30 year High School Reunion, really?

Well, I had my 8th bone marrow biopsy yesterday.  Got a lot of holes in my hip bone now,  this was just one more.  Weird thing, my platelets were 46.  Which is a considerably improvement from 30 where they had been.  Now the question is: Did they make a mistake? or am all the sudden my platelets are improving?  I don’t know which it is.  I’d like to think that the hospital lab didn’t make a mistake.  It would be way cool to be heading in the right direction again, we still wouldn’t have an answer as to why my platelets crashed, but maybe just maybe my platelets are getting better. Guess we will find out on Thursday when I see my cancer doc,

Beyond that games and stuff we bought on Black Friday, I ordered Teresa a gift which arrived yesterday.  I wasn’t expecting it to come in a plain box, I figured it would come just as it was.  I was worried she would see it and know what it was, but being in a plain box, she saw it and had no idea.  Cool.  I hope she likes it.  If she doesn’t want it, I will keep if for myself.

Next September my High School Class is having a 30 year reunion for 1987 1988 1989, or so it seems as of now.  It was just 88 and 89 yesterday, but today its 87 and 88.  I’m sure the organizers will get their act together and announce it correctly soon.  Well, however it comes down, I think I will be going to the Portage High School Class of 1988 High School Class Reunion.  This will be the first high school reunion that I will make it to.  I wasn’t invited to any earlier ones except the 25th, we were broke then, I couldn’t make it.  Now, the 30th being a joint reunion means I potentially get to go and see many more friends than if it was just our class, so that is kinda cool.

The only other reunion I attended was Teresa’s 10 year reunion and that was BORING.  I didn’t know many of the people and she said she didn’t associate with many more of them. So we sat at the table, ate, and talked with the friend who had made Teresa and therefore me go.

Now I wasn’t a social butterfly in High School.  And my class was huge (not by the standards of classes graduating now from Portage High School).  There are a lot of people who will be there that I do not know and many more than I will not remember, especially with them making it for 3 classes.   Oh well, I will go and visit my friends and maybe reconnect with some others.  It should be good.

Oh yeah, the have set a date of September 22, 2018 for the reunion.  That’s as good of date as any I guess.

My mood has improved greatly with the weather turning winter cold.  I’m actually in a pretty decent mood.  Seasonal Affective Disorder is weird.  The weirdest thing triggers it and the weirder things trigger it to stop.   I am glad that I don’t have the depths of winter SAD, that would suck.  Where is goes from January to March.  Cold and depressed.  **shiver**.

Being in a better mood makes me want to go out, but I don’t want to be cold.  Still need to find my hat, gloves and scarf.  Iowa winters can be brutal cold.  I hope my big winter coat still fits, I recall it getting hard to zip up last year, and I have put on weight since then.  DOH.  Well, this week I will search everything out and try my big coat on.

I have complained about no big stars coming to Des Moines.  Well, I am wrong again, Katy Perry (who you can argue isn’t as big of a star and she used to be) did a show here just a few days ago.  I hear it was a sell out.  Good for her.  Good for Des Moines.  With the rate that the towns around Des Moines are growing, I figure more big tours will be stopping here.  That’ll be good.

I don’t miss working and not getting paid.  lol.  But I do miss getting to go to Chamber of Commerce events.  I miss my “chamber friends”, people who I saw and hug out with at chamber events but not friends to go to lunch with or anything.  And now, with me accepting my disabled status, there is nothing to gain out of going to lunch with me anyway.


Because I heard it on Music Choice and its stuck in my head.

Good morning Starshine, The Earth says Hello

Getting up at 5am tomorrow to get to showered and dressed, Teresa is getting up at 5:30.  This is to get to the hospital by 7am.  The hospital is pretty much in the center of Des Moines, and it takes a good 40 to 45 minutes to get there.  We will be going before traffic, which will be good.  My biopsy is scheduled for 8:30am.  Yes, it take 1 1/2 hours to get registered and have the blood draw and tested and get all prepped for the biopsy.  Once the biopsy starts it takes about 5 minutes, but I will be doped up for another 45 or so.  They give you good drugs so you don’t hurt when they do it, but when those drugs wear off the site of the biopsy is really achy.  And it remains achy for 3 days.  Hopefully this will be the LAST biopsy I get for a long while.  But I thought that about the biopsy I had 4 months ago.  Oh well, better safe than sorry.

By the way, I have no other symptoms of leukemia, not paler than usual and my energy level is pretty normal.  So, it is just my platelets that is warranting this biopsy which is the exact same reason that I had the biopsy 4 months ago (which was normal).

Winter is supposed to arrive this week.  63 high today, 65 high tomorrow, 37 high on Tuesday, then downhill from there.  Even a chance of a “lite” snow on Friday.  My chemo destroyed system does not like being cold, doesn’t like being hot either (but I have no worry about that right now).  I have a big thick winter coat that is supposed to keep me warm down to 30 below, it does a decent job on what it covers but damn my legs and feet get cold.  Need to find my gloves, hat and scarf.  Yeah, I have become a weather wimp, I am ok with that.  If I ever win a lot of money, I am moving away from IOWA and its extreme weather.

My mood has improved.  Still on the low side, but much better than I was before my vacation and better than I was yesterday.  So with the winter coming, my mood gets better.  It’s just fall that sets me off; September, October and November.  The depression does sometimes hang around thru December if the weather doesn’t turn (last year for instance).  So come on winter, I am almost ready for you 😛



I thought I had lost the key to my wife’s car.  However, it turns out she borrowed it cuz she lost hers.  It costs 250 dollars to replace said key, ick ack yuck.  I thought mine disappeared at the funeral.  Shows how much driving I do, she borrowed the key on Tuesday and I didn’t notice til Friday.  Anyhow, I went thru the hassle of calling our car repair people to find out how much it was to make another key.  Then Teresa told me she borrowed it after I told her I called to get a replacement key made.   DOH.  Her key is somewhere in the house.

I have been trying to play computer games, Civ4 Warlords, the old standby isn’t getting me interested.  I get to where oil is discovered and just bail.  I own Civ5 and Civ6.  Civ5 is just plain weird, and Civ6 might be too complicated for my poor feeble brain.  I have thought of getting back into Skyrim, I had a lot of fund playing Skyrim, but that’s not pulling me in either.  Age of Empires and Age of Wonders, age of not interested right now.  I don’t know what is up in my head.  I used to be a gaming junky and now all I seem to do is read Facebook and post blog entries.  Gonna have to force myself to play something seriously and get back into computer gaming.  Oh yeah, I forgot, I have been playing a little bit of World of Warcraft.  But even that isn’t really interesting me much.  Pet Battles with my new Troll hunter and Garrison stuff with Ughughkill.

My back has been feeling better, not well but better.  I am not hurting as much when I wake up.  That can mean 2 things, my back IS getting better now that I am moving around a lot more or I have learned to sleep as to not cause the back to hurt as much.  Either way, I still take a Flexeril every morning.  And I very rarely have to resort to my pain pills of which I have about 10 left.  When I see Dr. Ransdell, we are gonna have a long talk about pain and how nothing he has tried or had me try is working.   Plus the shot he gave me in the neck region has worn off, so I am back to having pain across my entire back, not just the mid/lower parts.

My desk is a mess.  Teresa says I never throw anything away, and that is why I come across like a slob.  And as I look around the desktop, I got a lot of junk on my desk that needs to be pitched.  Perhaps that will be my project for later today.

Meat Loaf in the morning

Last night’s D&D game was entertaining.  Had a lot of technical issues.  Had people arrive at late and at inopportune times.  But all in all it was fun.  We played for 3+ hours, we were bound to accomplish something and I think we did.  We know who some of the bad guys are.  We know who supplies the “funky mushrooms” and have a map to where he is.  We know how to rescue the townsfolk sorta.  I think we are in good shape.  We did not see any combat but the Barbarian did kill a well and a couple of doors.  It is a shame that we have to wait 2 weeks to resume this game, but hey I am just a player, have to follow what the DM says.

The funeral yesterday was really nice but sad.  The parts that weren’t in Hebrew were really well said.  The rabbi was spot on in his presentation.  We sent my friend off in a good way.

Afterwards there was a condolence luncheon.  I had a blintz and a sweet noodle dish and some vegetables.  They had a lot of fish stuff, being allergic to fish stuff I had to be careful.  But the stuff I did eat was phenomenal.

Teresa had a rough week at work last week.  And will probably have a rough week next week too.  Stupid people working on the big project with her not getting things done.  Her having to pick up all the slack as well as do her own work, and then there we outages, which it seems she is the only one who can fix those too.   It’s just unfair to her, I wish there was something that could be done to help her, but there isn’t, so I just listen when she vents and then tell her I love her, cuz that is really all I can do.

I’m a little nervous about the upcoming bone marrow biopsy.  Nothing good can come out of the results.  Definitely various degrees of bad.  Worst case scenario:  My leukemia is back.  Not likely, I have no other symptoms.  Best case scenario:  They find nothing wrong.  My platelets are still ridiculously low and we still have no clue as to why.

Yeah, the plan is still Mayo Clinic to hopefully get some answers.  But it can take months to get into Mayo, and what if they don’t have any clue either?

Mojo is funny, every morning when I wake up before Teresa and head to my computer he growls and barks at me, waking Teresa up.  He charges me, I pet him and he goes back to bed.  This has been happening since we moved the computer setup into the back half of the bedroom.  Teresa thinks its fixable if I run around the bed and feed him and Pucky, I am thinking either way I have to walk by the computer desk on the way to get the food and bowls, he will still growl and bark.  It’s not a big deal, just seems weird to me.

Here is one of my favorite artists…singing his most famous song.


I hope I am wrong

Today was a sad day.  I found out that a friend of mine who I have neglected recently passed away 2 days ago.  I’ve told people before that I totally suck at being a 3D friend, no one believes me.   Well anyhow, tomorrow is the funeral, I am going.  He was the only friend who came and visited me while I was in the hospital, so being at his funeral is the least I can do.  We didn’t talk often, we weren’t buddy buddy, but I feel I need to do this.  I don’t like funerals and I know nothing about Jewish funeral services, but hey, first time for everything I guess.  The world lost a great guy though.

I actually remembered it was Thursday and attended the Acute Leukemia chat for a bit tonight.  This I haven’t done in several weeks.  Most of the regulars were there.  I just didn’t feel up to chatting much so I made up some lame excuse and left after a half hour or so.  I did get a bunch of sympathy from them about my platelets.  I’m not sure that is what I need or want.  I just want this to be over and get my life back to “normal”.

I also went to Edwina’s Bipolar Chat for a bit tonight, something I haven’t done in several months.  That was directly because of my friend’s passing.  I needed to make sure they knew, which they did.  I should have known they knew, probably one of the first groups of people who were informed.  Chat was a big part of his life.

So, I have been fretting over the D&D game and getting our characters into roll20.  Well, our DM has decided we aren’t putting our characters into roll20.  He “trusts” us.  Which is cool.  We are starting at level 4, not like we have super-powers or mega-weapons so there isn’t a whole lot we need to inform the DM of.  So the game tomorrow night is on.  6:30pm my time, giving me time to have dinner, which is a good thing.  Otherwise I wouldn’t eat til like 10pm, which would suck.

I am very much looking forward to this game.  I haven’t been a player in a game in a long time (I am not counting the 2 sessions of 3.5 D&D I played right before getting diagnosed with leukemia).  It’s been over 25 years since I played any role playing game as a player.  And my regular readers will remember that I killed the 2 games I was running as a DM very recently.  I’m ready to be a player.  I’m sure I can be a great player.  Oh yeah, I forgot the 3 sessions I played (as a player) with Jon.  So, I have been a player in recent history, but for only 3 sessions, does that really count?  Anyhow, I am ready to play in a big campaign with lots of things going on and that is what I have been promised.

I am still dealing with depression.  I still can’t bring myself to play any computer games or really read anything.  So I sit around all day on Facebook and entering Publishers Clearing House contests.  I lead a boring life.

I realized today that I have been over a year doing absolutely nothing of value.  I am a bum.  I want to change that.  At least start doing more things around the house.  Don’t know if I am ready for laundry, but dishes perhaps, and picking up after myself.  Yeah, I should be able to do that.  All this idea, requires me being healthy enough to do it.  So, my wanting change won’t come about for a while I guess.  But dammit, I am gonna try eventually.

Found out today that the hospital wants me there at 7am on Monday and not 7:30.  It’s a 40-45 minute drive to the hospital.  UGH, gonna be waking up way early on a Monday. It could be worse, I could have had to be there at 5am for the 6:30am biopsy.  But it’s all good, I will be there on time and go thru the hoops that they make me go thru and be to the radiology department on time.

I think this biopsy is #8 or #9.  I got a lot of holes in my hip bone.  It’s all good, I don’t think there is a limited number of holes you can have in your hip, well I am sure there is a limit, but I think its a huge number being as it’s a big bone.

Sorry, this isn’t a video.  It is just the song I wanted to post the other day.  The video is too weird for words, so just kick back for 5ish minutes and listen to Dutch Singer Do (yeah, DOH) sing to DJ Sammy’s music.

Here, a list I pretty much agree with.  I like WatchMojo, their lists are interesting if nothing else.

A bit better

Tonight I was in a slightly better mood than last night.  Not good, but not quite as bad.  I found out that 2 of the meds that I HAVE to take can cause my low platelet problem.  If I have to come off either one, I am gonna be upset.   I will talk to Dr. Wehbe (my cancer doc) about them next week Thursday when I see him to go over the results of my Monday bone marrow biopsy.  I really don’t think either of the meds are causing the low platelets, and my spleen isn’t enlarged, and I seriously doubt I have leukemia again.  Seriously, all I really know is that I have no clue why my platelets are down so low.

While digging around the net for info about pain killers you can take while you have low platelets, I found a site where they talked out low platelets as a condition.  Usually triggered by some other issue.  Other people out there (Not that I ever thought I was the only one) have as low and lower platelets than I do and are living their lives as best as they can.

Never did get find the answer for what pain killer I can take, just a long list of meds I can’t.  You’d think a net junkie like me would be able to find what I was looking for, but nope, no luck.  So, that is another thing to talk to Dr. Wehbe about.  No, I don’t want him to prescribe the pain killers, Dr Ransdell (my pain doc) is supposed to do that, when I see him around Christmas time.

In the mean time, I will just be depressed and go about doing nothing all day.

Well, it’s Wednesday at 11:28pm Central time, and still we can’t add characters to the D&D game for Friday.  Our DM said he would make it happen today when he got home from work, apparently he didn’t do something or did something wrong cuz I tried just a bit ago and nope, still no adding characters to the game.  Let us hope that he gets his stuff together tomorrow so we aren’t rushing to get it done on Friday.

Teresa has been having bad days this week at work.  It has to be rough being expected to be the expert on just about everything that her company does for the internet.   She is the sole person who knows probably 60% of what the company does.  And her boss and coworkers are all in New York while she is in Des Moines.  So they all resent that she kicks total butt on the work she does.  And the morons who she expected to get something accomplished while she was on vacation actually mucked some stuff up and put them further behind on the big project.   It’s just ridiculous that her company can’t find qualified people to help get the work done.  Oh well, I figure she is in for a few more bad days, then hopefully they pass and she can go back to having normal days or maybe even good days.  She deserves good days.

Teresa knows that audiobooks make me sleepy.  She has been listening to an audiobook all evening.  I have been yawning and trying to stay awake.  I almost went to sleep at 8:30pm, but fought that off by going outside.  At least it is an interesting book that supposedly I have read.  I lost a lot of what I have read when I went thru chemo.  Even some books that I totally loved and remembered that I loved are like new to me.  Which I guess saves us some money cuz I don’t have to buy new books.

Horizon: Zero Dawn is a cool game.  Teresa has been playing it.  I hope it wins Game of the Year.  It’s nominated you know.  If you own a PS4 it’s worth looking in to.

Teresa has declared bed time.    So, I am gonna cut this off.

crappy quality video for a great song.

Nothing going right

Well, I asked for my mood to stop rapid cycling, it did.  Today I am terribly depressed.  It’s fall.  I just got back from vacation and see nothing to do in the near future (nothing really in the long future either).  I miss my family.  My platelets still are really low and there is currently no clue as to why.  All sorts of things are piling up on me and dammit, I am down.  I said something to Teresa via Skype, it was horribly bad for me to say, I feel like crap for saying it, just more to feel bad about.

My bone marrow biopsy is scheduled for Monday with check-in at 7:30am, guess no sleeping in on Monday morning for me.  Will get the results (if it isn’t leukemia) on Thursday at 10amish, a much more reasonable time.  If it is leukemia, I will be informed as soon as they know and things will move ridiculously fast again.  I don’t want to do leukemia round 2 in Iowa, so it’ll be a temp thing here before getting me into Mayo up in Minnesota.  I really don’t think it’s leukemia though.  I have zero other symptoms.  This test is just to rule leukemia out.

After this test, I will be contacting Mayo Clinic to get into their Hematology department.  I wrote about this before.

I just want to be better.

I am beginning to doubt we will be starting that D&D game on Friday.  As of Tuesday at 6:30pm Eastern Time, we still can’t enter our characters into the game.  I looked it up, should be a no brainer.  I pointed the DM to what I found, he has to do stuff before we (the players) can do anything.  I am beginning to think he isn’t going to get it done in time for us players to get our characters in.  I hope I am wrong.

I ordered a SoClean cpap cleaner today.  I’m supposed to use my cpap, you can go back and read my complaining about it on Facebook and probably a bit on early posts in this blog.  Anyhow, I was never able to get it clean, and it was making me sick.  SoClean says you just hook it up and hit the button on it cleans the whole system.  I am all for that.  So, it’s supposed to be here on Friday, maybe I will start getting better sleep again this weekend.  I know it can’t get worse.

I have a fairly wicked cough again.  It started while I was in Indiana, and is not getting better.  BLAH, it totally sucks to have a strange cough.  Hopefully it will go away or turn into a cold or something so I can either forget about it or get treatment for it.  I really only cough during the evening.  Just another sucky health issue.

Do I have any good news to share?  Not really at this time.  I’m sure if I wasn’t so down, I would have something positive to share.  But where I am mentally everything sucks.  Sorry.


I sat in the dark all day, until I tried to plug in a small usb plug.  Then I was too lazy to turn the light back off, besides Teresa gets upset when I sit in the dark.  So, I sit here, unable to do much but type this short blog entry, and even this was a challenge.  I hope you all are having a better day than me.

Of Black Friday and Medical Crap

We shopped on Black Friday but we didn’t leave our house.  All the presents were downloads from either the Playstation store or Steam.  So, needless to say, Teresa and I have already given each other our gifts.  Well, she got what she wanted, I got what I wanted.  And she does have a Nintendo Switch on the way (she ordered that before we left to come home, no clue when it’s supposed to arrive).  It’s all good getting the brunt of Christmas done early.  The only other 2 people I buy for are my brother and mother, and they both wanted gift cards from Amazon (well that is what mom wants, I am just assuming brother will be cool with a gift card).  I always find something cool for my brother for his birthday in June.  So, basically I got 2 gift cards to go and I am DONE Christmas shopping.

In case you didn’t know, Christmas is a holiday I choose not to celebrate.  I am no longer Bah Humbug, but I am still not going to put up a tree or decorate or go around telling everyone “Merry Christmas”.  I just don’t dig this holiday.  I give gifts to 3 people, because I love them and they celebrate and expect gifts, and it’s not worth the fight.

While at my brother and mother’s house, I broke Mojo’s food bowl.  Didn’t mean to, it was at the foot on the bed and I rolled over and stretched knocking it off to the tile floor.  It was a total break.  So Teresa took Pucky and Mojo to Petsmart today (right now) to get Mojo a new bowl and probably some more stuff for them for Christmas.  I probably should have went to keep her from going nuts, but people at this time of year are not my thing.  So I stayed home.  —  She is picking up Applebee’s on the way home.

The D&D game I am joining is supposed to start this coming Friday, but none of us can figure out how to add our characters to roll20.  Something about needing the game masters permission, and our game masters is as clueless about it as the rest of us are.  I guess we have a few days to figure it out, but I hate waiting to last minute to get anything done, and entering our characters in for the first time is going to take a while I am sure.

I ordered an IPhone 8+ which should be here tomorrow.  It is to replace my overly flakey IPhone 7+.  I could have got the X, but I didn’t want to pay 20 bucks more a month to Sprint.  Instead the 8+ is only a dollar forty seven more.  Here’s to hoping that the 8+ is less of a pita than the 7+ has been.  The 8+ is not a Christmas present, it’s just a necessity thing before I utterly destroy my 7+ in frustration.

I miss my mom and brother pretty bad.  Like I have said before in this blog, it’s worse right after I see them.  Mom said she is going to try to come in February.  And then both of them are supposed to come at the end of March beginning of April for Teresa’s birthday (April 1st) and our 25th Anniversary (April 2nd).  I think if they are coming at the end of March, mom will call of her visit in February.  I will see them when I see them I guess.  All I know for absolute sure, is that I am going to be there on June 3rd (don’t have arriving and leaving dates yet) for my brother’s 50th birthday.  He only has one of those, so I have to be there for it.  And then again I will be there next November from the weekend before Thanksgiving til Thanksgiving.  Beyond that, nothing is certain as far as travel to see my family or my family coming to see me.

My mood is as weird as the weather here has been.  One minute I am deeply down and the next I am in a great mood.  I hate Ultradian cycling (ultra-rapid mood changes).  I’m not sleeping well cuz of my back (which I will get to in a minute).  That helps contribute to my weird moods.  The trip back to the Region and then coming back home could be contributing to my weird moods.  A lot of things going on could be contributing to my weird moods.  I just want to settle into a mood and stick with it for a while.

My back is really truly fubar now.  I sleep on my side.  I can only sleep for about 6 hours without pain.  I get up take a Flexeril, wait and hour and then try to go back to sleep.  Been doing this for a month or so now.  Really is a pita.  If I could sleep on my back again (haven’t been able to do such yet) I probably could sleep longer.  Anyhow, every morning I wake up in pain, and that sucks.  Then if I sit in my chair for 2 hours while the Flexeril gets a good grip, my back will hurt more because of that.  So I have taken to standing around, sometimes eating breakfast while I stand but mostly just standing around.  So, I sit for 1 hour or so, then stand for 1 hour or so, then go back to bed for a couple hours.  I don’t make any appointments in the morning cuz I am hurting too much.  It just sucks.

Dr Wehbe, my oncologist, is ordering another bone marrow biopsy.   I find out when it is tomorrow.  Then when I get those results, I will contact Mayo Clinic up in Minnesota.  They have the top rated Hematology department in the US.  So I figure I will give them a shot at figuring out why my platelets are low and fixing said issue.  Dr Wehbe has tried everything I have found online to try, so time to go to the blood experts.   Gonna suck going up there in the winter.  But I gotta get better so I can stop being afraid

Heh, I haven’t been able to get the hang of fighting multiple Urog in Middle Earth:Shadow of Mordor.  It seems that every time I get past a group for 4 or more, I run into another group of 4 or more than kicks my butt.  I suppose it just takes practice and dying a lot to get better, but dang its frustrating right now.  I suppose I have to give it more than a day and a half but still.  It’s more frustrating that Teresa kicks serious butt in her game Horizons: Zero Dawn and I am still on training wheels in mine.