I LIVE AND LOVE

Last Friday was mast last dose of prednisone and Monday night into Tuesday I slept 6 +2 +2 hours.  Yay for a quick turn around off of no sleep to sleeping like a hibernating bear again.  Feels so good to not have that stupid med in my system anymore; I am not extra grumpy, I am not zombie tired, and I am NOT eating like 3 people who are starving to death at a buffet bar.


My back pain has come back with a vengeance though.  Steroids block pain really well.  Take away the steroid and the problem still exists.  I meant to call the physical therapy place today (Tuesday) but brain farted it.  I’ll be extra attentive to doing it tomorrow.


But I live, live to fight another day so to speak.  This is good.  I happen to like life, even if it has overall been crappy towards me.  Asthma, Bronchitis, Pneumonia until I was 30.  Then things went downhill healthwise from there.  lol.  Bipolar diagnoses, stomach problems which required major surgery.  Leukemia for  my wife’s birthday.   9 months in and out of the hospital for that.  Now my platelets are screwed down in the high 30/low 40s range.  Supposed to be 150.  Heh.


I love my wife, she treats me so well.  Better than I treat myself, that is for sure.  If it wasn’t for her, I probably would have been dead several times over already.  Just want to say to everyone, I LOVE MY WIFE.  Nothing is gonna make that change.  She has been thru the worst of it, and she has stayed by my side.   That makes her a keeper. Definitely a keeper.


New laptop works great for Civ 4 Warlords, but not so good for Skyrim.   Skyrim only sees to intel 630 mobile video card in the system and not the NVIDIA video card.   It’s not a problem with my laptop, it’s a problem with Skyrim.  Where Civ 4 says, you have a video card, good we will run our game on it.  Skyrim goes out and detects the video card and tries to match up what it thinks is best.   A little annoying if you ask me.  Maybe Skyrim isn’t meant to be played on a laptop.


Mom is still coming to visit as far as I know.  I should call her to find out the dates and times (she hadn’t bought the tickets yet when we last spoke), and also find out what the doctor said about the pain she has when eating.  Now that I would find highly annoying and aggravating.  Anyhow, it’s gonna be great seeing her again.


Pucky lost his loose front tooth.  Still has another loose one on the right side.  We only know about that one cuz the vet checked his mouth last time I was in there with Mojo (I take Pucky along for moral support).  Turned out that Mojo and Pucky have the same loose tooth on the side.  We are going to have the vet clean their teeth real good and remove the aforementioned loose teeth the don’t seem to want to just fall out.  The procedure is a little expensive, considering the have to drug them unconscious, I guess it’s not that bad.   But Vet bills have added up over the years.   Between Pucky’s back knees having to have surgery (both of them), to Mojo’s seemingly constant ear infections.  The total keeps going up and up.  But we would pay anything to keep Pucky  and Mojo in the best of health.


CPAP Machine is getting annoying, the thing the holds the mask on your head (I forget the technical name) has stretched almost to the point of unused in 2 months.  Tonight I am going to bed without the CPAP machine.  I am not going to die from sleep apnea, I am gonna die of old age.


OMG, it’s tomorrow already?!?!?!?!  Where did today go?  Oh yeah, I slept a good chunk of it away.  But still, yes, I am tired, but not sleepy tired.  Maybe after I finish this blog post I’ll play a little more CIv 4.  Teresa is asleep next to me, so as long as I don’t have sound on, she will sleep thru it.  Oh yeah, the keyboard on my laptop doesn’t have the clicky sound that a lot of keyboards do.  That is a really nice feature in my opinion.  The glowing red logo on the case is a bit much though in my opinion, but even it’s not totally obnoxious.


Teresa made a playlist for Alexa to play called Sleepytime.  It’s very relaxing.  Normally knocks me out, but I am NOT sleepy, tired yes, sleepy no.  I am laying on a heating pad making my back feel wonderfulish for a while.   Heat helps it, cold does not.  Go figure.  But the point is I don’t want to fall asleep on the heating pad, just doesn’t seem like a good idea.


That was weird, the window in which I am typing this shrunk for about 6 seconds, then spread back out.  Probably my fault.


Chronic cough is back with a vengeance.  Almost nightly I am taking cough medicine,  Will take some before I go to sleep tonight, that is for sure.  I am coughing a minor storm.  I don’t know how she sleeps thru it.   But her soft snore continues on even after I have a major coughing fit.  Maybe she has just trained herself to ignore me while she sleeps.   Funny, I can’t do that, I have problems falling asleep without her soft snore.   Not that I can’t fall asleep, just it takes that much longer to do so.


Oh, by the way, I am digging the weather we are having up here in Iowa.  high of 71 on Tuesday.  I think its supposed to maybe eek out an 80 tomorrow.   Fall can come early.  I won’t mind.


Well, I have been writing this for an hour, I think I have run out of things to say.  I hope all you readers are having a wonderful life.  And if not, at least a passable one, eh.


Out with the old…

The old laptop has been replaced.  Not sure what I am gonna do with it.  It still does word processing and business stuff really well, just doesn’t and never has ran games well.   I am writing this blog post on my shiny new laptop.  It plays Civ4 like a champ.   Tomorrow, if I get some sleep tonight (HA HA), I will fire up Skyrim and give a dragon fight or two a go.  I really like this new laptop, its a Republic of Gamers Game Notebook Strix.  I am slowly transferring all my hardware over to ROG hardware, I really like the stuff they put their tag on.


Sleep has been elusive for the last couple weeks.  Stupid prednisone side effect.  My meds knock me out ok, but I am awake after 2 or maybe 3 hours.  Wide awake all day until my meds hit again at night.   So I am doing 21-22 hour days for over a week.  Makes for one tired, grumpy guy.  Hopefully when I come off the prednisone on Friday, I will be able to sleep on Sunday maybe.  I don’t know how long prednisone stays in the system…  With my luck, it’ll take a week to get out of my system and I won’t sleep even when not taking it.  Eventually my system will just shut down and I will SLEEP the sleep of the dead for like 36 hours.   I used to have really bad insomnia issues, I remember doing these kind of things and then crashing for a couple days.  Hopefully I come off prednisone and my body goes back to normal quickly.


Wife is worried that since I have a gaming laptop now, I will spend all my time in bed again.   I spent less than 5 hours in bed playing tonight, will she was home.   Beyond that all day I was on my desktop gaming system with the 34″ dual monitor setup.  I still prefer to game on that than this laptop and it’s 15″ monitor.  This laptop is primarily for when I go out of town, so my games can travel with me.  Or when Teresa is sitting in bed playing on her ipad, I will break out the laptop and spend time with her.  Otherwise, its gaming desktop all the way.


Can’t wait for mom to visit.  I really do not get to see her enough.  Now I will get a whole week with her, without the distractions of the Region.   Even though she thinks Des Moines is the single most boring place on the earth, I hope we can find some stuff to do together.  I’ll make her drive everywhere.   I don’t care to drive much anymore.


I had a twinge of back pain today.  I am on the minimum dosage of prednisone now, so the pains might be coming back.  That’ll mean physical therapy starting for me.  I don’t want to do physical therapy (AGAIN) but my pain doc won’t give me anything for the pain in the lower and mid back, so I will give physical therapy a real try this time.  I have never went into physical therapy for my back with the thought in my head that it should work.  This time, I am going in with the hope and thought that it is going to do what it is intended to do and strengthen my back so I am not in pain all the time.  I may add acupuncture to the back cocktail if physical therapy works.  Double the treatment Eastern Medical practice and Western physical therapy.  Best of both work perhaps?


Been too tired of late to play Skyrim.  Skyrim requires thought to a certain extent, and my mind is a terrible fuzzy wasteland right now.  So instead I have been playing Civ 4 Warlords.  I own multiple copies and all the DLC of Civ 5, couldn’t stand it.  Civ 6 looks interesting but I am not into how they changed combat.   It’s all right I guess, but I like Civ 4, build big stack of badness, go squash little stack of meekness, take city, laugh hard, rinse, repeat as necessary.


OK, I have talked about Music Choice on here before.  I discovered a new channel (new to me), the y2k channel.   They play 2000-2011 music.  The stuff I listened to on the radio cuz there was no classic rock station or because it offended Teresa less.  The dogs stepped on the remote and put it on one day and I didn’t even notice it was something different until a couple hours later.  It’s cool.


I am new to this blog stuff, I don’t know how often I am supposed to publish.  I went thru a phase where I published multiple a day or at least one a day, but that was when things were going on for me.  Now that I have accepted that I am to do much of nothing short of gaming for the rest of my life, there just isn’t a whole lot to say.  There is only so much you guys would want to hear about my low blood numbers and no hope of them improving.  Lots of stress there, but nothing about it has changed since the last 2 times I mentioned it.  Back pain going on was cool, now its coming back, not cool.  So forth and so on, lots of the SSDD for me, so I tend to save a bunch for a big post.


D&D will resume after my mom comes to visit and maybe after my mother-in-law’s visit.  Anyway, it is looking like the first week of October.  Yeah, long break again.   Sorry folks but it is how my life has went, severe depression, then anger, rage and general foul moodiness, the it will be too much pain to sit for 2 hours straight, then company staying at our house that I need/wamt to be attentive to.  D&D will resume just in time for my fall Seasonal Affective Disorder.  Yup, sucks to be waiting on me.  Sorry, so very sorry.


Oh, it is 10pm, time to take my nightly meds, sleep comes in a couple hours.   Then I will sleep for a couple hours, then I will be up playing some game or the other.   I am drag-ass tired, been this way for a while now, hope is in sight, just have to reach out for it.

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And so it goes…

Tapering off prednisone quickly is causing me to be moody as all hell.  Sleeping a lot, which was not what was supposed to happen on prednisone.   I have 2 more days on 40mg, 3 days of 20mg, and 5 days on 10mg and then I am done.   Maybe then I will stabilize out again and be able to function “normally” again.   I can hope.   I can dream.


I have totally given up on the idea of ever working again.   Especially if my blood numbers never improve.   I get dizzy while seated.   I bruise/bleed really easy.  I get the sniffles if someone within 10 miles sneezes.  This is just preposterous.  Right now, I don’t feel I can safely leave the house.   Well, I can’t drive safely on prednisone (road rage) but besides that, I just don’t feel comfortable being out and about.


My chronic random cough has been happening a whole lot lately.   The cough I picked up during chemo.   It’s a hard hacky cough that normally goes away after a couple hours.   Well, this time it has lasted 3 days.  Lasted thru 5 doses of cough medicine.   May have to email the cancer doc’s nurse and see what is recommended to deal with it becoming a more permanent thing.


My kidney hurts again (still).   I haven’t went to the regular doctor yet cuz I want to talk to my cancer doc about it first.   Since he would have to ok any procedure beyond just wait til it passes.   I have an eerie feeling that the stone is larger than I expect it to be and something is going to have to be done to break it up.   The procedure supposably causes huge bruising on your back or front (depending on the location of the stone).   The bruise is reported to last 1 month on non-bleeders, imagine it would be 3 or 4 months on me right now.


On to non-medical stuff.

Pucky loves the doggie door and loves to sit outside in the sun for hours.   Mojo has taken to being totally afraid of the doggie door.   He won’t go thru it either direction without serious bribing.   Very frustrating.   Just want the dogs to go outside and do their thing without having to open the door each direction for one of them.


I was wrong on the dates mom is coming to visit.  She is coming September 14th thru the 21st.   Then my mother-in-law is coming for the last week, I think.


My new laptop is taking a long time in coming.   Ibuypower.com has “started gathering parts”, which was started yesterday.   How long does it take to gather parts?   Should be a grab grab grab, put it together.  Make sure it boots and runs.   Ship it out the door.   Total time they are supposed to have it is for 10 days max, they are 3 now.  I guess I am just being impatient.


It will be my luck to get the laptop DOA, like my pc was initially last time I ordered from them.  The good news is they jump on DOA products and get replacements out really fast.  I like ibuypower a lot.   I would recommend them to anyone looking to buy a computer or laptop.   Good prices, Good service, Good selection.  Can’t argue with that.


Summerslam was last weekend.   Overall, I liked it, except the whole Brock Lesnar win.   I am so ready for him to retire from the WWE altogether.  Go back to MMA where people appreciate you.   This casual/serious WWE fan is tired of the whole Brock Lesnar product and wants to see someone else be Universal Champion (but not really Braun Strowman, save him for another complaint rant).


Being on prednisone has got me out of having to go to Therapy and Shrink appointments for a few weeks.  Has been kind of nice.  But alas, I am going to have to go back when I can.   It’s just I wish I didn’t have bipolar and wish I didn’t have to do therapy and shrinkage.


I haven’t did a bipolar chat in a long time.  And I keep missing Leukemia chat.  No bipolar chat cuz I have other issues going on and don’t feel like bringing them up in bipolar.   No leukemia chat cuz I keep forgetting it is Thursday night until AFTER it is too late to join the chat.    I suck, I know it.


With any luck, D&D will resume in 3 weeks.  I hope the guys and gal who plays are still interested.  It’s been a longer break than I had intended, but a necessary break.  First I was depressed, then I was prednisoned.   The depression was bad and looked like it was gonna hang around for a while.  Then the prednisone made me a jerk.  Neither mood is conductive to good gaming.  I hope everyone understands.


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Well, that didn’t work

The prednisone plan didn’t work.  I went to instant jerk and full of hate for nothing.  I took the prednisone like I was ordered, and nothing changed.  So, the great plan to fix my blood numbers is a failure.  As a matter of fact, now I have to go in monthly for blood work to check my platelets (specifically) and other numbers as well.  I still only see the doctor every 3 months (we will get it back to 4 months) but I get to pay for a visit every month to talk to a nurse.   Heh, what a racket.


Prednisone did help my back pain.  Steroids are great for aches and pains.  With the exceptions of a new problem (which I will get into shortly) my back hasn’t felt this good in ages.   Shame that the prednisone make me a jerk, cuz I could stay on it forever to feel as good as I do.


Regardless of its good effect and its not working for the main reason we put me on it, we are bringing me off it rather quickly.  This is causing more moodiness on my part.   But hey, the only one that has to live with it is Teresa and she has seen me much worse than this.


New development (or old development finally identified), I have a kidney stone.   My right kidney hurts and sitting for long periods makes it worse.  I have hyperparathyroidism, which is a huge cause of kidney stones.  I had chemo, which is a huge cause of kidney stones.  I had the gastric bypass surgery, a third and final major cause of kidney stones.   So, I am guessing that its a kidney stone.   I will be going to a new doctor next week.  Since my favorite CNA has left my regular doctor’s office, I have no reason to stay with my regular doctor, so I am switching to a local office of the same company.  Heck, I can walk to their office as long as the weather is nice.  Funny thing, I used to see a Dr O’Donoghue, now I am gonna see a Dr Donahue.


I am not looking forward to passing said kidney stone.   I have heard that this is an extremely painful thing.   And that they don’t do a whole lot for you unless the stone is really big.  Then they just bust it up to let it pass naturally.  Only if it’s really huge and they can’t bust it up will they actually do something drastic to get rid of it.  But they probably wouldn’t do that for me, cuz I am a bleeder now.


On the good news front.   I ordered a new gaming laptop today.   I mentioned that my old laptop has been dying for a long time.   As a matter of fact, it never worked quite right.  Well, this is a true gaming laptop.   Got a really good deal thru ibuypower.com.   We have bought many desktop’s thru them, this is the first laptop, but hey its and ASUS ROG, how bad can it be.   They are just configuring some of the stuff for me (more ram, bigger SSD).  It should arrive right before….


My mom is coming to visit.  She arrives on September 19th and leaves on September 26th.  It will be so nice to see her.  I miss her so much.  She is coming just because she wants to.  Which is the coolest reason to visit someone I think.  And since Teresa (we) cleaned the spare room, mom will even have a place to sleep.


I should be back to running my D&D games in a couple weeks.   I shouldn’t go back into a funk when I come out of this steroid induced anger period.   I hope that is the case.  Would totally suck if I went back to where I was before the steroids started.  But that would be my luck.


Today I feel like crap.  I feel like the weight of the world is on my chest.   I took a 2 hour nap, because I didn’t feel like facing the world.  I may take another nap here before long.   Today is just sucking wind and I want to break things.  But everything within range is expensive or valuable in other ways.  I should just sleep and wake up tomorrow and hope for a better day.


Oh yeah, tomorrow is Summerslam, I hope it doesn’t suck.   I haven’t watched any WWE since the last PPV and really any WWE between the PPV before that PPV and that one.  In reality, I haven’t watched any weekly WWE stuff since WrestleMania and even then I was only sort of watching occasionally.  I haven’t watch Impact Wrestling either, definitely not since they broke up the wolves and hired Alberto Del (Rio) Patron and made him champion.

I have watched ROH almost every week though.  I like Ring of Honor, really does remind me of what got me hooked on wrestling in the first place.  Less showy, more show.


Teresa is gonna shave my head again tonight.  Down to a 2.  This is our break even shaving.  The razor will officially have paid for itself vs what it would have cost at Supercuts.  I never thought I would like really short/shaved head, but hey, it’s nice.  And Teresa lets me get away without really shaving (my beard is down to a 1ish).


My cancer doc says that come year 5 or 6, you are declared cured of AML.  But then is when you run into another form of (sort of) leukemia caused by the chemo you had to get those 5 or 6 years.  BLAH.   What doesn’t kill you still has a chance to kill you.   Fun Fun.  Not.


2 weeks until I don’t win the Publisher’s Clearing House big prize again.   The drawing for 15 million dollars is August 31st.  I hope whoever does win has a good life with it and doesn’t blow it all immediately and end up broke.  That is what happens to like 90% of people who win big anyway.   Spend it all real quick, then have nothing to live on.   Heh, karma can only do some much.


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It’s been a while

Hey guys, sorry it has been a while since I posted here.  My bipolar kicked in and my mood went into the crapper.  I didn’t have anything new to say, or if I did I blew it off as non-important and went on with my life as it is.


So my blood numbers all went down and that freaked my regular doctor out.  She contacted my cancer doctor who ordered a bone marrow biopsy to find out that I do NOT have leukemia again.  He had no valid reason as to why my numbers all dropped at the same time, but at least he had some sort of plan.  And boy does his plan suck.  —-  100mg of Prednisone a day for a week, then go in for a blood test, then 90mg for a week, another blood test and so forth and so one til I finally go down to 10mg a day for a week, then maybe my blood production will go back to behaving like it is supposed to.

Prednisone is my instant-asshole med.  Turns me into a total jerk.  Makes me want to destroy things.  100mg is causing severe stomach pains.  I can’t eat enough in the morning to circumvent this pain.  Or so it sure seems, today I ate more than I ate for dinner last night and still had the pain.  So maybe food isn’t the answer and the answer is just deal with it.  I really do want my blood numbers to go back to normal normal, as opposed to the weird normal that had settled into.

Anyhow, I am fighting really hard to not take it out on my wife, my mother, my brother, my friends, my dogs, anyone I have to deal with.  It is being really difficult.  I want to scream and shout and break things, instead I am just cruising thru life, trying not to offend.


To that end, I have put both of my Mumble D&D games on hold.  Initially because of the depression I was in…  now because of the pent up rage I am feeling.  I hope that the people who didn’t know me before don’t bail on me.  As soon as I level out I plan to resume the games.


I cancelled the cruise next year for lots of reasons.  The biggest being my fear that the leukemia would come back right before we were supposed to sail.  That would be my luck.  Holland American Cruise Lines rocks though.  They could have kept 20% of everything I put in (I did read the paperwork).  Instead the refunded the whole amount or are refunding the whole amount rather.  That is super nice of them if you ask me.  I would guess that were I feeling physically and mentally better now, I wouldn’t have cancelled.  But with such extremes going on now, things could still be worse.


Oh yeah, remember my complaining about my back hurting.  Well it still hurts.  Of course it is my own damn fault for moving my desk into the bedroom and my computer from beside my bed.  Although, I do have to say that the desk setup looks marvelous.  Anyhow, my point I was making, it hurts my back to sit.  Lounging back on pillows with a keyboard in my lap was much better on making my back not hurt.  —  So, I start physical therapy next week.  Goody.  While dealing with pent up rage issues, I get a therapist telling me how I am supposed to stretch and move and sit and stuff.  This physical therapy is to make my pain doctor shut up.  He did give me a short in my nerve damage area of my neck and that feels 110% better, he did nothing for the rest of my back.  Not even pain pills of a minor form.  He said, physical therapy so off I am gonna go.


Skyrim is still my go to game to pass the day away.  I lost interest in the character I was playing last time, when I said this would be the one I would play to beat the game.  Heh.  I started an Orc Warrior who is now Master of the Assassins guild, Master of the Thieves guild, Archmage of the Mage school, and a Bard, oh yeah, he also collected all 24 special gems and the crown for the game killer quest.  That quest was not fun.  The resulting Prowler’s Promise or whatever it was called like that is an amazing result.  All the gems that keep showing up, where there used to be maybe 2 on a whole dungeon, there would be 40 or so for a run.  Not silly little cheap gems either, but flawless ones worth big bucks.  But I am bored with him now too.

Tried to play a caster AGAIN.  A Breton Conjurer.  Someone online posted it was the most fun he had playing the game ever.  I say he levels too ridiculously slow.  He is level 17 now and if he were a warrior or thief that did the same quests, I would have been level 30.  It’s the way you gain xp in the game that is screwy.  You don’t get xp for completing quests, you get it when you skill up any skill.  Well a Conjurer, conjures, the rest of his skills just kind of flounder.   There is no armoring to do.  Enchanting has minimal usage.  It was fun, but I am definitely a results for time spent kind of guy I guess.

I don’t know right now what new class/race I am going to try.  But I seriously doubt it will be a caster from the go.  Since anyone can learn to cast spells.  And even with a base starting out magic ability you can become Archmage of the mage school, even while carrying a 2 handed axe and wearing a full suit of dragonplate armor.    Heh, the game is a little screwy I guess.


I have given up on the diet and exercise thing I was going to try.  Well, the physical therapy will include some exercise I am sure.  But not joining a gym is part of my plan.  And not going on weight watchers is also part of the plan.  Why?  Because I don’t like brown rice.


So anyhow, to sum up my life.  I am an angry, sick, pained, Skyrim Junky, who would rather just be left alone right now.


Normally, I would be off to find a picture to put here.   But laziness has claimed the call.  So, no pic today.  Just a honest hope that everyone who reads this is having a better life than I am right now.

 

 

A Leukemia scare and a lot of pain

Since last I posted to this blog.  I have been in a lot of pain.  My back is still messed up royally.  Luckily I don’t have to wait til August 17th anymore, I am seeing the pain doc this morning (not why I was up at 4:30am, that was cuz of pain, not to get ready to see the doc).  The nerve damage in my neck/shoulder area is really working me over.  At times a pain level of 7 or 8.  It also messes with my right arm and causes my right hand to tingle.  Really annoying.  The rest of my back is doing ok on Flexeril, but my regular doc only gave me like 10 days of the stuff and my original appointment was a month away.  Oy.  Anyhow, I get to see pain doc today.  Hope to get some relief from that.


Seems I am not getting enough sun (surprise).  Furthermore, for some reason my hemoglobin, white blood cells, and platelets all decided to do a downer.  Combine the two and ta da you have a pale guy.  This prompted my cancer doc to order a bone marrow biopsy.  This one didn’t hurt like the last few.  Nice tall doc had leverage to get in and get it done without all the moving around.  It was achy for a few days, but its better now.   The results of the biopsy said my blood contains 4% blasts.  Blasts are the bad white blood cells that come with being leukemic.  According to my cancer doc’s nurse 4% is normal for a leukemia patient so I dodged a real bullet this time.   I wonder what the %age is that prompts concern?  And if this means that I will have problems in the future?


I put my D&D games on hold during this leukemia business.  I couldn’t think of anything else.  But we are set to resume August 2nd and August 4th respectively.  Gives me time to think and be prepared.  Even though it was only a week we missed, it seemed like longer.  I really enjoy running these games.  I know I have mentioned that many times before, but it’s true.


Teresa had decided that if I did end up back in the hospital she was gonna buy me a new gaming laptop.  I found what I wanted for 1299 at http://www.ibuypower.com a really nice Asus Rogue 15″ laptop, 17″ laptops are just too unwieldy.  Well, I guess that I won’t be getting a new laptop any time soon.


I am thinking of cancelling my vacation plans for next year.  Get the money I have invested back.  Leukemia is a real concern and I really don’t know if next year I will be able to go.  I have other things I could use that money for (see aforementioned gaming laptop).   And I wouldn’t have to worry about if I get sick between now and then.  I know it’s a once in a lifetime chance for me to go on this trip, but what fun would it be if I got all excited and ready and then life smacks me upside the head again and says No, you can’t go.  I hate planning my life around potential health issues, but this one is seriously a when and not an if.  I need to talk to my cancer doc, I need to talk to my mom.  Cancer doc to see if he thinks there is any chance of problems within the next year (hmmm, he just did a bone marrow biopsy, so I think his answer would be yes).  Mom because this is her once in a lifetime chance to do the cruise too and I would be squishing it for her as well.


Teresa is in New York again for work.  She went even before we got the good news about the biopsy results.   Her work told her if they came back bad they would fly her back immediately.  I thought that was cool of them.  Mediacom has treated us good over the years.  I know why Teresa is against the idea of starting over anywhere else.  Facebook offered her a lot more money to come work for them in Altoona.  She politely said “No”.


The little office area we set up for me in the bedroom is working out great.   Plenty of storage for all my stuff and all the electronic stuff (computer, printer, etc…) is now up off the floor.  Which is a good thing.  Even old(er) computer stuff is being put to use or will be rather.  Gonna set up an apache server (http/web) and mumble server on an old(er) pc which had a problem running dual monitors.  Well, since I only need it to run 1 monitor, it’s all good.


Been playing Skyrim a lot again.  I really love the game.  I think it’s the best PC RPG to come out in a long time and I don’t think any have come out since.  Yeah, the graphics are kind of outdated, but its a 6 year old game.  I tell ya, it still holds it’s own.  I picked it up cheap last Christmas and I have probably 2000+ hours logged into it.  I am a Skyrim junky.  I am currently playing the highest level character I have played and still having fun with him.  I normally have the attention span of a gnat when it comes to games like this, but I think I found the guy I want to play to the end so to speak.  A dual wielding lizard with dragonscale armor and dragonbone swords.  He started as a thief, but has evolved into so much more.


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The dark dots are Blasts in a leukemia patients blood.  Blasts are immature white blood cells which are released in the blood stream.   It takes 20%(or more)  blasts to be considered having leukemia, I was at 4%.  So, for now, I am good.

The waiting is the hardest part

OK, I had been in remission from Leukemia for 2 years.  Life had been going great.  Things had all been falling into place.  I have been happy.

Then a few days ago, I went to my regular doctor and asked for some flexeril to hold me over until I get to see the pain doc.  No problem there.  She just comments that I am looking a little pale and asks to do another blood test (after having one 3 weeks earlier).  I was all “sure, whatever”.

Turns out that all my blood numbers are down.  Hemoglobin, WBC and Platelets were way down.  This prompted my regular doctor to contact my cancer doctor who ordered a bone marrow biopsy, which happened Yesterday afternoon.

Now is the long weekend wait for the results.  Waiting sucks and over a weekend it just ruins the weekend. Not that we had anything planned, but the potential that we could have done something is there.

Waiting to hear the bad news that my Leukemia has had a reoccurrence. Waiting to hear that I am going to have to have a bone marrow transplant.  Just waiting.


I put both of my D&D games on hold until I find out if I am sick again.  Can’t concentrate on anything.   Luckily, everyone has been cool about it.  I have such great plans for both campaigns. Just glad I hadn’t started finding people for a third game just to tell them, oh, never mind.


I think I feel most sorry for my wife.  This is being really rough on her.  She is supposed to go on travel on Monday.  She doesn’t know if she is going to go.  They offered to fly her out and fly her right back if needed.  That would suck.  I should know Monday but it might not be until Tuesday.  She just wants to know too.


Thank the gods that the republicans haven’t repealed Obamacare yet.  Obamacare put a cap on how much out of pocket that it can cost for treatment of leukemia.  Neither the House nor the Senate versions of the new health bills have any such cap.


I just hate the not knowing.  Simple as that.