Covid-19 test 2 spit in a cup

It felt wonderful being outside today 84 degrees with minimal humidity. It feels like Fall is starting, but I am sure there are a few more ridiculously muggy days to go before Fall is here. Oh yeah, its August 17, 2020 or so I have been told, a little early for Fall but I will take it however it comes.

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I went and had my 2nd covid-19 test today. This one was spit in a cup and not a swab up the nose. Took forever to generate enough spit in the cup, at least 10 minutes. It was kind of gross actually, never had to collect my spit before. Anyhow, I am sure I do not have Covid-19 so they can collect whatever sample they need and we can all go on with our lives.

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I have not been sleeping well. Well, that’s not completely true, I have been sleeping well from 10pm to 2am, and then from about 2:15 to 4am and then I am wide awake. I tried really hard to fall back asleep until about 7am, then I gave up and got up for a bit, I started dozing on and off in Teresa’s chair around 9am, so I tried to go to sleep then, no luck then either. Got showered and dressed around 10:30 and we were out the door at 11:02am, returned from the Covid-19 test around 12:02pm and I laid down to take nap and finally fell asleep around 1pm. I slept from 1pm to 3:30pm and it felt so good. I think I am going to try for a second nap after I finish this blog entry.

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Tomorrow is an appointment with my shrink, Dr. Eastin. Boy is he is for a shock. I was doing so good really, just a little depression. Now I am full of anxiety and dealing with major depression, and its not even SAD season yet. Teresa is really worried about me and my mental state. She actually asked if I called my psychiatrist, and when I said I have an appointment tomorrow she said “Oh, good”. Which is Teresa talk for you need to see him.

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I am scared, angry, depressed, and about 1000 other emotions mixed in for good measure. I am trying to maintain a happy out face, but it’s difficult. I want to scream at the top of my lungs and beat the crap out of something. I called someone an a$$f**k for not using his turn signal and I wasn’t even driving. So many pent up emotions running wild in my head.

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Wednesday morning is Bone Marrow Biopsy day. We have to leave here around 6:15am to get to the hospital on time. My procedure is at 8:30. They want me there by 7. Whole thing should be done by 9:30. And I should be home and asleep by 10:15am. Fentanyl and Versed are the meds of choice to put me to sleep. Turns out its the same combo they use at Mayo, so that makes me more comfortable. This is Bone Marrow Biopsy #17 (I think). I wonder if there is some kind of record for the most BMBs on a living person? Just curious.

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Thursday morning is labs and a visit with Dr. Wehbe, there is no way he will have the results yet. So, I am not entirely sure why we are seeing him. But see him we shall. My blood stats should be high enough this week to not warrant a trip to the infusion lab. Next week is a whole other story. Possibly both blood and platelets next week. It sucks, but it might be whats left of my life.

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Friday is open. I would love to get the results on Friday but I know that won’t happen. So Friday will hopefully be a day of sleeping in (HA HA) and a day of doing much of nothing (cuz after my busy week, I am going to be exhausted).

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I am already sick of being sick. Incredibly bored with the whole idea. It’s not right and it’s definitely not fair (I know, no one said life was going to be fair). Happy 50th Birthday Jeff, now you are going to die. That sounds about right for my life. I, the statistical anomaly dies in his sleep (we hope) at home (sorry Teresa).

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There will be no funeral, no service, no nothing. Teresa and I have decided its just going to be her at the funeral home getting my ashes in a box. I do not know how my mom and brother will feel about this. But it is Teresa’s wish and I will support Teresa even after I am dead.

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But I am putting the cart before the horse. I’m not officially “actively” dying yet. Won’t know that till next week. So no more dwelling on that unpleasantness.

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Video Time I guess. Cuz I am stuck in the dread zone.

Author: Jeff Campbell

I am 50 year old guy, who beat blood cancer but is getting his butt kicked by bone marrow cancer. At this point it appears I am dying. Married and in love with the most wonderful woman in the world (27 years). She has stood by me thru a lot of crap and I love her so.

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