We didn’t go out last night, I wasn’t feeling up to it and Teresa was tired. We spent the evening together, it was nice. Teresa made Chicken Fajitas which were wonderful and we talked a lot. We talked about Ridgecrest and what it was like when we first got together (February 15-17, 1992, although technically we met and I was already in love with her before that weekend). We talked about the choice not to have kids. We talked about books, and various things. We just enjoyed each other’s company. 26 years is a long time, I wouldn’t have wanted to spend them with anyone else.
I did NOT get 8 hours of sleep last night. I got somewhere around 6. Depressing. I went to bed at 10:30 with the greatest of intentions but sleep failed me. Oh, well, technically I fell asleep pretty quick, but was awake again by midnight and I know I saw 2 before falling back asleep. I do not know why my sleep is so messed up. It’s annoying. Got to get it fixed before school starts, can’t be taking big naps during class. For some reason, Professor’s don’t like that.
205.8 was the first reading on the scale this morning, but the recheck said 260. Either weight I am pretty happy with. Well within my goal weight range. Can’t ask for much more than that.
Today is the day I plan to start learning to draw. Yep, I got all my drawing supplies gatherer up, and I am gonna go step by step in the book I bought called Beginners Guide to Learning to Draw or something like that. It has 5* on Amazon so it should be good, right? The first thing it says though is do not sharpen your drawing pencils in a pencil sharpener, but use a crafting nice to cut a finer point. Hmm, I don’t own a crafting knife, but I do own a really nice pencil sharpener. Oh well, I am off the book already. LOL. Well, if that is the only thing that I am off on, I’ll be drawing in no time. I thought about doing a video on Udemy, but after the fiasco that was Web Development, I am leery to give them more money.
I think Danny still only has 4 for his new campaign, I tried asking him last night but I think he fell asleep and slept until right before I started writing this blog. If he did, good for him, his sleep problems make mine look like no problem.
I tried to answer one of the calls from Algona, IA yesterday, but I had my Airpods in and couldn’t answer the phone in time. They hand up after 3 rings, weird. They don’t wait for voicemail. I will try to answer it today, I’m curious to know who or what it is. I mean I am sure it’s a robocall, but what’s it for. Political probably.
School Anxiety is a real thing for me. A very real thing. And it has set in already. This is gonna be a long 4 1/2 months. But I can handle it. Yes I can. It’s nothing that millions of people don’t do without issues. Why shouldn’t I be able to do it? Yeah, I have failed entirely too many times before, but I also have a few successes in there. Cerro Coso, I completed History 111 and 112 one summer, not only completed but got As. Cerro Coso, I completed the EMT course, with septic pneumonia, and get and A. See, I do have some successes. I CAN do this, damn the anxiety.
My tentative schedule looks good. No semesters over 15 credit hours except the 1st. And that is because of the stupid Student Development class making it 16 credit hours. I even have some 12 credit hour semesters towards the end. I have to take it to my advisor and have ok it, at least the start of it. I think I have to do that between orientation and registration. Plus I have to go get a 3rd student ID. I will look to see if #2 is in the desk drawer, but I think Teresa threw it away. So, sometime soon, with GvHD and all, I will be making a trip up to DMACC, it’s unavoidable.
Right now, I am anxious, but I am also looking forward to my 5+ year plan. Yep, the 49 year old Freshman, will be graduating the final time in Fall 2024. It’ll make my mom happy. Still probably won’t get me a job. Still got that mania issue with working for someone else. Mania ruins everything.
But at least I technically have a new shrink. A shrink who knows I take Nimodipine as a mood stabilizer. I spelled that out very clear on the intake form. Anyhow, in 6 to 8 weeks, minus a day, I will receive a phone call from them saying when my appointment is. Go in and introduce myself to said new shrink (I don’t remember his name) and say give me my meds please, don’t try to dink with anything. Oh btw, do you have anything specifically for mania cuz I am about to hit school and I don’t want to hurt anyone. Yeah, something for mania would be a good thing.
I’m coming off hydrocortisone. Hydrocortisone is a steroid they gave me to give me energy and make me eat. The eating part I have down good. The energy part I am having problems with. I am very fatigued almost all the time. They (the endocrinologists at Mayo) are going to have to come up with another solution cuz you can’t stay on steroids forever. Another health issue I have to deal with at Mayo before school starts.
Stem Cell infusion #1 is in 9 days. I do not want to do these infusions. I do not want GvHD again and again. Dr. Alkhateeb says they’ll help extend my life. Teresa says if Dr. Alkhateeb says I need them, then I should get them. I trust both of these people. Teresa more than the doctor. So I’m gonna go thru with the 1st one at least. But lets review acute GvHD… Rash, mouth sores, stomach issues with or without massive diarrhea, nausea and hepatitis. But that’s not all, I get to play the chronic GvHD roulette again too, that includes…Most responses are confined to skin, soft tissue, oral mucosa and occasionally liver, Hardening of skin as well as more dry skin, soft tissues, your eyes, I can go blind, oral mucosa, like desert dry mouth, complete liver failure. The article I was reading goes on to talk about med-resistant bronchitis and death. Gee, what a lovely picture I painted there. Yeah, can I pick rash and dry skin again PLEASE. So, this is what I am facing in the immediate future. All for maybe a year or two extra, I don’t follow the logic as to why I should do this except Teresa says I should.