Anxiety + Lethargy = Odd Mix

We went out last night instead of our anniversary night.  We had waffle fries and Teresa got Dairy Queen.  The food was good, the music was good, the company was good, it was all good.   Then we came home and watched Aquaman.  Not sure if I liked it or not, Hated Amber Heard’s deep read hair.  But the acting was good I guess, and there was a solid, decent story line, so I guess I did sort of like it.  Sub-Mariner’s movie comes out some time this year, it’ll be interesting what Marvel does with the Prince of Atlantis.  And for the record Prince Namor outdates Aquaman by several years.

I only dozed off 3 times during Aquaman, and no long dozes, just nod-off spring back awake.  But I was asleep by 9:45 and slept till 6:45.  So I got my 8+ hours.  I feel pretty good overall this morning, just kind of dragging like I have been for the last couple weeks.  So, in all likelihood I will be taking a nap today.  LOL, I will definitely be taking at least one nap today.

The dragging is from tapering off the hydro-cortisone.  They put me on it originally cuz I had no energy and wasn’t eating.   Well, I am eating just fine now, that’s one thing.  But with coming off the med I am losing energy fast.  When I take 2 naps during a day and still want to go to bed at 6 o’clock, something is definitely wrong.  I think I will send Jennifer (the endocrinologist at Mayo) a message about this,  I thought it might be temporary so I didn’t say anything, but if anything it’s getting worse.  And worse is definitely not the goal.  The object is to get me back to normal, which is able to function during the day and not being a zombie in the evening.

The scale says 206.6 today.

I went to learn to start to learn to draw yesterday and found out that I was short some supplies, their list wasn’t complete.  So 31 more dollars worth of art supplies are on the way, will be here on Friday.  Then I will get to start attempting to draw.  Heh, I needed a ruler for straight edges, wasn’t on the list, didn’t get it on first go.  Coming on second.  I hate when they give you a list and then spell out more stuff you need over the next few pages.  I stopped at buying a light box, Will worry about it later if it turns out I really need one.

Danny still has 4 people for his campaign and he needs 5.  He is trying to get all of them from Nerds in the Basement, a Facebook group of dedicated vetted players.  Somehow flakey me go invited in.  Anyhow, we are supposed to start in a little over 2 weeks, he needs to get cracking on finding player #5.  And he needs to get the game up on roll20 so we can put our characters in.  Not to tell him how to run his game, but it takes me 2 weeks to figure out anything on roll20.

I did it, I answered the call from Algona, IA.  It wasn’t a robo-call, it was lady trying to find out if I was in school yet.  Didn’t catch the company name, but she talked about 9000 miles per hour and I could hardly understand much of what she said.  So I hung up on her.  I do not think I will be getting calls from Algona, IA again, at least not from her.

This time next week, we will be at Mayo.  The 11th is just appointments to get me prepared for the stem cell infusions.   The 12th is when it all happens.  After yesterday’s meltdown about GvHD I feel a lot better.  Yes, bad things can happen, but bad things can happen any day to anyone, so heh, I’ll be ok.  No sense worrying about it before hand, just gonna deal with whatever comes. That’s all I can do.

I am waiting for a letter from DMACC that contains information on Orientation.  It’s supposed to come sometime the middle of April.  I know its not the middle of April, but I am still waiting.  That letter will get me closer to my eventual goal.  After online orientation, I have to drive up to the college to meet with my adviser before I can register.  Which is the eventual short term goal.

Note to self:  You need to get up there before 1pm to get your college ID picture taken.  AFTER you register.  So make the appointment with adviser early in the day.

OK, so if I go to school for 5 years and 1 semester, I will be 54 when I graduate the final time.  I probably won’t be the oldest graduating person, there is always a grandma going to community college.  But I will be in the top 5 oldest I bet.

School for me, if I can do it this time, will be to give me something to do during these long boring days when I got nothing else to really do.  I’m bored with the computer games I have and nothing new coming out looks exciting to me.  I was writing a book, but I am stuck on where to go with it.  I seem to have wrote a love story between an Orc and an Elf which would NEVER happen in fantasy, and they’d have the ugliest babies.  So, I have to go back and rework a bunch of what I have written.  I was gonna start a company, but that feel threw.  All these things just to have something to do besides surf Facebook and Twitter, and to write this blog.

Today I don’t fell as anxious about school.  I think it’s the imminence of the Mayo trip overpowering it.  But not being overly anxious about school is a good thing.  Gives me a clearer head to think about it.  Right this minute, I could do it.  I could attend class.  And not be manicy about it.  Lethargy trumps mania.  No, not quite.  Just my mind is in the right subset, I could be a student today.  Unfortunately I am over 4 months early.  Ask me again on August 15th how I feel about school, I think you’ll get a completely different answer.


Author: Jeff Campbell

I am 50 year old guy, who beat blood cancer but is getting his butt kicked by bone marrow cancer. At this point it appears I am dying. Married and in love with the most wonderful woman in the world (27 years). She has stood by me thru a lot of crap and I love her so.

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