It’s cold and bipolar sucks

It’s getting colder as we speak.  The predicted low is -11.  Its 8 right now.  Tomorrow I think the high is supposed to be 2 and next week is just supposed to be worse.  COLD, bitter cold is in the forecast.  I plan to stay indoors as much as possible and hope it warms up a little for our trip to Mayo on February 6th and that is doesn’t snow for it either.

Had problems staying asleep last night.  Woke up at 2:30 and was wide awake.  Had to wake Teresa to get another Melatonin.  Yes, I had taken Restoril before going to bed, so this was weird.  So with Melatonin in my system I was asleep again within a half hour or so.  Strange that I woke so wide awake in the middle of the night.

I’m still not cycling, which is great.  I love my life when I am not doing crazy stuff or thinking about ending it.  Yeah, bipolar sucks.  Luckily for me, I normally don’t cycle very often.  When I go manic though, watch out.  But beyond that, I stay pretty happy mellow.  And that is the mood I like to stay in.

I am still doing that web development course on Udemy.  Getting bogged down with CSS.  For some reason its not coming as easy to me as HTML did.  Took me 2 days to fix my external CSS stylesheet, but I did it dammit, and that is the important part.  And  I have learned how to create the little icon next to a webpage name, which is a totally useless feat, but I can do it now.  The next part of the class is going to be really tough for me I think.  But I will persevere and get thru the class and be more educated for it.  I think in her (the instructor) desire to keep it at 40 hours she skipped some stuff, but it could  just be me delving into the unknown.

My computer just informed me that I am low on disk space on my drive C.  Duh, I knew that, I just didn’t realize I was less than 10gig.  I will have to fix that.  Move some junk around and all.  No biggie, just annoying.  There I got over 20gig free, hey, its only a 100gig drive.

The Fireplace guy came out and lit the Fireplace pilot light.  Duh.  Didnt even think to check that.  Well, he was here for about 15 minutes, cost us 74 dollars and change, and I think it was worth it.  Teresa sat out there for hours last night.  I forgot just how warm it makes the living room when the fireplace is going and how cold it makes the bedroom.

I’m not anxious at all about the actual bone marrow biopsy, I have had so many, it is no big deal now.  And Mayo gives me the option (which I take) to be put under for the procedure, which is much nicer that Mercy and there lay on the table we’ll give you some drugs.  Sleeping thru it for the win.  I’ll be sore and not want to sit for a few days, but other than that its nothing to be concerned about.

I am and will be totally anxious as hell waiting for the results.  And because they do a chromosomal level of results it takes weeks instead of days.  So, I am HOPING to have the results by the 20th but realistically looking at the 27th.  I am gonna tell Dr. Alkhateeb to call me with the results instead of making us come back in a few weeks.  He won’t like it, but driving up there in the winter sucks, especially if its for bad news.

I had a couple people recently ask about my party/dinner.  It has been cancelled because I will be in chemo most of the summer and will not have the energy to party.  Nothing personal to anyone but I don’t want to pay for a party and then fall asleep a quarter of the way thru.

My idea is exploding in my head.  Lots and lots of ideas and inklings converging into one idea.  Probably the best idea I have had in a long time.  And it’s not gonna cost a whole lot (which will make Teresa happy).  My ideas normally end up costing a whole lot.  This one, not so much if I do all the web work myself (which is the plan).  Then I have to talk to this guy, and these people, and so forth and so on.  But it all still hinges on the results of the bone marrow biopsy.  Bad results equal squashed idea.  Good results equal idea becomes a reality.  Simple as that.

Author: Jeff Campbell

I am 50 year old guy, who beat blood cancer but is getting his butt kicked by bone marrow cancer. At this point it appears I am dying. Married and in love with the most wonderful woman in the world (27 years). She has stood by me thru a lot of crap and I love her so.

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