At least physically I feel better

Physically I am feeling a lot better.  Hip doesn’t hurt from the bone marrow biopsy anymore, shoulders are good from the immunization shots, the ick feeling that came with the immunization shots is finally gone, my knee feels mostly normal again, and I have stopped the mouth/facial twitching, so it’s all good.   Everything physical that I had to complain about has righted itself at least to the point where I can’t or won’t complain about it anymore (right now).   So, this may end up being a really short blog entry because I really don’t have a whole lot to say.

This depression is starting to eat at me.  I am not doing anything to fight it.  It’s too overwhelming.  It’s not a particularly horrible depression, just a make Hectic a complete and utter waste of a human being with no desire to do much of anything depression.  All that I want to do all day every day is play Skyrim.  I forget to eat.  It’s not that I am obsessed with Skyrim, it’s just that it gives me an outlet to kill virtual things that isn’t an MMO and I really need that right now.  Teresa gives me a list of things to do every day, I am lucky if I get one item off the list done.  I hate feeling like this, depressions are definitely worse than hypomania.

Skyrim:  Well, I hit level 50 with my Khajitt the other day.  Got the big achievement for it.  I got it while doing Dawnguard missions.  So, killing vampires and collecting anti-vampire weaponry that I couldn’t use (my Khajitt uses 2 swords, so far a got a Warhammer and a Shield).  But it’s all good, lot’s of fun.  I’m taking a break with her though.  51 levels and started to feel a little burn out.

So, I started a new High Elf Summoner Mage.  So far I am having fun with her.  Summon Sword makes her a melee person, she doesn’t have much armor though, so she casts her magic armor before wading in.  Need more magicka though, which means I need more levels, which means I need to play her longer.  But it’s all good, so far she is kicking butt andd not bothering to take names.  I stopped leveling her at level 9, probably has stored up enough experience to be level 12 now and is about to get a bunch more building her first house.  After she builds her house I will apply the level up.  I just didn’t want to worry about Daedra’s Best Friend quest yet which starts in Falkreath at level 10.

My weight fluctuates between 206 and 208.  I can handle that.  I just don’t want to weight 210 or more.  Personal preference.  I still have my gut and my double chin, had those at 180 lbs.  My metabolism changed with the stem cell transplant.  Changed for the better I would say.  26 pounds less than what I weighed going into the transplant a year later.  That is a good thing.   I don’t recommend getting cancer as a diet plan, but I do say I get to look at it as a silver lining.

I’m supposed to get a blood test this week, but I just don’t feel up to going to Dr. Wehbe’s office and having lab work.   I don’t feel up to going anywhere.   Dr. Alkhateeb will just have to understand.  My numbers were not that far off to warrant a freak out.  Dr. Alkhateeb also wanted me to go see a pulmonologist, yeah, right, like that is going to happen.  So Dr. Alkhateeb is going to hear NO for the first time since we met.   I wonder how that is going to go over.  Not well I would guess.

It’s supposed to get up near 90 degrees here today.  At least that was according to the weather last night.  Looking to tie or break records.   Yeah, buddy.  Going to be a hot one.

Author: Jeff Campbell

I am 50 year old guy, who beat blood cancer but is getting his butt kicked by bone marrow cancer. At this point it appears I am dying. Married and in love with the most wonderful woman in the world (27 years). She has stood by me thru a lot of crap and I love her so.

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