule.  Cancer wins again.  SUCKAGE.  I really wanted to go.


So, mom is coming to visit again in March I believe.  She said she would come after I get my results.  Since I probably won’t have the results until the 27th of February, March is a good time for her to come.  We are set up for her and/or Jim to come any time now.  I hope they take advantage of our offer to come anytime.  Especially since I can’t go see them now cuz of their cats.  I can’t visit anyone who has cats for a long time.


I bought a different Web Development course on Udemy.  I didn’t like the instructor really in the first course I tried.  So, this one is taught by a woman.  I have always learned better from women.  So far the course has just covered the basics of what is the internet but it was presented in a really nice way.  It’s a regular 199.00 course, I got it for 11.99.  40 hours of instruction.  I am thru about an hour of it, I would be doing it today, but I am too tired to think straight.


Nest, our smoke alarm and carbon monoxide detector just did a self test, a few beeps, and the dogs are going nuts.  Maybe, they are done barking, sounds like they are done barking.  Nope, Mojo hasn’t given up.  Heh, they came when I called, must not have been a big threat.  And the dogs are back to sleep.


It is supposed to snow again tomorrow.  We didnt get the 5 to 11 inches on Friday, maybe we will get the 1 to 3 inches on Tuesday.  I wonder what the amount is we are supposed to get next Friday.   Yeah, we are supposed to get a little snow every couple of days.  Yay rah, just enough where Gordy, our neighbor, gets out the snow blower and clears our driveway and the sidewalk as required by law.  Everyone should have a Gordy as a neighbor, he’s a heck of a nice guy.


I broached the subject of my inkling of an idea with some folks on twitter.  They were highly receptive to the idea.  Heh, market research!?!?!?!  Need a lot more than a few people on board before my inkling becomes anything more than an inkling.  And I need to get a webpage up which  means I really need to go thru the web development course on Udemy.  But for now, it’s an inkling and will stay an inkling, not spending any more than 11.99 on this inkling at this time.  I have to survive this MDS crap so my inkling can have life.  Yup, that’s exactly what I have to do.


Author: Jeff Campbell

I am 50 year old guy, who beat blood cancer but is getting his butt kicked by bone marrow cancer. At this point it appears I am dying. Married and in love with the most wonderful woman in the world (27 years). She has stood by me thru a lot of crap and I love her so.

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