50 days to go

It’s 50 days before class begins.  Still not very anxious about school though.  Tomorrow I have a big thing going on that is filling all my anxiety expectations.  Any way tomorrow goes things will be better than they are now.  So I shouldn’t be anxious about it.  Hate Anxiety which is tied to my bipolar.  Like I said, tomorrow this thing comes to a head, and I should be less anxious or more anxious if school anxiety kicks in.


April 10th is Registration day for Fall Semester.  Yes, before Summer Semester even starts I have to register for Fall.  I am taking a couple refresher courses in math and composition.  Seems a good idea after bombing the math and composition parts of the WGU admissions tests.  Heh, I can write complete sentences and real paragraphs, so I don’t need the first English course, but the 2nd one covers formatting papers and so forth, stuff I really need a serious refresher course in.  I am also taking 2 marketing courses and a web development course.

Whereas I am sure the refresher math course will bore the crap out of me.  It will trigger memories of stuff from high school and all that stuff will flood back in and I will be ho hum, I know this stuff.  It’s all good though I will sit there and be a good student.

Like I said, I need the English Composition course.  I won’t say I am looking forward to it though.  Again, most of it should be triggering memories from high school.  Some of it will be new, but most of it will be rehash of old stuff.

The beginning Advertising class is actually the first of only 2 Marketing classes that I have to take for my AA in Marketing.  Something screwy there.  You’d think you would get more exposure to Marketing in the Marketing program, but guess not.  Anyhow, I am very much looking forward to this class.

The Digital Marketing class (which will technically the 2nd Marketing class for my AA), will hopefully teach me about making a successful campaign online.  That would be way cool to know.  I am very much looking forward to this class as well.

The last class, Web Development 101 (literally).  I can already do basic web pages, but I don’t know crap about CSS, which is the other half of Intro to HTML and CSS.  I might know more than I think I know, especially by the time the class comes around in the Fall.  This might be a sleeper hit for me.   Or it might be brain dead simple.  We shall see in the Fall.  This is the first class in my Web Development AAS degree.

I think that is a good schedule for my 1st real semester back in school.  Not too difficult it would seem.  The plan was to ease into this and I think I am doing such.

Spring Semester will be considerably more difficult in my estimation.  But I won’t get into that here, now.


I have to do Summer Semester.  And that starts in 50 days.  I am hoping this goes smoothly.  3 classes, 8 credits.  Shouldn’t be too difficult.  I don’t mean the classes, I mean the other issues I have that most of you know about.

I can do this.

I still feel good about this.





Missed it by 10 seconds

Today was a busy day.  I got a loaner car from the place where my car is in the shop, so I drove around doing the things I do normally over the course of a week.  Dang, I do a lot more than I thought I do.

The big thing of the day was meeting my new adviser and getting all my ducks in a row with her.  Whitney was a cute tiny little thing, but full of excitement and impressed that I had my schedule tentatively worked out for the next 2 1/2 years.  She is my Marketing adviser.  She is my Digital Marketing adviser.  She is not a Web Development adviser, but she gave me the info anyway.

She showed me a cool tool that they have in the web info systems for DMACC.  It shows you your program and what you have taken, but more importantly it shows you the classes you have to take and when you click the class, it tells you about it and then shows you the planned times its going to be offered in the next 3 years.  So, I click on Econ 120 and it shows every semester for the next 3 years.  But if I click on Web Development 466 it shows its only offered every other Spring.  So, I am gonna take my proposed schedule and get to work matching those classes up where they need to be.

At 5 minutes til 1, I went to go get my Student ID.  They are supposed to close at 1.  I got a little turned around, didn’t get there until right at 1 and the place was empty.  Security guard there said I missed them by about 10 seconds.  Grrr, now next week I make ANOTHER trip to Ankeny to get a picture taken for my OneCard ID.  I had one in 2015, but I have since lost that and they went to a new company anyway.

I am waiting for Financial Aid to tell me what I need to supply them so I can get student loans for this summer, and for fall too.   Hoping its all soon so I can buy the books I need ahead of time.

53 days before classes start and I am still not really stressing about school.  I have another big stressor that is going on that I won’t talk about, but school is just something happening in 53 days and it’s cool.

I’m going to do this.  I am going to make this happen.  I am due some good things to happen, why can’t it be school?DMACClogoblack




I thought I had done everything for my FAFSA to be submitted, but apparently I hadn’t.  Now it is submitted and should get to DMACC.  I hope to the gods that it is not too late to get aid for summer.  I feel like an idiot.  But I got the SAR, so I assumed I was finished.  Apparently not, had to do one more review and submit.  Which is now done.

I emailed my new adviser yesterday, she replied around 10am today.  Unlike Kris who had all her ducks in row and had a cool little app for scheduling and so forth.  Whitney just said call the front desk and ask for an appointment.   She is gonna be surprised when I walk in with all my classes pre-picked and my schedule done for the next 2 1/2 years.  I have my schedule done til Fall 2019.  Whitney did suggest I go to a “You haven’t been to school in a long while” seminar thingy that DMACC hosts.  If my car is running tomorrow, I might just attend that tomorrow evening.

Oh yeah, that reminds me, I need to fill out the disability form to be able to digitally record classes.  Well, I don’t need it for summer, but will need it for Fall.  So I will worry about that then.

In case you couldn’t tell, I am really trying to do this right this time.  I’m trying to make sure everything is set, so on day 1 I know what is going on and prepared.  I do need to buy some school supplies sooner as opposed to later.  The stuff I have bought before I have either used or its lost somewhere in the mess that is our spare room.  I suppose I could clean the spare room and figure out what I have and what I need.

Heh, I don’t know if I have told Teresa what my new major(s) is.  She will be fine with it, I am sure.  It’s just basically she doesn’t care what I am doing with school.  LOL.  She still wants me to be a system administrator, which bores me to no end.  I will tell her my choice tonight, after dinner but before she starts playing World of Warcraft.  Once she starts playing WoW, she is next to impossible to talk to.

It means so much to me that she is being supportive of me doing school ONE MORE TIME.  Even if it means going into debt, if I succeed, I will get a job and pay off the loans.  If I fail, hopefully I will know BEFORE the drop date, so I won’t owe the financial aid.  I should know within the first week if I am going to be able to do this.  Yeah, my mind goes bonkers and I know almost immediately.

When I have completed 9 credit hours and 1 100level Math Class and 1 100level English class, I plan to try to get into the Honors Program.  Why?  I don’t know.  I am only planning of 2 1/2 years of school right now, not really planning on transferring to a University when I finish.  But you never know and being an Honor’s student at DMACC automatically makes you an Honor’s student at the state Universities.  Plus, it looks good on a resume.

Anxiety levels are still relatively low.  I am amazed by this face.  Previously at 2 months out, I was a quivering mass.  This time, I am just all chill.  Maybe that is a sign that I can actually do it this time.

All I know for sure is that I am going to talk to my shrink about Anxiety anyway and how it has crushed me every time I have tried to go to school.  Maybe increase my clonazepam.  Or perhaps give me something else to go with it.  Assuming I am going to need it that is.  If I stay all relaxed, then it’s all good and I won’t need anything else.

Marketing-Digital Marketing-Web Development.   With the Marketing degree and the Web Development degree, I get the Digital Marketing focus for 1 class.  So it would be stupid not to pick it up too.

Yeah, I’m gonna do it this time.  Damn my bipolar.  Damn Leukemia.  I am not what has happened to me, I am what I CHOOSE to become.-I am not what happened to me. I am what





Feeling good

I feel good about my decision today.  Yeah, it was a bummer, but oh well, life goes on.  The idea of being a Marketing/Digital Marketing/Web Developer sets really well with me now.  At first I was kinda down on this idea, but I looked more into possibilities, and yeah, it’s a good set of majors for me.

Many moons ago I thought about doing Marketing as a major.  Teresa squashed it hardcore with “There is no way to make money with a marketing degree”.  I think I know better now.  And good web developers (which I plan to be) can make bank.  So it’s all good.

The classes will be easier on my poor feeble brain.  Instead of General Physics I, I get Intro to Sociology.  LOL.  Should be easier.  Not that I am saying it’s going to be easy, just saying it’s going to be easier.   Yeah, don’t want anyone to think I am claiming this as a sluff off major(s).  These degrees will require some real work.

I have my schedule worked out for Fall, got course numbers and everything.  Not too happy with 8am classes, but that is when what I want to take is offered.  I go to class every day except Friday.  I don’t know if Doc Shorty changed his day at the close clinic, if he did we will have to start seeing him in the afternoons cuz I am in class til 11:40 on Thursdays.  But that’s all good too, we will work it out.

My summer classes are Western Civ Modern to Present Day, Student Development, and Intro to Marketing.  I really should go register for that last one and drop the math class.  I’ll do that when I finish here.  I am happy with this set of classes to ease into school.  BTW, I don’t have to take Intermediate Algebra I + II instead I take College Prep Math.  Then math of liberal arts and statistics versus where I was with EVERY MATH CLASS UP TO CALCULUS.

Yeah, to say I am happy about this change, might still be an overstatement of the facts.   But to say I feel good about it, is the truth.  Happiness with it will come, I am sure.  And who knows, maybe I will learn how to give a 30 second elevator speech.  Always wanted to be able to pull one of those off.



Down then UP

Today started as a double downer.  Deciding I couldn’t do the doctor thing was a big downer.  I really WANT to be a doctor but it is just not going to happen in this lifetime.   If I was where I am now 25-30 years ago, I would have been all over it and I would have been Dr.  Jeff.

The second downer is my car.  I love my orange neon and hate when it has problems.  Leaking fluid from multiple places.  Heh, the car is 12 years old, its time for it to start leaking from places due to wear and tear.  I still think the big truck dumping car parts along the road didn’t help matters, but the mechanical said nothing seemed dinged or cut.  So its all coming out of our pocket with no insurance help.  Bummer.

UP is I think I have found my new major or majors rather.  I don’t want to own my own company again, too stressful, so this might be a little awkward in the job hunt.  But I am going to major in Marketing (focus in Digital Marketing) and Web Development.  DMACC has a decent Marketing program and an excellent Web Development program, the former leading to an AA degree the other an AAS degree.   I can finish both degrees (and the certificate for the focus) in Fall of 2019.  So I am back to 2 1/2 years.  It’s all good.

To touch back on the job hunt thing.  I know it’s 2 1/2 years away, but I hope to get hooked up with an established marketing/advertising company.  I know a couple of these companies personally and I wonder if they could use a marketing hand, at least in 2 1/2 years I mean.  The web development stuff if just fluff.  A way to make some money.  As long as there is the net, there will be web pages to be built.  Someone is making a lot of money making web pages (I know this cuz I bought Away From It All Travel’s webpage last year and it wasn’t cheap and he was busy) so I would like my share.  So between the two majors I should be ok job wise.

Now I need to talk to my new adviser.  I have to decide which of these will be the primary major and which will be the second.  I think Marketing will be primary, cuz it has the little digital tag on it.  It can’t be simple and have 1 adviser for both programs.   But I think I only talk to 1 adviser at a time.  I really liked Kris, too bad she is only Pre-Med.  I am sure I’ll like whoever my new adviser is.

The real question is… Is this what I want to do?  The answer is, I am not sure.  Heh, the only thing I was 100% sure of was that I wanted to be a doctor.  Now everything pales in comparison.  Can I do this?  Oh yeah, I am sure I can.  So, I am gonna put 110% into this and hopefully pull good grades and maybe transfer to a 4 year college in 2 1/2 years (for Marketing), but it won’t be earth-shattering if I don’t.  Plus the way I set up my schedule (yeah, planner me already plotted the schedule out) I will be doing all the summers online, so I can still make my brother’s party every year.

Marketing, Digital Marketing and Web Development.  Yup, that is what I am gonna do.



I don’t think I can do it…

I’ve went over my proposed schedule for the next 2 1/2 years and frankly, I just don’t think I can do it.  Too much new material, too much hard material, just too much of too much.  Plus there is the whole getting into Med School issue, no good Medical School will want a 50something year old 1st year, when they can take a 20something instead.  I want to be a doctor, 25 years ago.  That being said, I am student without a goal, I have decided NOT to kill myself and try to become a doctor.  This bums me out a bit, but it’s reality, there is no way I can do it.

Which brings me to the realization that I don’t want to do anything else really.  Yeah, I can become a teacher, even my therapist said I would make a good teacher.  But that now sounds like settling (in my head).  Maybe I am just being a butt about it cuz I am bummed about the doctor thing.

I have looked thru DMACC’s other options for degrees and nothing seems interesting at this point.  To get Financial Aid, you have to be striving towards a degree, which means Undecided isn’t a viable choice.  I just don’t know what to do.

I could talk to my adviser, but if I change majors, I will have to change advisers.  Heh, even Undecided has a different adviser.  DOH.

And on a school related note, I am gonna do the learning module thing and retake the math placement.  I want at least a 30%, up from my 25%.  I am pretty sure I can do that.

I guess I will go back thru the majors at DMACC and see if there is one that triggers something in my head or heart.  I am going to school starting this summer and I will have a major.  Just right now, I have no clue what that major will be.

It’s all good, all the classes I am registered for summer are core requirement courses.  So, even with changing majors, I won’t have to change my schedule.

Dumbed down English Comp?

After my debacle of math assessment today, I received my letter of non-admittance from WGU.  Who told me to go to Community College for a while, then come back.  Well, I had already decided that Community College is the way to go for me anyway.  WGU can go away.

Now comes my quandary.  Should I take a Dumbed down English Comp class, to relearn how to write papers.  I mean I really really bombed that essay for WGU.  Who is to say I won’t bomb the essays in Comp I?

I have already resigned myself to taking 2 1/2 years to finish at DMACC.  Adding 1 more English class, a beginning English class wouldn’t change that.  As a matter of fact, it would push classes around and help me fill that last semester.

Seriously, I don’t remember how to cite sources.  I still double space after the period.  I don’t give a crap about the oxford comma.  Things that a beginning English comp class might just cover.

And I could get away with writing less than stellar essays for a while.  I mean it would be for those who either are not good at English or people like me who just haven’t written anything serious for 29 years.

I have mad fill in form skills, and cut and paste skills galore.  I know how to build a proper paragraph (I think).  But writing a formal paper might be beyond my feeble English skills.

I think I might need to talk to my Adviser again.  I really can’t afford a bad grade in Comp I.  Might be time to totally jack around with my schedule.  Oh yeah, I’m pretty sure I need refresher English like I am taking refresher Math and refresher/low level Science.  It just makes sense when you haven’t seriously done something for 29-30 years to be rusty at it.

OK, so I wrote this all out as maybe maybe maybe, but it helped me decide that yes, I am going to take ENG061 College Prep Writing II.  I don’t need ENG060, its about how to build a sentence.  061 deals with actually writing papers and doing all the things right.

Now to go screw with my schedule to get this in too.  At least its only 3 credits.  I still don’t know about the Foreign Language requirements for UofI and ISU.