Ah, August 5th, 2020 was the last of the truly beautiful August days. High was around 79, the sun was shining, it was just wonderful. Tomorrow is supposed to be more of the same. Then it’s supposed to get progressively hotter this weekend. At least I should have a nice day for my birthday.
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Today was the last day of my most current chemo rounds. The whole process is getting rather boring. Go and sit for 2+ hours and get poison pumped into me. For 3 days out of every 4 weeks. To mix things up they rotate the nurses every month. Being bipolar and having a bunch of anxiety disorders makes me HATE this monthly change. Just about the time I get used to a set of nurses, in comes a new set. Bah. Oh well, it went off without a hitch after being postponed a week. I am that much closer to the big day I get to choose whether I get to come off chemo or not.
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Lexapro works for my depressions. Even the little baby dose I took worked to break up my downward swing. However, coming off it has caused serious insomnia. Like Sonata didn’t do anything to knock me out insomnia. I hope this after effect doesn’t last long. Triggered insomnia is worse than the random insomnia I get. I can’t explain how, it just is.
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Today was the arrival of about 30 pounds of gummi-type candies. Beyond my orange and cream gummi bears, I have rings of many flavors peach, cherry, blueberry, and more. 30ish pounds of this stuff… makes me happy. All of these come from the Albanese Candy Factory. Now, I remember going off about the Albanese Gummi Bears and how awful they were. I still stand by that statement about there regular Gummi Bears. But their Orange and Cream Gummi Bears are amazing. So, I thought I’d give some of their other stuff a try. It was a Birthday present to myself.
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Yes, my 50th birthday is tomorrow. I am comfortably into the middle of middle aged according to google. Teresa took tomorrow off. We won’t do anything special, but we will enjoy each others company. Teresa will be driving to the Texas Roadhouse and getting us STEAK for dinner. And I will be laying here doing nothing, probably not napping probably not reading probably somewhat miserable cuz I can’t sleep, which makes my mind go whacko thinking real fast and that makes me miserable.
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On the good news front, my brother and mother ARE definitely planning to relocate back to the Region in June of next year. This means I get to visit the Region again. And I will have a place for my “Still Ain’t Dead Yet” party August 7th, 2021. I hope I get to visit my brother and mother before they leave Longmont, Colorado. I hope there is a vaccine for Covid-19 before June of next year. I need to finish my bucket list by having Del Taco’s Macho Combo Burrito, and they live like 5 minutes from a Del Taco now.
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And finally, I will know my future of August 20th. Was it just a bad cold which takes time to recover from? Or the Dacogen (chemo) stopped working and my body is going back to producing crap instead of healthy cells? Right now, it’s a 50/50 option. This is what my brain is cycling fast on. If its the first option, no biggie numbers will improve, if its the second option, I see a Bone Marrow Transplant in my future (Had a stem cell transplant before), and a lot more chemo.
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That is it, I am done. Video inbound. Peace Love and Gummi things.
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