still down

Still feeling depressed, still nothing that can be done about it.  Sometimes I wish I was dead, and other I realize how hard I am fighting to stay alive.  No worries anyone, I am not suicidal in any way.  There is a difference in wishing and doing something about it.  I am nowhere near the do something about it stage.  I have fought too hard for too long to give it up now.  Besides, I have parties to plan.  One in May and one in August.  The May one might get bumped up a little, but the one on August 8th is in concrete.

My hemoglobin was 8.3 today, dropping .8 points since Monday.  Assuming it’s gonna drop another .8 before I get my next lab work next Monday, I will be in dangerous grounds.  Dr. Wehbe may or may not give me blood especially considering I see Dr. Alkhateeb on Wednesday.  But with a 7.5 and me feeling miserable enough, Dr. Wehbe just might want to give me blood.  Who knows?  I certainly don’t.

What I do know is that my platelets are going up still.  Not fast, but significantly.  They are 63 today, If I could get in, I could technically get me bad tooth removed.  But who knows what is gonna happen in a month?

this is probably the shortest blog I have written, not counting the ones I didn’t write at all.  I’ve got nothing more to say.

Author: Jeff Campbell

I am 50 year old guy, who beat blood cancer but is getting his butt kicked by bone marrow cancer. At this point it appears I am dying. Married and in love with the most wonderful woman in the world (27 years). She has stood by me thru a lot of crap and I love her so.

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