The return of the CPAP and weird sleep

Yeah, I was without my CPAP for 3 weeks cuz the mask pads had stretched too much and it leaked all over the place, including into my eye.  Finally got 2 replacement pads and 1 new mask with pad.  So it was back to CPAP for me starting two nights ago.  Well, the same thing happened to me when I first started with the full mask, I slept like 4 hours and then WOKE UP.  Not groggy or anything, just wide awake.  Then I would get tired and take a nap later.  It’s happening again.  It’ll take about a week for my body to get used to it and I will be able to sleep normally again.  I can’t wait.

Finally got enough players for my Wednesday night higher level D&D game.  Will take a while to get everyone set up, but we are hoping to start running by July 5th if everyone is in town.  Due to scheduling issues instead of 6 to 8 central time we are running 5:05 to 7:05pm central time.  This is gonna put a crunch on me eating dinner, but heh, I want to play, so I will deal.

So far we have a Cleric and a Sorcerer and 3 unknown classes.  10 days to get characters made and magic items distributed and make sure everyone can connect to the mumble server.  It’s all good, if I have to make their characters for them, I will.  I actually enjoy making characters so it’d be fun.  But right now, we are waiting on 2 of the players to pick their classes so the 3rd will pick his.  He wants to fill the hole, I can respect that.

I am debating sending an NPC along with them.  As long as I don’t have to play an NPC healer, it’s cool.  With a full blown life cleric I don’t think healing is an issue.  Having a permanent NPC in the party is actually kinda useful, any info that they need to know the NPC can just supply it.  But this is gonna be a well balanced party, so I may not run an NPC along.  We shall see how they gel before I get to into the idea.

Thursday is trigger point injection day.  Thank the gods for small miracles.  Get a couple shots with really big needles then be on my way.  Hopefully pain free.

I totally missed Chipolte day for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.  I meant to go get a burrito and the next thing I knew it was the next day.  Oh well, they still get my money.

We are about to make our first payment on the house.  It gets withdrawn on July 1.  I would say I was excited, but I am not really.  Autopay is autopay and I just watch to make sure there is enough money in the account for it, and that is not an issue anymore.

I will also be making my first payment (well second, but first since the deposit) for my mom and my vacation next August.   I figure my share will be paid off in 8 months.  So it’s all good.

I haven’t went on my diet yet, but I can tell just in how I have changed how and when I eat, I have lost some weight.  Not a whole lot, but enough to notice.



Got back to Des Moines a little after 11.  Got to leave the airport at 11:24.  Got home shortly after midnight.  1st flight I was next to a guy who didn’t speak English, no chatting there.  2nd flight was next to a lawyer who spent the whole time with his nose in his phone reading an email article so not chatting there either.  So, the flights were fairly quick and exceptionally boring.

The buckle on my belt sets off the machines at the airport.  On the way there, it was a quick pat down along the back of my belt.  On the way back, the guy checked front back sides, all around, including checking the package to make sure I didn’t have anything extra hidden there.  But heh, I got thru it, so it’s all good.  But for the record I don’t plan on flying into Midway again unless Delta makes a direct flight from Des Moines (which is highly unlikely to happen).  I had my 2nd rudest treatment by an airline person ever by a southwest baggage check lady.  Bad enough I am tempted to write southwest a bitchfest letter.  The worst still goes to the collective bunch at United.

Had Leukemia chat tonight.  The regular moderator was absent, the replacement moderator is an old friend.  Either she has notes or one hell of a memory.  But she remembered all sorts of things about the chatters that I had totally forgotten.  But all the moderators of Leukemia chat are great.

Made the reservation for the room the day before the cruise next August.  It’s all about getting a much pre-secured as possible.  So I don’t have to worry about it later.  I would book our flights too, but airlines don’t release the info for flights til 11 months before.  So, I can’t book the flights til September, which is also about when I will get current excursion information.  Holland America gives a slight discount if you book your excursions before the cruise.  So, that is the plan.  Have everything all ready and paid for so we can just get on the boat and go.

The doggies seemed to have missed me.  I haven’t been without at least one of them since I woke up today for more than 5 minutes.  I missed them too.  I love my Chihuahuas, they are such good doggies.

Some day I might make it to England and/or Scotland, but for now that dream is put on the backburner.  My back is just too thrashed to even consider riding on a bus for 14 days, let alone the long flights to and back.  I really do want to go.  Hopefully once I get myself together, I will get to the acupuncturist and start a real treatment plan.  That costs money though that is currently being diverted to paying for the cruise.  So, for now, back treatments happen when I hurt too much to think and not a real plan to permanently fix my problems.  Plus I am not sure I trust either acupuncturist that I have seen here to do the job right.  Oh well, I am gonna have to trust one I guess.  Probably little Chinese guy, cuz the White guy never once suggested herbs or anything else.

I’m gonna start back to Ant’s bipolar chat tomorrow.  Today was mostly spent asleep.

My car is sick again.  Most annoying.  Won’t back up.  Goes into reverse real fine, just the parking break is messed up.   So they will rebuild that again, charge us a small fortune, and it’ll make my 12 year old car good for a few more years, I hope.

I was right,  I have a couple pissed off players in my Mumble D&D game.  It was bound to happen and it was nothing personal.  Wizards just made that one expansion too powerful as a whole.  So I banned the expansion, the good news for the players should be that I am not using it against them either.

I had my first experience using the new stove tonight.  ooooooooooooooooooooooooo fancy.  Having a stove actually cook at the right temperature was a pleasant experience.  It has way too many buttons and features, but hey the price was right and it’s what Teresa wanted.  So, happy wife, happy life.

After my car gets fixed, I will be joining the gym I mentioned a few blog posts ago.  With the weather getting really hot and really humid here, I have no intention of walking there.  So, when my car gets fixed, I will go.  Don’t want to be wiped out before even getting to the gym.  As for the diet part, it’s being put off a little bit too, because I have a bunch of frozen stuff I need to eat that I don’t have points for.  But the diet is going to start sooner and opposed to later.

Thanks to my brother, I am discovering late 90s music for basically the first time.  After we moved to Iowa we got cable immediately and I listened to either 80s stuff or classic rock or alternative.  Music Choice 90s is exposing me to stuff I haven’t heard before.   I had written the 90s off as bad rap and other crap music.  Turns out there really was some nice music in the 90s.  Go figure.

It feels really great to be home, even though I am missing my mom and brother really bad right now.  Home is where I feel the most comfortable.  Home is where the love of my life is.  I just wish my mom and brother still lived close.  But then my brother wouldn’t have the job he has now and both he and mom would be pretty much miserable.  So the best I can do right now is go see them twice a year and hope that one or both of them come to visit here.

Jimmy turns 50 next year, mom actually thought I would miss that.  NOT A CHANCE.  Have to be there for the big 50 for my bro.  And I have to out due my gift to him for 49, which was a gargoyle toilet paper dispenser.  Hmmm, I got a little less than a year to come up with something EPIC.



I give up

OK, I give up.  School is not for me.  I totally had a freakout meltdown today when I looked at the syllabi for my classes that started today.  It thru me into a serious depression.  I just can’t do school.  It is definitely not that I don’t want to, it’s that I can’t.

So basically all these months of talking about it was just that talk.  I am very sorry for wasting your time.

In good news, we bought a big thick mattress pad for our new bed.  Now maybe I will get a good night’s sleep.  Or a night’s sleep without waking up with a huge backache.

In chat news, there was a big dust up last night.  We lost one moderator and Ant, the guy in charge, said she would get her moderatorship back over his dead body.  It wasn’t pleasant.  We almost lost the other moderator too.  Which would have left  just me and Ant, not good.  Luckily she decided to stay.  And we have found a replacement moderator for the one we lost too, she is from Belgium but you wouldn’t know that English wasn’t her first language.  We are still looking for a couple more mods cuz right now I am doing like 12+ hour days and I would like a break.

Vacation plans to go to the Region are still on.  Will be there on the 31st, but since I am flying out at 6:05am I will not be in any shape to see people until I get a good nap in.  I will be there for my brother’s party on the 3rd.  Then I will be leaving on the 7th.  It’ll be so good to see my mom and brother again and to see my Region based friends.

Not going to school means Thanksgivingfest and Thanksgiving are back on.  I am happy about that.  So, whoever is hosting Thanksgivingfest, we are coming this year after all.  Bruce and Cori, I hope the bed is still available, if not let us know, we can afford a hotel if it comes down to it.

Teresa will be cooking for Thanksgiving proper at Ruby’s house.  Ruby asked her last year and Teresa said yes, so now Teresa will be able to keep that promise.

So, this is way cool.  I still would have rather done school (no offense to anyone aforementioned) but these 2 events make for a very happy replacement.

My therapist is gonna be upset at me for deciding not to do school.  She was all excited for me. I probably should text her and let her know it was a bust.

Tomorrow I go to the school to return my books so my financial aid account will go back to zero.  Would hate to drop everything and still owe them money.

I still plan on going on Weight Watchers when I get back from the Region.  Gym plans have changed since I don’t want to pay and drive to Ankeny.  There is a small gym here in town with all the required stuff and personal trainers I can hire.  OK, its not that small (according to their website) and it’s an Anytime Fitness with a 4.8 star rating.  I personally can afford the 36.99 a month to be a member.  And if that one doesn’t work for me, there is a Lifetime Fitness HUGE gym just down the road a piece.  One way or the other, I will be going on a diet/exercise regime to lose 35ish pounds starting sometime mid-June.


One week

It’s one week til school starts.  FINALLY the anxiety has started, not the messed up stomach or the fast heart, just headaches.  At least I assume they are anxiety related.  Having them just about daily for the last few days.  Not bad headaches, just enough of a headache to let me know it’s there.  That is why I think it’s anxiety and not allergies or something else.  Whatever is causing them I hope it goes away in a week or less.

Antman, who I mentioned previously, made me a moderator for his bipolar chat room.  Today we had over 20 people come in to the room, which is way cool and way more than I expected.  I even had some say that I was the reason they came back to the room from this weekend.  That makes me feel good.  I am trying to be a good host and trying to be super friendly to everyone.  I guess its working cuz word is getting out.

Still haven’t bought the new stove.  Don’t know why Teresa hasn’t hit the buy button yet, but she hasn’t.  I don’t want anything to do with purchasing of it.  Teresa did all the research, she can click her mouse over the buy button.  And as for a handyman to install the power cord and ultimately the stove.  She found several in our price range, so its all good.  Just a matter of doing it I guess.

We also need to fix the door locks, they are installed backwards or something like that.  They lock but they are harder than hell to open sometimes.  So hopefully our handyman can do doors too.

I talked with the people at the gym at DMACC.  Don’t have to sign up for anything, just come in and they will look me up by name and boom I am in.  Too cool.  Gotta call them about a personal trainer cuz I can’t find the form online any more.  I don’t know if my google-fu is failing me or they removed it or what.  So calling up there is the best option I got.


Sick computer is healthy again

Today was the day I decided to finally fix my desktop computer.  It had a several issues, specifically with heat.  Replaced the liquid cooler with the MOAC (Mother of all Air Coolers) and it has dropped my cpu temp from locking up temps to 12-20 Celsius.  The other heat issue was on the video card, I finally googled how to turn on the fans which were set to not turn on unless the video card reached 50 or 60 Celsius.  My video was locking up when it passed 40, so that was a problem, now its firmly around 30 Celsius.  I did not install my new solid state drive today because my back is now killing me from hunching over the computer.  Solid state drive is not a necessary upgrade, just an update so it is not a priority.

13 days still school starts.  Heh, just another day.  Maybe I would be anxious or excited if this first semester wasn’t online only.  Oh well, it’s probably for the best that I ease into school.  And I don’t think you can ease into it any more than doing it all online.

Found out that my back roads plan to get to school in the fall is going to be under construction until October.  So now I think I have to come up with yet a different weird route to take.  I still don’t want to try the main roads because I don’t want to deal with traffic or delays.  But I might be stuck going that way because as far as I know, that’s about the only other route besides the scenic route I was going to take.

We got our new bed yesterday.  I have to say, first night wasn’t that great.  I figure all the twists and torques I had in my back from the old mattress started to straighten out and what I got was a very painful wakeup.  I LOVE THE BED though.   Just gonna have some pain until my back understands its not gonna be a pretzel anymore.

And as a final note.  It feels funny owning a house (sorta).  We haven’t done anything house ownerish yet, but we got plans.  And the fact that we have plans feels funny.  We have been renters for so long it just seems funny we aren’t any more.

I think I mentioned before that the first thing we are planning on doing is buying a new stove.   Teresa has went to Google and researched the crap out of electric stoves (wish we had gas).  She picked a black and stainless Samsung model which looks cool.  Our kitchen is kinda a hodgepodge of colors, but black seems to be a theme.  Anyhow, getting the stove will be no problem, we can have it delivered and the old one taken away, the problem is neither of us feel comfortable wiring the plug which, for some unknown reason, doesn’t come with the stove.  Thus we need a handyman.

We are having issues finding a handyman that isn’t ridiculously expensive.  Finding a handyman hasn’t been too difficult, just finding one that doesn’t charge too much is.  Tried getting a referral from our deck builder dude, he wasn’t very helpful.  Tried our neighbor who fixes small engines for a living, he doesn’t do stove hookup either.  So we are gonna keep looking and hopefully find one in our budget.


Mainly, The House

I know this blog revolves mostly around me and my thoughts and actions of going to school, with a smattering of other stuff for good measures.  This blog has been great help for me in figuring out what I want to do with my future as it may be.   I have wanted to do a blog for years, started one on livejournal  years ago, but let it go by the wayside.  Started one somewhere else too, but hated the format, can’t remember where it was.  Oh well, I like WordPress and will continue to use for the foreseeable future.  Just wish I could get rid of the WGU widget on the side over =======> but I can’t replace or delete it for some reason and I am too lazy to contact WordPress support.  Oh well.

Today was a great day.  I slept in.  I spent almost all day with Teresa.  We closed on the house, so it belongs to my mother-in-law now and by default its ours, ours I say.

I got my head shaved to #2 again.  I like keeping it short now, go figure.  I totally hated short hair as a kid and now I have them using a razor to shave it.  Since I think I am gonna keep having my head shaved to #2, Teresa has decided she can do the job, so we ordered a razor from to do the shaving.

We also decided, since our first house payment isn’t due til July 1, that we are going to buy a new stove, as the old one here is dying a slow painful death.  There is an issue though, we don’t feel comfortable hooking up the electric cord which for some reason comes separate from the electric stove.  So we have a call out to my construction friend (the guy who built our cool new deck) to see if he can recommend a handyman.  Would rather use someone who is recommended than some random person on Angie’s List or online elsewhere.

The next big purchases for this house will be a new washer and new dryer.  Yep, the stacking unit that the landlord bought to replace the old stacking unit sounds like it isn’t gonna last too long either.  And now, its our responsibility.  A responsibility we happily take on.

Also on the list of things we want to do to the house is paint the master bedroom.  Turns out that neither of us likes the colors.  So, said aforementioned handyman might have more than 1 job from us.

There is actually a lot I would like to do to this house.  Hopefully we will be able to it all over time.  Nothing on my wish list is outlandish, just stuff to make it nicer and update it which it desperately needs.

OK, enough about the house.

School starts in 18 days.  Book buying is in 10 days.  I have gotten over them cancelling my refresher English class.  Just hoping nothing else gets cancelled, cuz that would truly suck.  Just getting tired of waiting.  Not anxious, not excited, just bored waiting.





One week

I would be amiss of my blog if I didn’t mention that is exactly 1 week until school starts.  Today possibly I showed my first hint of anxiety in the form of not being able to concentrate on things.  I tried to chat, I tried Facebook, I tried games, I tried talking on the phone and I even this is my 3rd try to write this blog entry.  If it is not anxiety, it’s just annoying and I hope either way it goes away quickly.  Would hate to try to pay attention in class when I can’t concentrate.

I am a little concerned that they are going to cancel the English class.  Heh, either 3 or 8 people have signed up for it.  If 8, the class will run.  If 3, I am not so sure.  I hope it runs for 2 reasons, it fits my schedule so well and I already rented the book for it.  I guess there is a 3rd reason… I really need it.

We got notice today that the house is definitely going to close on Friday.  Woot Woot.

Poor Pucky and Mojo, they are missing Teresa something fierce already.  They were waiting for her at 6 o’clock, the time she normally gets home.  Now tonight as I am getting ready for bed, they are looking for her.  I think its gonna get worse the more she has to travel for work.

It’s a little after 10pm and I am heading to bed.  Yeah, I know its pathetic.  But I am taking my meds earlier so I can get to bed earlier so I can get up earlier.  6am is going to be coming in 1 week, and I plan to be ready for it.  So good night.

New glasses.

New glasses are expensive, even with good insurance.  I suppose I could’ve went to one of those really cheap places and got crappy frames that fall apart, but nope, I decided to go to Lenscrafters.

I got 2 pairs of glasses, 1 regular pair and 1 sunglasses cuz it was cheaper than getting 1 pair with the transition lenses.  I will finally be able to see again.  No more squinting or holding it way the hell out there.  I pick up the regular pair tomorrow and pick up the sunglasses in a week.

House closes in 1 week.  Glad that will be over.

New bed should be here next week too (I hope).  It will be nice to be able to sleep again.

School starts in 10 days.  I should be full of anxiety or at least excited somewhat, but honestly I am kinda ho hum about it still.  Maybe its a sign that I am ready for it, maybe its a sign that I should be running for the hills.  Who knows!?!?!?!  It’s all good, I am ready for school to start.  Summer session should be easy peasy.

Again where I do have some anxiety is thinking ahead to fall.  Yeah, I have went over this here before, Seasonal Affective Disorder blah blah blah.  Not gonna bore you with it all again.

Teresa goes on travel AGAIN next week.  And is supposed to AGAIN in June, but we have a scheduling conflict and I bought my tickets first.  It seems that now that I am healthy and all, all the travel she was supposed to do while I was sick plus all the travel that they want her to do now is happening now.  Too much travel in my opinion.  I happen to like having my wife around.

Everything is going right in my world for a nice change.


Our house, not our jeep.


Made 1 phone call, got transferred once, left 1 voice mail…..received 1 phone call back and my DMACC ONECARD is on the way.  I will have it in 7 to 10 days.  Before classes start, even my early class.  WOO HOO.  Don’t I wish that all bureaucracy was handled this efficiently.  Life would be so much easier.  This took maybe 5 minutes total.

The problem was that I had a card in 2015, pre-leukemia.  Almost everything pre-leukemia that wasn’t vitally important got pitched.  So the ONECARD I had was pitched along with a lot of other trash from under my desk.  My fault if not my action threw it away, and at the time my action probably would have thrown it away anyhow.

So that is one more thing taken care of for school.

I am still heading up to the school on Wednesday for a tour and to hand in my change of major form.  I most certainly hope it doesn’t trigger yet another orientation requirement.  That would be totally annoying, but easily enough resolved.



As I mentioned directly on Facebook.  Clonazepam during the day was a bad thing.  I slept and slept and slept.  I don’t need it, still not feeling much anxiety about school this time and school is imminent.  If I was going to freak out, I’d have done it already.  Any, since I am not full of anxiety, and I don’t want to sleep during the day, I have decided not to take the early morning clonazepam.  This decision might be revisited if all the sudden anxiety overcomes me.

My car is still leaking fluids and I haven’t had a chance to get it into the shop to see what is wrong.  Perhaps when I get done posting this, I will give them a call and see when they can fit my car in to be looked at again.  My 2005 Dodge Neon has to last for a minimum of 2 1/2 more years, more likely 3.

No news on the house.  Not that I expected any today.  Now its all about waiting.  I know we aren’t going to close on the 27th, no chance of that.  But I hope we close sooner as opposed to later.  The less we have to pay our current landlord, the better now.

Teresa is going out of town for work AGAIN on the 1st – 4th.  Seems like she was just out of town for work (oh wait, she was).  This time she is going to some conference in Boston.  At least this one should be more fun for her than the last one.  Vendors will be throwing stuff at her as opposed to her stressing out.  And its only 4 days this time, maybe the house can close on the 5th.

Both of the dogs have figured out the doggie door.  Puck got it right away.  Mojo was a little slower, finally figuring out how to go OUT today (the door went in Saturday).  Big WOOT to Mojo, cuz I am tired of opening the door next to the doggie door so he can go out.  Yay for a spring, summer and fall of not having to open the door whenever their highnesses wanted to go out.

Duck Duck Goose

Termite inspector came (was 1/2 hour early) and there are no termites on our property.  So that’s all good.  He was here for about 10 minutes like I guessed he’d be.  It was just a quick run thru the basement and garage.  Both of which are kind of a mess, but it’s done.  Now, all inspections are completed, 99% of paperwork is done, mainly just waiting on them to do something about the absent abstract.

We bought a bed today.  A Saatvamattress bed.  Let’s see if I can link here. Apparently I can , but I killed it somehow.  I’ll figure that out later.  It’s if you want to see.  They got killer reviews and are considerably cheaper than the big name brands.  Teresa did a ton of research on beds and this was her pick.  If it sucks, she is never going to live it down.  lol.  No, seriously, after reading what I found about it, I probably would have picked it myself.  Will be here in 9 to 18 days. 9 day Teresa is in Boston, 18 days I am in school.  So let’s hope for somewhere in the middle.

School starts in 17 days.  Still confused as to why I am not horribly anxious about it.  Not looking forward to getting up at 6, but its doable, and I only have to do it for 2 weeks.  So it’s all good.  2 weeks of 8am to 2:40pm class.  Then 4 days off.  Then summer session really begins, all my classes then are online, so it doesn’t matter what time I get up.

4 months and 2 days til Fall Semester starts.  Then its back to waking up at 6.  So maybe I just keep waking up early so its not a second shock to my sleep system.  Yeah, I am already looking ahead of summer semester.  Fall semester is going to be rough cuz of my SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder).  Come end of September I start to get really depressed, October is normally a loss, as is most of November.  I am usually better once WINTER hits.  Last year was bad cuz winter was so wussy here.  I finally snapped out of the depression February.  So Fall Semester should prove interesting.

Still haven’t received my ONECARD from DMACC, so Monday I start making phone calls.  Can’t do anything at the school without the card, cant buy books, cant use the library, cant use the gym, just cant do much of anything.  I hope when I start making phone calls on Monday that it gets resolved quickly.

Biggest anxiety of the moment, is the fear that something is going to go wrong.  Things have been going right for so long, it feels like something should go to shit.  I know I have a huge Good Karma pool, but it just seems that after so much good, a bad thing always happens to me.  Here’s to hoping that whatever bad that happens to me doesn’t derail things.