A message and a bunch of babble

I will.
—————-
If all the men who’ve heard women report sexual assault, harassment, objectification, and being made to feel uncomfortable by any unwanted sexual advance, were to commit to interrupting that behavior, not allow it to happen, and not minimize women’s concerns about these issues wrote “I will” as a status, we might give people reassurance that there are men who are allies and will be agents for change.


The above was stolen from a friend on Facebook.  It’s a real man’s answer to “me too”.  I copy/pasted it on Facebook and I posted it here.  I got no time for a cretin who doesn’t know how to treat a lady right and all the time and sympathy for a lady who has been treated wrong.  Simple as that.


D&D tonight went really well even with me being sick.  Had a few problems with simple addition and subtraction cuz my mind shut down, but I managed.  The party is doing really well with the 4 of them.  A Paladin, a Sorcerer, a Cleric, and a Fighter/Thief.  A Ranger was supposed to join them, but he keeps working over in the real world.  They thought they were about finished with the adventure, but they came to a dead end now they get to backtrack and go the other way.  Funny thing they caught on to, either way they would have went would have ended in a dead end.  I wanted them to do both sides of the place.  So next week they will be off to clear out a bunch (A LOT) of undead.  Will be most fun for everyone.  Especially for me 🙂


Day 5 of being sick (I think).  Still coughing, still choking, still short of breath.  Sinuses aren’t bad, so that’s a good thing. Have only ran low fevers.  Which makes me achey and cranky.  But most of the time my temperature has stayed in the normal range.  So, I guess it could be a lot worse.


I told my mom about my project and she thinks it’s a good idea.  She thinks I can do it without a problem.  I think I can to.  But I still can’t tell you all what it is until I run it by Teresa and see what she thinks.  It’s a good, solid idea.  So it’s really 50/50 as to which way she is gonna take it.  Let’s hope it is the “good” 50 and she says ok.  I will ask her about it this weekend, when I should be feeling a bit better.


Disneyworld may be postponed a year.  Teresa wants to put in heated tile here at the house first.  I’m ok with that, I guess.  I will benefit from the heated tile more than she will, so hey I’m not gonna balk.  Heated tile is gonna run us a pretty penny though, cuz we wanted thru all over the main floor, which is 1200ish feet square.  But if heated tile is what Teresa wants, heated tile is what Teresa gets.  Disneyworld will still be there next winter.


I have a friend here that used to do general catering, but got burned out.  She cut catering down to just weddings and went to work at a tile place.  Apparently doing fairly well at it.  But now if I want her catering I have to know someone getting married locally.  Guess I won’t be getting any of the Chicken Alfredo anymore 😦


I’m back to playing WoW with my wife.  I really got back cuz I want to pet battle, but it seems silly not to level to 110 with at least 1 character and I chose Pugno my warrior to be that 1 character.  Pugno has been thru a lot, it’s appropriate that he will go on.  I hadn’t played a MMO for several months, it was weird last night playing with some people.  But it feels right playing WoW with Teresa.


After I get back here from our little Thanksgiving vacation, I will be looking actively for a D&D game to PLAY in.  I love DMing, really I do.  And I like to think I am pretty good at it.  But sometimes it’s good to be the one acting in the play, not directing it.  I am afraid I am going to have to use roll20 though.  I don’t care for roll20, but I can see it’s usefulness for people who can’t or don’t want to play in the mind’s theater.  So, I will try to find a live 3d game here in the Des Moines area, or I will find one online probably thru roll20.  Either way, I am going to play in a game starting in December.  Yup, that is what I plan to do.


I’m not sure when the Friday night D&D game is going to resume.  We were supposed to start last Friday, but I had no voice, then this Friday, but 3 of the 6 of the players are gonna be away, so next Friday, the 27th maybe.  I have had more than enough time to prepare for the end of this story arc, I keep adding to it and taking stuff away.  I have to get this done before my head explodes.  The 27th, yes, we will rock the end of the current story arc then transition into the NEXT Stage.   Yup Yup, Next stuff is really cool I think.  My peeps are gonna have some fun.  That is part of my life goals, help people have fun.


Hmmm, Cori didn’t like my Punk music.  She said the Chicago was her mom’s music.  I won’t post rap, but I doubt she’s into rap.  I won’t post country, cuz I can barely stomach country.  I know what I will post now…Cori probably won’t like this either.

Now I’m sick, and is her fault

Now I can blame Teresa for my illness. Upper respiratory infection.  Of course, doc says they can’t give you anything for it for 10 days, I am officially on day 4.  Bleck.  Tried taking a nap but coughing too much, nose running too much, and Mojo scratching the hell out of my back (which has nothing to do with my sickness, just wanting to whine some more.  I HATE being sick.  I really do.  Weird thing is, I haven’t ran a fever.  Guess not weird, have to be on my death bed to run fevers normally.


I am going to have to cancel my lunch with my friend again.  I am not going to be healthy by Wednesday.   Good thing I have nothing else scheduled for a long while.  As of this minute, I have nothing scheduled until the first week of November.  Plenty time to get healthy.


We started on the first puzzle yesterday.  Heh, the pieces are transparent glass, so you see colors on both sides.  Luckily, one side is shiny (the top) and one is dull.  Still if you aren’t paying attention you are looking at a piece wrong.  It took us a couple hours just to put together the outer edge, this is gonna take a long time I think.  But it’s fun, so it’s all good.


I have a phone call to return, but my voice is fried.  I sound horrible when I can talk at all.  So, that phone call is gonna wait a few more days.


I still have stuff to talk to Teresa about, but now instead of waiting for her to feel good enough to listen , we are gonna wait til I feel good enough to talk.  Disneyworld, we need to decide on.  A short getaway for our 25th anniversary, we need to talk about.  I know there are more things, but those are the two issues that come to mind.


34 days til Thanksgivingfest.  Woot.  Yes, I am counting.  No, I still don’t know how I am getting to Indy, but it’s all good.  I’ll get there.  Good food, good friends, good times, who wouldn’t be looking forward to spending 12 hours that way?


Sunny and cool is the weather forecast until the weekend.  NICE.  we needed a dry week.  We’ve had so much rain it caused the airport to shut down cuz a spot on the tarmac broke apart.  Planes couldn’t get to the runways.  So all air traffic in and out was cancelled or diverted for about 14 hours.  All because of the foot or so of rain we got over last week.


I just answered my phone, had a 30 second conversation and I am totally winded.  SUCKS to be sick.


Something is wrong with WordPress, it keeps failing to save a draft.  Oh well, I am not gonna do anything to make what I have wrote go away, so I’m good.


I think I forgot to take my Flexeril this morning.  Guess I will know this evening.  This morning is a cough filled blur.


Heh, the problem wasn’t with WordPress, it was with my cable modem.  Anyhow, it’s fixed now.  But I am cutting this post short.  I’m feeling o rotten atm.

I feel bad and its not Teresa’s fault

I do feel crappy today.  However, I don’t think I am gonna get this as bad as Teresa has/had it.  My voice is toast.  I have a pretty wicked sounding cough.  But I am not running a fever.  I am not all congested.  As a matter of fact, I may have something completely different than what Teresa has.  Heh, who knows.  I just figure I will feel crappy for the weekend and be ok by Monday.  That is normally how illnesses go in this house, I feel crappy for a few days, Teresa sits on her death bed for a week.  I guess that is good because right now my immune system is compromised.

editor note:  Teresa did not get me sick.


Way back when, Teresa and I did a big puzzle together, had a lot of fun doing it too.  Teresa had decided she wanted to do an adult lego kit build, but those are really expensive.  I convinced her to buy a couple puzzles.  We ended up getting a 1500 piece Disney Stained Art one, and a 1000 piece Disney characters one.  We have a table in our bedroom which will be perfect to do puzzles on.  I am looking forward to doing these puzzles with my wife.  I love spending that kind of time with her.


I made it to Leukemia chat last night.  Stayed for a little over an hour (it runs for 2).  It was a good chat.  Because it’s so specialized and you have to fill out a big form to get to it, we don’t have trolls.  And even whiners (not that anyone last night was a whiner) at least whine on topic.  I look forward to next week.


I signed up to volunteer to work the survivor’s tent at the Light the Night event this year. I really try to support the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in any way I can.  I hope that the LLS is getting to more of the people who can use them.  I didn’t know about the LLS until AFTER I was out of treatment.  Heh.  Not when I had questions and doc was tip toeing around the answers.  Anyhow, the LLS is a great organization which really tries.  Anyhow, Light the Night is their big fund raiser for the year.  I am accepting donations for the Light the Night walk.  I don’t have the page to send you to yet.  But I have the app on my phone.  So if you are interested in donating, leave a comment here or msg me on Facebook, and I’ll be glad to help you out.


I have decided NOT to try school again.  Firstly, I don’t want to have the argument with Teresa and Secondly, I have screwed up too many times, I don’t want to do it again.  So, I am not gonna do it.  I think I could do it in a real semester, but I don’t want to go into debt to see if I can or can’t.  So no school for me.


Because I have a little voice and a sore throat tonight, Friday night D&D has been postponed 1 week, possibly 2 weeks if 3 of the players aren’t available next week.  I want to finish this story arc so bad… but fate keeps pushing it off.  Most disappointing.  But we will get this done and move on to the next story arc which is cooler than this one.  And hopefully we will be able to do it straight thru or close to it.


I love Zyrtec.  Fall is normally terrible to my allergies, but I have been pretty much allergy issue free so far.  1 pill a day and no runny nose or itchy eyes.  That’s a good trade in my opinion. If I take it too early it makes me sleepy, so it gets taken with all my other 10pm meds.  I take too many pills at 10pm, but Zyrtec is one I am not willing to give up.


I’m looking forward to Thanksgivingfest.  My friends who go to that I only get to see once a year, which in my opinion is not often enough.  But it’s all we can do.  I live too far away and direct flights are just too damn expensive.  So, once a year is what we get.  And I like to make the most of it.  The only other time they all get together is Superbowl and football is so not my thing.  So, I don’t make any effort to see them then.  If I made a trip to Indy any other time, I would only get to see a few of them.   Sometimes I just wish I lived closer to them.


Of Pokémon and other things…

Went on a spontaneous date with my wife tonight.  We first set out to go to Red Lobster, but then changed our mind and went to the Texas Roadhouse in Johnston.  After dinner we went Pokémon hunting / Pokestop cruising thru our town.  I must say it was nice just getting out and having dinner and then getting some laughs in as we did the Pokething.  I would love to go out more often, but she often gets stuck at work late or is just too tired.  I understand totally.  But tonight was a great evening with the one I love.


Pokémon, the game on cell phones.  Yup we have played on and off since launch, but its been like a year since we touched the game.  Today I just fired it up on whim and caught a couple Pokémon.  When I was catching them tonight, Teresa decided she was going to start again.  So we decided together to cruise the Pokestops here in Adel.  She even got 1 new Pokémon out of the night.  My Vileplume ran away.  It happens.  Anyhow, again I point out that this was a lot of fun with the one that I love.


Texas Roadhouse is one of our go-to restaurants.  The service always rocks, the food is always great, and the whole atmosphere is fun.  Unfortunately, other places have Texas Roadhouses that aren’t up to that standard, so I can’t recommend the chain to everyone.  But if you are ever in the Johnston, Iowa area, and you want a excellent steak dinner, go to the Texas Roadhouse.  It’s right off the 80/35, easy to get to.


My physical therapist has decided that physical therapy isn’t working for me.  I tried to do the simple stretches yesterday and the day before and they caused pain in my back.  The stretches are NOT supposed to cause pain.   Therefore I was told that I shouldn’t be in physical therapy.  My ex-Physical therapist is going to send a letter to my pain doc to that effect.   So, on Monday or so I will call my pain doc’s office and try to get in sooner as opposed to later which is what my current scheduled appointment is.  Heh, I need more Flexeril anyway.


Been reworking some of the stuff I had set for the D&D campaigns that are resuming next week.  I really made adventure that the high level group is doing way too hard I think.  And the low level group has had it way too easy.  Now if I can middle ground both groups I’ll be doing good.  Taking difficulty away is so much easier than adding difficulty.  I have 6 days to get the high level stuff worked out and 8 days to get the low level stuff worked out.  No worries there, I don’t have jack other things to do, so prepping for D&D can actually be a priority.  lol.


I accidently took 2 Flexeril this morning, slept and slept and slept.  Well, my back didn’t hurt today.  So, other than sleeping til 2:30 in the afternoon, there were no really bad or odd effects.  Just have to be more careful about if I have or haven’t taken one in the morning.  I do not have this problem with the one at night as it gets taken with all the rest of my pills.


This coming April is our 25th Anniversary.  I wanted to throw a party and invite all our friends.  Teresa pointed out that she doesn’t have any friends.  I felt (feel) sorry for her.  Then I realized that she really doesn’t have anyone she can call up and make lunch plans with.  Anyone she can just hang out with.  Sure she has coworkers that she is kinda friendly with, but they aren’t friends as the only thing they have in common is work.  Ick, boring.

I, on the other hand, have a large handful of people I call friends.   People I could call up and any one of them would be happy to go to lunch or hang out with me.  No, I am not a social butterfly, but I got friends here in Iowa.  Then when you get out of Iowa, I have friends in lots of places.

So, if we threw a party for our 25th anniversary, it would just be my friends and our collective families.  That would be awkward for Teresa.  So we won’t be having a party.  I am still gonna pitch to her the idea of just getting away for a few days to the Hotel Pattee. It’s a fancy old time hotel in Perry, IA.  Just a short drive away.   It would be nice to just slip away and not worry about anything.


Disneyworld trip is solidifying.  A short trip in February of next year.  The aforementioned trip to Hotel Pattee, is a trip doing nothing specific.  Disneyworld is a serious undertaking.  We haven’t firmed up plans, but we want to hit Epcot, the Magic Kingdom, and the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Orlando.  But we are only going for 3 or maybe 4 days.  That will be a little more fast paced than either of us are used to.  Heh, way more walking than either of us are used to.  Maybe pick one or two for this trip and go back in a couple years to do the rest.  Don’t know, but I am pretty damn sure we are going.


Same old, same old story about my issues with Civ4 warlords.  Still can’t beat it on conquer mode without nukes.  Same story on Mutant Football League, haven’t won a game yet.  Same about Skyrim, still haven’t went back to it, but I did delete all my saved games (some 3000+ saved games), so I will be starting over when I do go back.


I am concerned about this coming Tuesday.  On Tuesday we take Pucky and Mojo to the Vet for deep teeth cleaning.  Pucky has had anesthesia twice before, so not so worried about him, but Mojo has never been put under and he is so small.  I am sure Dr Beeman knows what he is doing, I shouldn’t worry.  Just if anything were to happen to Pucky or Mojo, we would be devastated.


texas-roadhouse

World Dance Party

I have achieved what I thought was impossible at this time.   I have actively sat in a chair for almost 3 hours (a couple short breaks) and my back is not hurting.  Miracle of miracles.  Physical Therapy has helped some, but the real credit has to go to Flexeril.  But truly, I do not care how I am sitting without pain, I just want to let the world know that I can now sit without pain.  Happy Hectic.


I ran a high fever on Thursday, the day I was supposed to go to mental therapy.  Almost high enough to contact my cancer doc and probably be admitted to the hospital.  Luckily over a lot of hours, 6 Tylenol got rid of the fever.  But I did not make it to therapy obviously.   We rescheduled for this Wednesday at 11am.  I don’t normally make morning appointments cuz I take a Flexeril in the morning and it normally knocks me out til after noon.  I am testing it today, I did not take a Flexeril this morning, gonna try not to take one until noon and then take a Flexeril nap.  So far so good, I am awake and functional.


I am thinking of buying a record player from amazon.  I have all these records and nothing to play them on.  The player I found does mp3s, cds, Bluetooth, etc… as well as plays records.  The thing is, its 120 bucks and we are supposed to be saving.  I have amazon gift card money saved up though, it has no other use as of now.   I guess I will have to run it by Teresa.


My mother and brother are at the Feast of the Hunter’s Moon in Lafayette, Indiana.  Wish I was there too.  I haven’t been for many years, but memories of it still stand in my head.  It was fun when I was a kid.  Now that I am older, it would probably be a different kind of fun.   Oh well, I how Jim and Mom have a good time.  Maybe next year I will find a way to go with you guys.


D&D games won’t be resuming next week as I had hoped.  Got too much going on next week.  The week after looks much more mellow.  Besides, I need some time to changed up what I was going to do in both the high level and low level games.  Still wish someone else would run a game I could be a player in, either online or in person.  But online everyone seems to want to use roll20 which I do not care for.  And in person is being really difficult to find.  I have to get down to Mayhem on a Wednesday night to see if any groups have an opening on a day or night that I have free.


It really sounds like we will be going to Disneyworld next February or so.  I priced out Disneyworld and Disneyland.  For EXACTLY the same trip, just the different destinations, World was like 1000 dollars cheaper.  Airfare being the HUGE difference.  Flying out of Des Moines is expensive.  And flying to Ontario, CA from Des Moines cost over double the price of flying from Des Moines to Orlando.  We could fly into LA and rent a car and drive to Anaheim, but that would be more expensive too.


Heh, my shrink put me on 2 clonazepam a day 6 months or so ago.  I can physically only take one a day if I want to be awake at all.  I haven’t seen my shrink in  all that time to tell him to cut the prescription down to 1, so we have a ton of extra klonnies.  Guess I will save them for if I get a real bad run of insomnia again.


This year I am not certain if I am going to do the Light the Night walk for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.   I know I am not collecting funds for it.  But I am not sure I want to go walk it again this year.  They moved it later in the year cuz last year was ridiculously hot.  That is a good thing.  Right now, I just don’t feel up to it.  I am gonna get my free t-shirt though, the one that says SURVIVOR on the back.  I will contact the local LLS chapter and arrange to pick one up before the event.  They are cool people, they’ll let me.


OK, at 3 1/2 hours of sitting, I have a small little pain spot on my back.  Not even really pain, just a little ache to remind me that my back is messed up.  This spot is located right at the trigger point that started this whole mess with my back.


I think YouTube has every video (well except the NSFW ones) ever recorded on it.   I just looked up The Fools, World Dance Party.  And I’ll be damned if someone hadn’t uploaded it.  Anyhow, I enjoyed it, so now you can too.

Luckiest Man Alive

Mom being here is going great.  We went to HuHot on Thursday night.  HuHot is always a good dinner and being with my wife and my mother is wonderful.  Friday night we stayed in and had this potato/sausage/cheese stuff that my wife makes.  Tonight, mom took us to the Machine Shed.  The company I am with is great.  They both really enjoyed their dinners.  I had flavorless mac and cheese, big disappointment.   But hanging with the 2 greatest women in the world makes it all worth while.  I love my wife, I love my mom, and I am so happy that they get along so well.


I am doing the stretches that the physical therapist gave me.  Doing them according to his instructions.  Not hurting while I am doing them.  But a half-hour or so after I am done, I am in a lot of pain.  As of day 3 of doing the stretches, I don’t seem to be going anywhere with them.  I see my physical therapist again on Monday.  Should be an interesting conversation.  But like I have said, I am giving this a go.  Really trying PT this time.  I hope this works.


My back is still thrashed.  Even Teresa has given up trying to get me to use my desk, at least right now.  So I am playing everything on my laptop right now.   It’s all good.  My new laptop has a more powerful processor and a similar video card to what my Desktop has.  Translation, with the exception on not seeing things on a 34″ monitor, it’s pretty much just as good playing games on my laptop.


With my back being thrashed, I can’t sit out in the living room with mom very much.  I feel kind of bad about that.  But I do go out and visit when I feel up to it.  And Teresa has really stepped up and is sitting chatting with my mom a bunch.  I wish I could go out there and join them, but after sitting for 2 hours at dinner, I just don’t have it in me to sit any more right now.  I know that mom understands, she is cool.


Mutant Football League is FUN.  I got good in practice, so I decided to try a game.  Every time I made a 1st down, I got a stupid penalty called on me.  EVERY TIME.  I wonder if this is a glitch or something I am doing wrong?  I had 3 touch downs called back for penalties.  But I did win the first game I played, by surviving longer than the other team.  Wow, it was wild, the field we were trying to play on was super deadly.  There was 8 yards of offense for the whole game.  lol.  Then I went to play another game and that is when the penalties started.  Really frustrating.  Gonna try another team and see if it was just the team I was playing or something else.  But even with the penalties, I was having fun playing.


I am not liking Rocket League very much.  Car soccer is just not my thing.  But it looks really pretty.


Still taking a break from Skyrim.  I think I burned out on the game for a while.  I know it’s there when I want to go back.  And I will go back, I have no question about that.  Civ4 Warlords is still my go to game.  That and screwing around with MFL.  Talk about 2 very different games.   MFL is a wild, intense, hands on game… while Civ4 is a turn based, mellow, casual game.   But hey, I am having fun with both.  So screw it, I will play what I like when I like and no one can say anything bad about it.


We finally got around to making an appointment for Pucky and Mojo to have their teeth cleaned.  Their teeth are not bad by any means, but it is time for a professional job on them.  Plus they both have teeth that have to be extracted.  It’s gonna cost us a minor fortune, but we love out fur babies and this is needed.


It’s the middle of September,  Thanksgivingfest is 2 months away and Sam and Shel who are hosting this year haven’t let me know if it would be ok to bring Pucky and Mojo to their house.  I asked originally in July or so.  I bet Sam forgot to ask Shel and thus the reason no one has gotten back to me.  They were so good last year at John’s house.  No accidents whatsoever.  But I would never assume it was ok to bring them.  So I guess I will get ahold of Sam and ask again.  Or maybe go straight to Shel.  One way or the other, I will know in a couple days.  Yup, I won’t put it off, or forget


Looking forward to seeing the Gang again at Thanksgivingfest.   It’s a tradition that I look forward to every year.  It’s the only chance I have to see the Gang every year.  And now that Teresa has taken to coming with me.  It’s doubly good.  I don’t miss her terribly and I still get to see my friends.

And the lunch with Andi and Shawn the day after Thansgivingfest is looked forward to as well.   Shawn is NOT going to cancel on me again.   Even if he has the bubonic plague from his kidlings, he has to come.  Andi has only cancelled on me once, and that was because it fell on her brother’s 40th birthday.  Anyhow, it’s always great to see the two of them.  And one year Tommy met up with us.  Brian said he might want to drive down to join us this year.  But Brian barely spoke to me last time I was in the Region, I don’t know if he is mad at me or if that just happened cuz it happened.  Oh well, no matter who shows up, it’s always a nice lunch.


Oh, my mother-in-law has decided that she can’t come to visit right now.  So, D&D might resume much sooner than I originally announced.  No promise to that at this point, but things are definitely looking that way.   I will be installing Mumble on my laptop, and getting things ready to run here on the laptop as opposed to the desktop cuz I can’t sit in my chair for 2+ hours.  It’ll be fine.   I actually have more room here in bed that I do at my desk.  Go figure.  I will let you all know as soon as its been decided.


Oh, for those keeping tabs, my platelets, white blood cells, and hemoglobin were all down yet again.  Biggest concern being the platelets.  I barely had a little cut on my thumb and it bled for 6 hours, not gushing but oozing blood for 6 HOURS.   This sucks, I am scared of where this appears to be heading.  I don’t want to go back to the infusion center.


And finally, I have an x-ray scheduled Monday morning.  Then a Cat Scan Tuesday morning.  All to find out IF I have a kidney stone or something else wrong with my right kidney.  A little scared about this too.  Especially scared at what can be causing the pain if it is NOT a kidney stone.  But hey, it’s me, and I am weird.  What does not kill me only makes me wish it did, sometimes.


Peace, Love, and Gummi Bears.

 

It’s been a while

Hey guys, sorry it has been a while since I posted here.  My bipolar kicked in and my mood went into the crapper.  I didn’t have anything new to say, or if I did I blew it off as non-important and went on with my life as it is.


So my blood numbers all went down and that freaked my regular doctor out.  She contacted my cancer doctor who ordered a bone marrow biopsy to find out that I do NOT have leukemia again.  He had no valid reason as to why my numbers all dropped at the same time, but at least he had some sort of plan.  And boy does his plan suck.  —-  100mg of Prednisone a day for a week, then go in for a blood test, then 90mg for a week, another blood test and so forth and so one til I finally go down to 10mg a day for a week, then maybe my blood production will go back to behaving like it is supposed to.

Prednisone is my instant-asshole med.  Turns me into a total jerk.  Makes me want to destroy things.  100mg is causing severe stomach pains.  I can’t eat enough in the morning to circumvent this pain.  Or so it sure seems, today I ate more than I ate for dinner last night and still had the pain.  So maybe food isn’t the answer and the answer is just deal with it.  I really do want my blood numbers to go back to normal normal, as opposed to the weird normal that had settled into.

Anyhow, I am fighting really hard to not take it out on my wife, my mother, my brother, my friends, my dogs, anyone I have to deal with.  It is being really difficult.  I want to scream and shout and break things, instead I am just cruising thru life, trying not to offend.


To that end, I have put both of my Mumble D&D games on hold.  Initially because of the depression I was in…  now because of the pent up rage I am feeling.  I hope that the people who didn’t know me before don’t bail on me.  As soon as I level out I plan to resume the games.


I cancelled the cruise next year for lots of reasons.  The biggest being my fear that the leukemia would come back right before we were supposed to sail.  That would be my luck.  Holland American Cruise Lines rocks though.  They could have kept 20% of everything I put in (I did read the paperwork).  Instead the refunded the whole amount or are refunding the whole amount rather.  That is super nice of them if you ask me.  I would guess that were I feeling physically and mentally better now, I wouldn’t have cancelled.  But with such extremes going on now, things could still be worse.


Oh yeah, remember my complaining about my back hurting.  Well it still hurts.  Of course it is my own damn fault for moving my desk into the bedroom and my computer from beside my bed.  Although, I do have to say that the desk setup looks marvelous.  Anyhow, my point I was making, it hurts my back to sit.  Lounging back on pillows with a keyboard in my lap was much better on making my back not hurt.  —  So, I start physical therapy next week.  Goody.  While dealing with pent up rage issues, I get a therapist telling me how I am supposed to stretch and move and sit and stuff.  This physical therapy is to make my pain doctor shut up.  He did give me a short in my nerve damage area of my neck and that feels 110% better, he did nothing for the rest of my back.  Not even pain pills of a minor form.  He said, physical therapy so off I am gonna go.


Skyrim is still my go to game to pass the day away.  I lost interest in the character I was playing last time, when I said this would be the one I would play to beat the game.  Heh.  I started an Orc Warrior who is now Master of the Assassins guild, Master of the Thieves guild, Archmage of the Mage school, and a Bard, oh yeah, he also collected all 24 special gems and the crown for the game killer quest.  That quest was not fun.  The resulting Prowler’s Promise or whatever it was called like that is an amazing result.  All the gems that keep showing up, where there used to be maybe 2 on a whole dungeon, there would be 40 or so for a run.  Not silly little cheap gems either, but flawless ones worth big bucks.  But I am bored with him now too.

Tried to play a caster AGAIN.  A Breton Conjurer.  Someone online posted it was the most fun he had playing the game ever.  I say he levels too ridiculously slow.  He is level 17 now and if he were a warrior or thief that did the same quests, I would have been level 30.  It’s the way you gain xp in the game that is screwy.  You don’t get xp for completing quests, you get it when you skill up any skill.  Well a Conjurer, conjures, the rest of his skills just kind of flounder.   There is no armoring to do.  Enchanting has minimal usage.  It was fun, but I am definitely a results for time spent kind of guy I guess.

I don’t know right now what new class/race I am going to try.  But I seriously doubt it will be a caster from the go.  Since anyone can learn to cast spells.  And even with a base starting out magic ability you can become Archmage of the mage school, even while carrying a 2 handed axe and wearing a full suit of dragonplate armor.    Heh, the game is a little screwy I guess.


I have given up on the diet and exercise thing I was going to try.  Well, the physical therapy will include some exercise I am sure.  But not joining a gym is part of my plan.  And not going on weight watchers is also part of the plan.  Why?  Because I don’t like brown rice.


So anyhow, to sum up my life.  I am an angry, sick, pained, Skyrim Junky, who would rather just be left alone right now.


Normally, I would be off to find a picture to put here.   But laziness has claimed the call.  So, no pic today.  Just a honest hope that everyone who reads this is having a better life than I am right now.