A bit better

Tonight I was in a slightly better mood than last night.  Not good, but not quite as bad.  I found out that 2 of the meds that I HAVE to take can cause my low platelet problem.  If I have to come off either one, I am gonna be upset.   I will talk to Dr. Wehbe (my cancer doc) about them next week Thursday when I see him to go over the results of my Monday bone marrow biopsy.  I really don’t think either of the meds are causing the low platelets, and my spleen isn’t enlarged, and I seriously doubt I have leukemia again.  Seriously, all I really know is that I have no clue why my platelets are down so low.

While digging around the net for info about pain killers you can take while you have low platelets, I found a site where they talked out low platelets as a condition.  Usually triggered by some other issue.  Other people out there (Not that I ever thought I was the only one) have as low and lower platelets than I do and are living their lives as best as they can.

Never did get find the answer for what pain killer I can take, just a long list of meds I can’t.  You’d think a net junkie like me would be able to find what I was looking for, but nope, no luck.  So, that is another thing to talk to Dr. Wehbe about.  No, I don’t want him to prescribe the pain killers, Dr Ransdell (my pain doc) is supposed to do that, when I see him around Christmas time.

In the mean time, I will just be depressed and go about doing nothing all day.

Well, it’s Wednesday at 11:28pm Central time, and still we can’t add characters to the D&D game for Friday.  Our DM said he would make it happen today when he got home from work, apparently he didn’t do something or did something wrong cuz I tried just a bit ago and nope, still no adding characters to the game.  Let us hope that he gets his stuff together tomorrow so we aren’t rushing to get it done on Friday.

Teresa has been having bad days this week at work.  It has to be rough being expected to be the expert on just about everything that her company does for the internet.   She is the sole person who knows probably 60% of what the company does.  And her boss and coworkers are all in New York while she is in Des Moines.  So they all resent that she kicks total butt on the work she does.  And the morons who she expected to get something accomplished while she was on vacation actually mucked some stuff up and put them further behind on the big project.   It’s just ridiculous that her company can’t find qualified people to help get the work done.  Oh well, I figure she is in for a few more bad days, then hopefully they pass and she can go back to having normal days or maybe even good days.  She deserves good days.

Teresa knows that audiobooks make me sleepy.  She has been listening to an audiobook all evening.  I have been yawning and trying to stay awake.  I almost went to sleep at 8:30pm, but fought that off by going outside.  At least it is an interesting book that supposedly I have read.  I lost a lot of what I have read when I went thru chemo.  Even some books that I totally loved and remembered that I loved are like new to me.  Which I guess saves us some money cuz I don’t have to buy new books.

Horizon: Zero Dawn is a cool game.  Teresa has been playing it.  I hope it wins Game of the Year.  It’s nominated you know.  If you own a PS4 it’s worth looking in to.

Teresa has declared bed time.    So, I am gonna cut this off.

crappy quality video for a great song.

Nothing going right

Well, I asked for my mood to stop rapid cycling, it did.  Today I am terribly depressed.  It’s fall.  I just got back from vacation and see nothing to do in the near future (nothing really in the long future either).  I miss my family.  My platelets still are really low and there is currently no clue as to why.  All sorts of things are piling up on me and dammit, I am down.  I said something to Teresa via Skype, it was horribly bad for me to say, I feel like crap for saying it, just more to feel bad about.

My bone marrow biopsy is scheduled for Monday with check-in at 7:30am, guess no sleeping in on Monday morning for me.  Will get the results (if it isn’t leukemia) on Thursday at 10amish, a much more reasonable time.  If it is leukemia, I will be informed as soon as they know and things will move ridiculously fast again.  I don’t want to do leukemia round 2 in Iowa, so it’ll be a temp thing here before getting me into Mayo up in Minnesota.  I really don’t think it’s leukemia though.  I have zero other symptoms.  This test is just to rule leukemia out.

After this test, I will be contacting Mayo Clinic to get into their Hematology department.  I wrote about this before.

I just want to be better.

I am beginning to doubt we will be starting that D&D game on Friday.  As of Tuesday at 6:30pm Eastern Time, we still can’t enter our characters into the game.  I looked it up, should be a no brainer.  I pointed the DM to what I found, he has to do stuff before we (the players) can do anything.  I am beginning to think he isn’t going to get it done in time for us players to get our characters in.  I hope I am wrong.

I ordered a SoClean cpap cleaner today.  I’m supposed to use my cpap, you can go back and read my complaining about it on Facebook and probably a bit on early posts in this blog.  Anyhow, I was never able to get it clean, and it was making me sick.  SoClean says you just hook it up and hit the button on it cleans the whole system.  I am all for that.  So, it’s supposed to be here on Friday, maybe I will start getting better sleep again this weekend.  I know it can’t get worse.

I have a fairly wicked cough again.  It started while I was in Indiana, and is not getting better.  BLAH, it totally sucks to have a strange cough.  Hopefully it will go away or turn into a cold or something so I can either forget about it or get treatment for it.  I really only cough during the evening.  Just another sucky health issue.

Do I have any good news to share?  Not really at this time.  I’m sure if I wasn’t so down, I would have something positive to share.  But where I am mentally everything sucks.  Sorry.


I sat in the dark all day, until I tried to plug in a small usb plug.  Then I was too lazy to turn the light back off, besides Teresa gets upset when I sit in the dark.  So, I sit here, unable to do much but type this short blog entry, and even this was a challenge.  I hope you all are having a better day than me.

Of Black Friday and Medical Crap

We shopped on Black Friday but we didn’t leave our house.  All the presents were downloads from either the Playstation store or Steam.  So, needless to say, Teresa and I have already given each other our gifts.  Well, she got what she wanted, I got what I wanted.  And she does have a Nintendo Switch on the way (she ordered that before we left to come home, no clue when it’s supposed to arrive).  It’s all good getting the brunt of Christmas done early.  The only other 2 people I buy for are my brother and mother, and they both wanted gift cards from Amazon (well that is what mom wants, I am just assuming brother will be cool with a gift card).  I always find something cool for my brother for his birthday in June.  So, basically I got 2 gift cards to go and I am DONE Christmas shopping.

In case you didn’t know, Christmas is a holiday I choose not to celebrate.  I am no longer Bah Humbug, but I am still not going to put up a tree or decorate or go around telling everyone “Merry Christmas”.  I just don’t dig this holiday.  I give gifts to 3 people, because I love them and they celebrate and expect gifts, and it’s not worth the fight.

While at my brother and mother’s house, I broke Mojo’s food bowl.  Didn’t mean to, it was at the foot on the bed and I rolled over and stretched knocking it off to the tile floor.  It was a total break.  So Teresa took Pucky and Mojo to Petsmart today (right now) to get Mojo a new bowl and probably some more stuff for them for Christmas.  I probably should have went to keep her from going nuts, but people at this time of year are not my thing.  So I stayed home.  —  She is picking up Applebee’s on the way home.

The D&D game I am joining is supposed to start this coming Friday, but none of us can figure out how to add our characters to roll20.  Something about needing the game masters permission, and our game masters is as clueless about it as the rest of us are.  I guess we have a few days to figure it out, but I hate waiting to last minute to get anything done, and entering our characters in for the first time is going to take a while I am sure.

I ordered an IPhone 8+ which should be here tomorrow.  It is to replace my overly flakey IPhone 7+.  I could have got the X, but I didn’t want to pay 20 bucks more a month to Sprint.  Instead the 8+ is only a dollar forty seven more.  Here’s to hoping that the 8+ is less of a pita than the 7+ has been.  The 8+ is not a Christmas present, it’s just a necessity thing before I utterly destroy my 7+ in frustration.

I miss my mom and brother pretty bad.  Like I have said before in this blog, it’s worse right after I see them.  Mom said she is going to try to come in February.  And then both of them are supposed to come at the end of March beginning of April for Teresa’s birthday (April 1st) and our 25th Anniversary (April 2nd).  I think if they are coming at the end of March, mom will call of her visit in February.  I will see them when I see them I guess.  All I know for absolute sure, is that I am going to be there on June 3rd (don’t have arriving and leaving dates yet) for my brother’s 50th birthday.  He only has one of those, so I have to be there for it.  And then again I will be there next November from the weekend before Thanksgiving til Thanksgiving.  Beyond that, nothing is certain as far as travel to see my family or my family coming to see me.

My mood is as weird as the weather here has been.  One minute I am deeply down and the next I am in a great mood.  I hate Ultradian cycling (ultra-rapid mood changes).  I’m not sleeping well cuz of my back (which I will get to in a minute).  That helps contribute to my weird moods.  The trip back to the Region and then coming back home could be contributing to my weird moods.  A lot of things going on could be contributing to my weird moods.  I just want to settle into a mood and stick with it for a while.

My back is really truly fubar now.  I sleep on my side.  I can only sleep for about 6 hours without pain.  I get up take a Flexeril, wait and hour and then try to go back to sleep.  Been doing this for a month or so now.  Really is a pita.  If I could sleep on my back again (haven’t been able to do such yet) I probably could sleep longer.  Anyhow, every morning I wake up in pain, and that sucks.  Then if I sit in my chair for 2 hours while the Flexeril gets a good grip, my back will hurt more because of that.  So I have taken to standing around, sometimes eating breakfast while I stand but mostly just standing around.  So, I sit for 1 hour or so, then stand for 1 hour or so, then go back to bed for a couple hours.  I don’t make any appointments in the morning cuz I am hurting too much.  It just sucks.

Dr Wehbe, my oncologist, is ordering another bone marrow biopsy.   I find out when it is tomorrow.  Then when I get those results, I will contact Mayo Clinic up in Minnesota.  They have the top rated Hematology department in the US.  So I figure I will give them a shot at figuring out why my platelets are low and fixing said issue.  Dr Wehbe has tried everything I have found online to try, so time to go to the blood experts.   Gonna suck going up there in the winter.  But I gotta get better so I can stop being afraid

Heh, I haven’t been able to get the hang of fighting multiple Urog in Middle Earth:Shadow of Mordor.  It seems that every time I get past a group for 4 or more, I run into another group of 4 or more than kicks my butt.  I suppose it just takes practice and dying a lot to get better, but dang its frustrating right now.  I suppose I have to give it more than a day and a half but still.  It’s more frustrating that Teresa kicks serious butt in her game Horizons: Zero Dawn and I am still on training wheels in mine.

The rest of vacation and Thanksgiving.

Right off the bat, I hope everyone who reads this had as great of Thanksgiving as you possibly could have.  I should have logged in yesterday to wish everyone Happy Thanksgiving, but I ran out of time.  So, here I am afterwards hoping everyone had the best.

On Tuesday, Rodney I went in search of this little hole in the wall café in Valparaiso, we failed at that.  We ended up at a place called the Industrial Revolution.  American food.  Real good, kinda pricey.  Interesting atmosphere.  Neither of us had eaten there before, so it was a pleasant surprise that it was so good. Rodney is the only friend I got to see while I was back, short visit and timing of things made getting with others really impossible.

The rest of the vacation was spent surfing the net for pre-black Friday deals, catching up on Facebook, playing World of Warcraft and generally just hanging out with my mother and my brother some of the time (he works overnights, not conducive to hanging out light dwellers).

It was really nice being away from Adel, out of Iowa for a week.  Both Teresa and I needed a vacation, and this fit the bill.  Doing much of nothing for a week was really relaxing, but it feels good to be home

Thanksgiving at Ruby’s.  I love Ruby and Ray and Butch and Charlie.  Beyond that I am lucky to know the name of the 20some other people who came to Ruby’s.  And that’s not an exaggeration.  Being away from the Region for 20some years and only coming back once or twice a year to visit my mom and brother has left me out of the Jackson family loop.   Not that I don’t like going to Ruby and Ray’s for Thanksgiving, it just feels weird being with all these people I do not know.

That being said, the food this year was phenomenal.  Teresa cooked the turkey, stuffing, and gravy and her potato dish.  Ruby basically cooked EVERYTHING else.  It all tasted great.

We left the Thanksgiving meal early cuz we had a long drive home last night.  We left around 5 and got home around 11:30.  Yeah, we were in no rush, stopped quite a few times and basically took 6 1/2 hours to do a 6 hour drive.  It’s all good, we made it with only one mishap, getting off the 80 for Pucky to pee and then finding out that the exit we got off on did not have an onramp in the direction we were headed. DOH.  Added 15 minutes as we drove back east to turn around and head west.   Like I said, we rolled in here around 11:30, unloaded, changed into sleepwear and proceeded to watch the end of Dancing with the Semi-to Marginally Famous in fast forward.  3 episodes in less than an hour including the finale.  Then we crashed.

So all in all it was a much appreciated vacation from the same old same old that is our lives.  Already looking forward to next Summer, when we go back for my brother’s 50th birthday.  It’s my regular Summer trip, but Teresa has agreed to accompany me this time since it’s such as special occasion.

And Vacation goes on

Woke up too early this morning.  Not ridiculously early, just 7:30am.  Way too early to wake up while on vacation.  However, I was awake to chat with my brother a bit when he got home from work, so that was cool.  Anyhow, now at 9:40 I am tired again.  But my friend Rodney is coming to pick me up for lunch at 11:30, so napping would only be for maybe an hour and that just isn’t worth it.  I will be fine.  Just nap after lunch, yeah, that’s a plan.  Don’t know where we are going for lunch, kinda making Rodney decide… it’s his town, he’s driving, he picks (I reserve veto rights).

Jenny was gonna stop by after school today, but I don’t think that is happening now.  She hit a deer on her way to school (she’s a teacher) and wiped out the grill on her car.  So she gets to play with insurance and repair places today, I’d say fun fun but it’s not.

My copy on Xananthar’s Guide to Everything is arriving today.  I had amazon ship it to my mom’s place, so I will have it in my mitts when the mail runs.  Unfortunately, the mail doesn’t run til 2:30-3 o’clock here.  At home the mail has already ran.  Anyhow, this book should be cool.  A lot of new classes, new magic items, and random new stuff for D&D 5e.  This book needed to come out now.  Too much referring to Unearthed Arcana, which is online.  Now it’s in a BOOK, which makes it more tangible.  So cool.  I will have it this afternoon.

Vacation is going pretty well.  Zoomed here.  Zoomed down to Thanksgivingfest, which was a blast.  Zoomed back up here.  Chilled yesterday.  Gonna hang out with a great friend this afternoon while my wife and mother go shopping.  Have no clue what tomorrow brings, but Thursday is turkey day and then Zoom back home.  Yes, the plan is to head back to Adel on Thanksgiving eve.  Teresa did that last year and said the roads were empty.  So it’s all good.

I already know who is hosting Thanksgivingfest next year.  Cori told me it would be her and Bruce’s turn unless someone else stepped up.  Coolness, get down there on Friday and not have to travel anywhere else, then leave Sunday after Lunch with Andi and Shawn (if it happens) or earlier on Sunday (if it doesn’t).  Anyway, Cori and Bruce have a huge house which can easily fit all of us.

The guy who wrote the interactive D&D character sheets that I have been using for quite a while has been told by Wizards of the Coast to stop due to Copyright infringement. So the last one I got will literally be the last one he makes.  Stupid.  He was infringing anything, he was just making it easier to make characters for their stupid game.  He gave all credit where it was needed, basically it was a tribute to D&D and Wizards of the Coast and WotC squashed him.  So, there will be no updates to his sheet to include Xanathar’s Guide to Everything and that annoys me.  Oh well, I guess good little things often get squished by corporate giants.

OK, let’s address my mood.  It’s after Thanksgivingfest, the high point of my mood for the Fall.  Now I am rapidly degrading back down to where I was before I started on this trip.  Depressed.  It hit last night and is dragging into today.  I will put on a happy face for my mom and for anyone else I see until we get back to Iowa.  Then I can be what I am and no one will worry about me (except Teresa).  You wanna know something SAD sucks worse than Bipolar, I have meds that keep the bipolar in check but NOTHING helps with the Depression associated with SAD, just gotta muddle thru until the depression goes away.  Like February.

Well, I have read several weather predictions for winter in Iowa this year.  Some say it’s gonna be like last year.  Very little snow, really not that cold.  Others are saying it’s going to be horrible.  Lots of snow, and COLD.  I hope for the little snow.  But I am thinking we are due for a bad winter.  Either way, I probably won’t go out much this winter, why should it be different than any other winter when I wasn’t trying to work?  I’ll sit around the house, play computer games, read some (If my brain every kicks back into reading mode), dream of winning Publishers Clearing House, basically do a bunch of nothing.  Bunch of nothing has been the main cry of my life since I was declared disabled back in 2003.  Yeah, I have made some attempts at school and attempts at working.  Failed those, I guess I really am disabled.  I think now, in late 2017, I have completely accepted the disability call and am just gonna chill as much as possible for the rest of my life.

Speaking of “rest of my life”.  When I saw my oncologist last week, my platelets were still at 30.  And he still had no clue why.  He is going to run another bone marrow biopsy and then I am heading to Mayo Clinic.  Yup, gonna let the big guys have a crack and solving my platelet issue (or my returned leukemia if the bone marrow biopsy is bad).  It’s not that I think the doctors in Iowa are bad, just Mayo Clinic is rated in the top 3 (number 1 overall,  number 3 for hematology and oncology) in the nation.  And it’s closer to us than coming here.   So yeah, my oncologist will write a letter to Mayo and boom I will start the process.  I’m scared.  I just want the best chance of getting better, I think Mayo is just that.

Well, it’s post 10:30, I need to start getting ready.  So let me go quick grab a video to sign off by.

Yeah, Cori is gonna hate this.  But hey, it’s not her blog.


I woke up entirely too early (yesterday now) this morning.  Seems that Bruce and Cori’s son has a problem with staying in the house at night.  He came back in about 4:30 am Eastern Time, which is 3:30am my time.  He didn’t manage to wake anyone else in the house but me.  I could not fall back asleep.  So as of right now I have been awake a little over 22 hours.  Surprised I can still do that.

Bruce and I when to the store about 10:30am to get last minute stuff.  Now, I had told the people at Taylor’s Bakery I would be there between 10:30 and 11.  We got back to the house about 10 minutes til 11, and started loading.  We got to Taylor’s about 11;25.  I am anal about time, luckily the bakery wasn’t horribly busy and we got the cakes and were off getting to Sam and Shel’s just before noon.  Noon is when Thanksgivingfest was scheduled to start.

We sat and talked and ate for a while before things started breaking down into games and movies and such.  We watched the movie The Gamers: Dorkness Rising.  It was kinda funny, kinda silly, quite the surprise.  It was pretty good actually.  If you are remotely a gamer, it’s worth the time to check it out and it is on Amazon Prime Video.

The second movie was Airplane.  You know, the comedy.  I got bored with it shortly after it started and went and watched my friends who were playing Ticket to Ride (I call it Trains). Sam and Shel supplied the game, have like all the expansion and play whenever they have a chance.

When that game was done, some of us tried a new game that Hoggle brought.  It is called Labyrinth.  Yes, based off the movie Labyrinth.  Basically you get 13 turns to get 4 characters together and take on the big baddies in the middle of the board.  The catch is that there are dice rolls you have to make to beat these individual squares you land in.  OK, I am not doing it justice.  Just leave it to say, it was a little weird, a little difficult, and a little fun.  I think it was more fun with the people I was playing with, While we were playing Labyrinth, they watch a movie that I can’t remember the name of.

Then while Xanadu played, we played Magic: the Gathering.  The 3 of us who play don’t really touch our decks between Thanksgivingfest.  It’ kinda funny, We have a lot of “I wonder what this deck is like” and “I wonder what’s in this deck” moments.  I told Hoggle I would play him if he didn’t break out his vampire deck.  He agreed.  So I brought out my Slivers Deck and kicked the crud out of him.  My Slivers deck is now blackballed too.  Then -jubal joined us, he kept getting really lucky.  I think he won all the 3 way battles we had.  It was fun, Tony and Adam are great people.  We managed to catch a lot of Xanadu after we finished Magic.

Then a bunch of people started leaving.  Seems that people have lives outside of the Gang.  Anyhow, by now it was getting later.   We then watched the Rocky Horror Picture Show, with Sam, Bruce, and Hoggle doing the cutsie little comments that go along with the movie.  It was enjoyable too.

Then everyone who was left decided it was time to go, it was like 12:30am by the time we got out of there.  Bruce got us back here in one piece, so it’s all good.  And when I got here, I got a piece if pepperoni pizza that I had been craving all evening,  So it was doubly good to get back here.

Things to note:

Sam has a cool little arcade machine with a few hundred games.  Played quite a bit of the wrestling games when I first got there.

Shel still barely talks as far as I can tell.  I mean she talks, but compared to the rest of us, she is really quiet.

Sam and Shel’s house fit the 18 of us fairly well.  I wouldn’t have wanted to put many more people in there.

Cori bought entirely too much food.  She threw away a lot.  But its always better to have too much then too little.

The cakes, both of them, were totally gone.  I had a sheet cake that was supposed to feed 24 and an Angel food cake which was supposed to feed 16.  So 18 people at 40 servings of cake.  lol.

I gotta make some new Magic Decks with my old cards or at least shuffle the ones I have better.  I had 9 lands out and the next 5 cards were lands of different types.  Yeah, I think shuffling is in order before next year.

There is still a palpable tension between a few of the Gang members who got divorced and one of them remarried.  They don’t argue or anything, just you can feel that they are not completely comfortable with each other.

We did get by with no drama this time.  WOOT.  At least none that I was aware of.

All in all it was a grand time.  I had a blast.  Now it’s after 2 and I am fading fast.  The song tonight if I can find it will be from one of the movies we watched…



We mad it to the Region on Thursday night in record time.  Thank you Waze and cruise control.  It was an all together uneventful drive from Adel, Iowa to Portage, Indiana.  Normally 6+ hours done in 5 1/2. WOOT.  Not saying Teresa had a lead foot, just saying cruise control was locked in and very rarely did it click off.  —–

The trip down to Fishers from Portage was also uneventful.  Just have to make the observation that Iowa and Illinois have incredible nice roads and Indiana has road construction.  A LOT of road construction.  Waze on numerous occasions warned of a police up ahead to find no police and transversely didn’t mention a police when one was there.  But one way or the other, this 3+ hour trip was done in exactly 3 hours.  Even with coming to a complete top twice on the 465.


I am at Bruce and Cori’s, ready for bed.  It’s only 9pm my time, but damn I am tired.  I will be going to sleep soonly.  But it has been great hanging out all afternoon evening with Cori and then the evening with Bruce too.  You know the kind of people you just feel comfortable with automatically?  That is Cori and Bruce.  We talked and talked about lots of things.  It just feels right being with them.

Tomorrow is Thanksgivingfest (still one word, not two).  The Gang has been doing this gathering since 1991.  Long before having a pre-thanksgiving party became a thing.  No, I don’t believe it has happened every year for us, but in the last several years or so, it’s been continual.  Gang members from across the nation have been known to make appearances.  It’s a way cool event, bet  you wish you could come.

My back hurts tonight.   Silly me didn’t take any stretch breaks on the way down here.  So my back is reminding me that sitting for so long HURTS.  Heh.  Tomorrow will be a lot of sitting too.  I have meds for that.  Flexeril and Pain Killers that I have been hanging on to.  No better time to break those out.  Yeah, they make me a little loopy, but hey, it’s a party.

I am really missing Teresa tonight, but I totally understand her reasoning for not coming down with me.  It’s all good.  I did just FaceTime her.  Seems everyone up there took at least a 3 hour nap (Jim slept 6 hours).  Then they sat around til 7pm, then went to Red Lobster, where she ate crab.  She said mom and Jim were done 1/2 hour before her.  But she didn’t care, she had crab.  I hope tomorrow goes by quickly so I can get back up there on Sunday.

Can’t wait for December 1st.  I am actually jazzed about playing in a D&D game.  Next to zero stress.  Danny has really been working his butt off to make this good.  I am very much looking forward to it starting.  I am hoping we don’t have a session zero and get right into the game.  It should be EPIC.

My blog post about Thanksgivingfest will probably happen Sunday evening.  Tomorrow night I fully expect to be dead tired since festivities don’t end til midnight.  Then again we are all getting old, it might end sooner and you might get the report tomorrow night.  We shall see.

In dedication to all who will be driving this holiday season….