And so I slept and I feel considerably better

I slept.  I slept last night, I slept this morning.  I slept.  I slept from 10:45pm to 6:45am, which is by my recollection 8 hours, then I napped from 8am to 10am, which is 2 more and let me tell you it felt great.  Maybe I had some kind of virus that I am finally over.  Would make sense, 2 weeks of not sleeping well, then bam sleeping like I normally do.  I’m not quite awake yet, but I think I feel better too.  Almost definitely a virus.  Still going to go see Chris (the PA) cuz I still think I have a slight sinus infection and I would like to get Restoril just in case my sleep goes totally wonky again.


206.8 pounds after breakfast.  That is a great weight for me.  Yeah, I won’t normally post my weight if I eat breakfast before writing my blog, but hey, it’s a good weight anyway.  So you guys get to see it.  I’m really happy with my weight.  I feel good about it.  Heh, even at 180 (which I was at for quite a while) I had a gut and a 2nd chin, so no matter what I weigh, I will always look a little heavier.  That’s fine with me, I don’t care, it’s me, take me as I am or bugger off.


We lost Edward in Aravas.  He got a job at Wendy’s and couldn’t commit to the game.  Totally understandable, but a total bummer for him.  Had his replacement waiting in the wings so to speak.  David B was raring to go, had his making a character before I got Edward to quit.  LOL.  David B is a solid player, and we are replacing Edward’s Paladin of anti-evilness for David’s Paladin of Peace.  He is pro-peace and will beat the snot out of anyone who breaks said peace.  He will fit well with this party. So, it’s all good there.  We should resume play next Tuesday.


Now that I am feeling somewhat better, I should be able to come up with what to do with Neven.  As of right this minute, I haven’t come up with a plan.  They are level 4, same as Aravas, but where I have a huge open canvas for Aravas, I painted myself in a corner with Neven.  It’s alright, I got the rest of today, tomorrow and Friday till 6pm to think of something.  I’ve had less time to come up with something before and probably will again.  It’s all good, just have to remember these “kids” like roleplay.


I have thought about it an thought about it, there is no way I will make my brother’s summer party.  And that sucks.  It is scheduled just too close to my last and strongest dose of stem cells.  I am going to be in GvHD hell.  Trust me when I say I would rather be at my brother’s party.  But it’s just a timing issue, nothing we can do about it.  Jim doesn’t want to do it in July cuz it’ll compete with 4th of July and his party will lose.  So, I will miss another summer party due to being sick, there have been a lot of those since they started.  But next year I will be there.


It’s weird seeing Jay tooling around in our old white car.  It hasn’t moved in like 5 years.  But apparently Jay fixed whatever the problem was and is enjoying driving it.   More power to him.  It was a good car for us, I hope it’s a good care for him.


Teresa shaved my head and beard last night.   I look respectable again.  She shaves my head to a 2 and my beard to a 1.  The thickness of my beard at my chin make me look like I meant to do something, but it looks good, so that is what matters.  The gray in my beard even looks good.  If it wasn’t for the bags under my eyes and the double chin, I think I’d be a decent looking guy.


I’m afraid to talk to Teresa about school.  There, I admitted it.  She is going to be all NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.  And I am going to be I WANT TO TRY ONE LAST TIME.   And she’ll be that is what you said last time.   I will be no, that is what YOU said last time.  We won’t fight about it, we never fight.  We will have a civil discussion about it, but by the time we are done, I will feel like crap about the idea of going to school.  Won’t mean I won’t try, just means I will feel bad about it, and that is not how I want to approach school.  Of all my tries at DMACC, I have never cost us a penny.  So, Teresa can’t get on me about money, and the loans when I am done, the monthly payment will be less than my extra money from disability.  So, I don’t know what her argument will be.   Except that every time I fail it’s because it thru me into a manic.  Yeah, that’s a problem.  But maybe this time I won’t fail.  I chose a subject that I am really interested in (well 2 really) and think I can do it.  Last time shouldn’t be held against me, I was sick (we didn’t know it at the time) and tried too much online over the summer.  SCARY.  Freaked me out totally reading the syllabuses.  This time I am starting in the Fall, taking all my classes (but 1) exclusively in the classroom.  The weird one is web blended, partially in the classroom, partially online.  With my major, 95% of the classes are in classroom.  So, it’s all good.  My tentative schedule rocks.  I am so happy with it.  I just hope I can convince my loving wife to let me do it.


Maybe I will find a new shrink, one that doesn’t require  me to be in therapy.   I don’t need or want therapy anymore.  But I would like a shrink to help me deal with the mania that comes from school.  Yeah, I’ll get on that later today, after I see Chris.  They actually have meds for mania now, so perhaps I might try one of those.  I just have to find a young shrink who doesn’t require therapy who is on top of the medicine scene who will allow me to stay on nimodipine as my mood-stabilizer.  LOL, yeah right.  Well, I am gonna try, I think.


Author: Jeff Campbell

I am 49 year old guy, who beat blood cancer but is getting his butt kicked by bone marrow cancer. At this point it appears I am dying. Married and in love with the most wonderful woman in the world (27 years). She has stood by me thru a lot of crap and I love her so.

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