Anxiety and a lot of Gaming stuff

For some unknown reason I am totally freaking out about this coming Mayo visit on Thursday. I’ve been to Mayo countless times without any anxiety. I have done EXACTLY what I am going to be doing man times before without issue. So, yeah, I know there is the Corona Virus issue, but that is only causing minimal anxiety. I can directly pin this anxiety on just going to Mayo, just the thought of going is making me anxious. It’s very odd cause I do not get anxious about medical things. Well, I certainly hope that it is just in my head and not foreshadowing of something bad happening, because anything bad happening at Mayo would be tragic.


Every morning I wake up and cough for about an hour straight. This is normally sometime between 6 and 8am. During the week it is fine because Teresa is awake for work for most of the coughing, but on the weekends, I end up waking her up. Its annoying enough that she has bought earplugs to sleep in. I joke around that its all the coughing that I would have done during the night if I was awake coming out in the morning.


I am going to attempt to update AD&D 2e Spelljammer into a 5e Spelljammer. See, back in the early 90s TSR (the people that did own Dungeons and Dragons) cam up with idea of D&D characters in space. Back then I wasn’t into second edition AD&D so I didn’t get into Spelljammer. However, here is is 30 years later and its making a comeback and everyone except WotC (the company that now owns Dungeons and Dragons) are rushing to make a viable Spelljammer adaptation. Now I am interested in it, I own legal copies of all the pertinent books, I am going to tackle this adaptation too. Hey, time is something I have plenty of, if I stop sleeping quite as much, I’ll have tons of time.


Also I started reading the Chill RPG Version 3 rule book. I am about 65 pages in where it’s about character generation. Floods of memories are coming back from playing Version 1 back in the early-mid 80s. My god have I been doing this that long? Actually longer, 1978 I believe. I was young. Anyhow, it is a very well written book and I actually enjoying reading it. The plan is to finish reading the book (300+ pages) and then introduce it to the Friday Night Gang Gaming Server guys. I really think they’d get a kick out of the game. I know I said I wasn’t going to run on Friday nights, but this game is not nearly as complicated as Dungeons and Dragons. So it shouldn’t be so mentally taxing to get prepared. For me, mentally taxing becomes physically taxing. So, I should be ok to run Chill on Friday nights.


Tonight we are playing Jason’s Dungeons and Dragons Eberron game. I have been looking forward to actually getting in to the meat of his game and it is finally going to happen. Yeah,we are going to do a bunch of role playing at the start of the night, then we are gonna travel to the Mournlands and start the hunt for the big bad. I forget what he is called something of swords I think. But anyhow, its gonna take us several sessions to find the big bad and probably most of a session to actually get in and kill him. At least that is what I am assuming Jason is going to do. So, Chapter 2 of his game starts tonight. I missed practically all of chapter 1 cause he started during my dark period. But I will be there for all of chapter 2 and chapter 3. it’s all good.


I did cancel my Tuesday Night Dungeons and Dragons game this week because I am mentally freaking out and its just gonna get worse. I may end up cancelling on June 2nd too because then I will be freaking out waiting for the biopsy results. I always freak out waiting for the biopsy results. They take a week and its a week from Hell for me. The other issue is that the week of waiting is a chemo week. So I get to be miserable while getting chemo. YAY, I think.


In other gaming news. I am still actively looking to play in any game on Monday or Thursday nights. Preferred game is D&D 5e, but I am willing to play anything that keeps me occupied. I just don’t want Roll20. Purely theater of the mind over Discord. I don’t care if its a new DM or an experienced old DM. I just want to play on one of those nights (actually preferably Monday night). I don’t care if we are 1st level or 20th level, I can play it all. People are just afraid of my age and that sucks. I don’t want to have to DM another night just to get my playing fix. Yeah, its crazy stupid for me to even consider another night beyond Tuesday and maybe Sunday afternoon. It would kill me mentally and wipe me out physically, so I won’t even consider it. Patience will lead me to a new game.


I found out that Teresa does have a limit to the number of nights that I am allowed to play. I can play 4 or 5 nights, but not 6 or 7. I jokingly mentioned that she would allow me to play every night, she said NO, not every night. There has to be some nights for us to be together and watch TV or whatever else she wants to do. Plus I have to have time to prepare for the games I am running and playing. So I have declared Saturday night and Monday or Thursday to be game free to gain some wife faction points. I’ll be happy and she’ll stay happy. I may be dying, but I am not stupid. Oh yeah, I forgot Wednesday, that is reserved for Cori’s games if she ever does get to running them.


Mojo is much better. He is eating real food even though he has no front teeth. Now his bark is definitely more worse than his bite. lol. Teresa is still giving him pain medicine daily, but I think today is last day of that. He is happily sleeping his day away without a mouth full of bad teeth.

Pucky goes to have his teeth done in November. His arent really bad like Mojo’s were, but he has some loose teeth so he’ll have the complete dental thing going on then.


OK, I am done for the day I think. Gonna find a video for you all and then take a Xanax and maybe a short nap before game time. You all have a wonderful Sunday afternoon/evening.

Author: Jeff Campbell

I am 50 year old guy, who beat blood cancer but is getting his butt kicked by bone marrow cancer. At this point it appears I am dying. Married and in love with the most wonderful woman in the world (27 years). She has stood by me thru a lot of crap and I love her so.

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