Sorry I seem to have missed a day

Sorry, I have been trying to write every other day and yesterday I just totally forgot.  So, I am writing this one at 6+am.

I haven’t been sleeping well.  Anxious about starting chemo next week.  It is the very last thing on my list of things I want to do.  But right now it is the best option for keeping me alive, and that is the goal.  So, I will be full of anxiety and hate every minute of it, but I will do the chemo thing and be pleasant to the nurses.  Always be pleasant to your nurses, they don’t make decisions that aren’t in your best interest, and are just following doctor’s orders.  Besides being nice to your nurses usually get reciprocated.

I saw Dr. Wehbe yesterday.  Still short, still sporting the bow tie.  He assured me the chemo being used on me is nothing to worry about.  (Heh, I am bipolar with anxiety, I live to worry about stuff like this).  Hearing the words from Dr. Wehbe helped though.  I trust Dr. Wehbe, probably more than I should.  And I trust Dr. Alkhateeb too, and this chemo is all his idea.  So, between the two of them, I am in good hands.

One of the lab people yesterday started talking about God to me.  Saying it was God who is keeping me alive.  I told her, nicely, that I don’t believe in God and don’t think God has anything to do with the situation.   Cuz if there is a God, he is a sick sadistic God.  I gave up on him years ago.  But anyhow, if he is your thing, then go for it.   I wouldn’t try to convince you my non-belief.  God exists for you, good for you then.

I still don’t know how I am supposed to die.  I just know that most who come out of remission with my cancer don’t live 6 months and I am considerably past that.  I keep forgetting to ask either of my doctors the question.  Teresa says I have asked Dr. Alkhateeb and he said I would get blasts in my blood to the point where I couldn’t have any normal blood in my system.  But that doesn’t compute right in my head.  So, I want to ask (again?) to find out the answer.  I want to know what to look out for.

I keep restarting in Skyrim: Special Edition.  I keep forgetting to do things at certain levels and realize it levels later, get pissed at myself and delete the character and start over.  I will eventually get my act together and play a character past level 26.  I just can’t decide what type of character I want as my main.  I am gonna try a sword wielding caster, sword in one hand and spells in the other.  Just have to pick a race for her.  Orc Hammer wielders level too slow.  Kajitt level fast, but I am getting bored of the same thing over and over.  I’ll figure it out.  It’s all good.

I believe the last of the stuff at my brother’s old house is being moved to my mom’s new house today.  Then the great unpacking begins for them.  Sure they have unpacked some.  It is just that there is so much still packed that it is going to take them a while to get everything out.  I wish them the best in this endeavor.  Moving sucks.

Author: Jeff Campbell

I am 50 year old guy, who beat blood cancer but is getting his butt kicked by bone marrow cancer. At this point it appears I am dying. Married and in love with the most wonderful woman in the world (27 years). She has stood by me thru a lot of crap and I love her so.

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