Feeling a little bit better

I woke up at 4am this morning unable to fall back asleep.  Teresa says its directly tied to my depression…  she said I went through the same depression cycle last Spring (I do not remember this, but that’s not new or surprising) and slept for crap.  Took Restoril for two weeks and BOOM my mood improved.  Took Restoril 2 nights ago, got up at 5:15am yesterday.  Forgot to take it last night.  So midnight to 4am is the sleep I got.  So, I am going to start the 2 week Restoril cycle over tonight.  Need sleep, need to break this depression, willing to try just about anything at this point.


My mood has actually already improved a little bit.  I am willing to go out of my house for the first time in roughly 3 weeks.  Next Tuesday (I think) we are going to the movies or so I think I will be able to go and have agreed to it.   A week ago, I wouldn’t have agreed to going out any time.  So, my mood is better but not right or well.  I’ll take the better and run with it.  Maybe I will just slide out of this depression on my own.  Especially if it’s Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), it becomes just a time thing, when it is time for it to be over… it’s over and mood gets better.


My cough has gotten A LOT better on Prilosec.  So, I am pretty sure that my cough is being caused by reflux.  I cough primarily about 10-20 minutes after I eat.  Beyond that, I cough sporadically but not often or much.  So, I am gonna write Dr. Alkhateeb and try to get out of the breathing function testing and the pulmonologist.  Dr. Teresa (ok, she isn’t a doctor, but she knows my sicknesses well) diagnosed this one, and treated it successfully.


This morning’s scale reading was 205.6.  Back down into the 205ish range.  Color me happy, that is where I want to be.  Even after eating a big dinner (pizza and breadsticks) I only went up to 206.4.  Yeah, it might be time to buy me jeans that actually fit so I don’t have to crank the belt quite so tight in order to hold up my 234lbs jeans.  205-209 is where I seem to be sitting at and this makes me happy.   I have only went over 210 once, and that was weird circumstances that I do not wish to talk about.  Yup, if I stay at 205-209 for another 2 months, I am getting new jeans that fit.


I still don’t feel up to running or playing Dungeons and Dragons or any role playing game online right now.   I hope my players found other games to fill the void that my departure from gaming caused.  The only person I would be willing to play a game for would be Cori.  If she told me she was finally going to run her first campaign, I would play.  I’m sure I would also enjoy myself while playing too.


SKYRIM:  I spent most of today playing a dagger wielding pure rogue/assassin, but I tried to jack of all trades her and screwed up really bad.  So, like 11 hours of playing was for nothing.  I deleted all the saves for her.   Going to retry the dagger wielding rogue/assassin again though, I was having a lot of fun until I realized I screwed up so bad.

All my other characters are currently on hiatus.   I have no desire to bring thing back just yet.  So, the 6 remaining achievements that I do not have will remain un-gotten for now.  Not that I won’t ever go back to any of them… I just like the first part of the game more than the later parts.   Heh, it is like me playing World of Warcraft where I had a new character every week or so.  Skyrim is a new character every day or two.  It happens.


Mayo is next Friday.  Somehow our “Don’t start things until 10am” turned into a 7:30am start time. I am going to try to get out of the really early morning stuff.  I DO NOT NEED another Pulmonary Function Test, especially not at 7:30am.  It’ll totally make my day miserable.

Get rid of that.  Get rid of seeing the pulmonologist.  Get rid of seeing the shrink, at least that appointment isn’t with the psychiatrist I don’t like.  But still I don’t need it.  Get rid of those 3 appointments, go back to how it was before and let us get there at 9 and out of there by 4.  I hate the 16 hour days for Mayo visits.

Yeah, I will write Dr. Alkhateeb tomorrow morning and hope someone gets back to me by tomorrow afternoon.   I don’t need these tests and appointments.  They are just an extra cost.  BLEH.


I will be in the Region June 21st 22nd and 23rd.  But really only available for the 22nd at my brother’s annual bbq party.   I will be too tired on the 21st and I leave too early on the 23rd, so I won’t be able to see anyone those days.


Author: Jeff Campbell

I am 49 year old guy, who beat blood cancer but is getting his butt kicked by bone marrow cancer. At this point it appears I am dying. Married and in love with the most wonderful woman in the world (27 years). She has stood by me thru a lot of crap and I love her so.

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